Grum's Blog in F# minor

Dublin Bike Scheme Fail

2010-08-26T10:34:00.000+01:00

On Monday night I had my first negative Dublin Bikes experience. Since signing up about a month ago I’ve been a big fan of the scheme. Working from an office on Talbot St with a Dublin Bike Stand right outside my building gives me a lot of scope for running errands around the city on my lunch break. It’s also handy when visiting Aily; I can get off the bus on Leeson St and nip up to her place in Rathmines on a Dublin Bike saving me loads of time.

However on Monday night, I took out a Dublin Bike from the stand on Townsend St. By the time I got to Portobello College at 10pm, the stands were completely full up and there was no space left to leave the bike. A quick check of the nearest bike stands revealed that all were at capacity. What the hell was I to do with this Dublin Bike I had been shafted with?

As it turns out, I was able to bundle it into the boot of Aily’s Nissan Micra and we drove down to St. Stephen’s Green where there was ample bike parking available. Unfortunately this highlights a shortcoming in the scheme when there are not enough bike spaces to satisfy demand. It will definitely make me think twice about renting a Dublin Bike in the future :(

Now away with ye…

Steam Train with Kreamy

2010-08-23T19:11:00.003+01:00

On Sunday, Karima and I took a ride in an old restored steam train. The journey lasted 20 mins from Greystones to Wicklow and we had about ninety minutes to arse about Wicklow before the 20 minute journey back to Greystones. Once Karima had shamelessly used her female assets to persuade the geriatric conductor that she had bought tickets weeks ago but genuinely left them at home, we were allowed on the train. It was a beautiful day and we bought into the whole occasion by leaning out of the window and waving at all the jealous people on the beaches on the way to Wicklow. When I returned home and told my Dad about the day, he told me you have to be careful not to get soot in your eye from leaning out the window. This proved to be an untimely piece of advice as the extreme left corner of my left eye had in fact been on the receiving end of a boulder of coal.

Anyway, it was a great day out. Thanks Kreamy for the tickets! And kudos to the railway anorak we interrogated on the platform in Wicklow. He knew everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, about the history of trains in Europe. He impressed us with facts such as the amount of water the steam train consumes – 40 gallons per mile by the way! That’s less than 5% efficiency so it’s no wonder diesel and electric trains have taken over in the last half century. Oh and I can definitely vouch for the quality of the Guinness on board a steam train.

Now away with ye...

Student Discount Fail

2010-08-07T19:11:00.003+01:00

I was just looking into the cost of a return train ticket to Belfast as I'm planning to head to a mate's house-warming up there next week. As the screenshot shows, any students planning on buying a return ticket to Belfast are getting a raw deal. If only there was some way for them to pass themselves off as adults to get a cheaper deal. Hmmm...

Now away with ye...

Burger King Fail

2010-08-06T20:53:00.002+01:00

So I had an interesting consumer moment in Burger King on O’Connell St today. Basically I went in wanting a burger but nothing else because frankly although Burger King burgers are quite good I find their fries fairly sub-standard and who wants watered-down coke that will only rot your teeth and make you more thirsty? Anyway, a nearby sign advertising a double cheeseburger with small fries and small carbonated beverage for €3.50 caught my attention which inspired me to order a double cheeseburger on its own without the extras. When the cashier (let’s call her Carol) attempted to commit what can only be described as extortion I thanked my lucky stars because inconsistencies like this are what I live for! What follows is the gist of the conversation that took place:

Carol: “What would you like?”
Me: “A double cheeseburger please.”
Carol: “Would you like fries and a drink with that?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Carol: “Ok, that’s €5 please.”
Me: “What?”
Carol: “Yeah it’s cheaper if you get fries and a drink with it.”
Me: “But I don’t want fries and a drink. I just want the burger!”
Carol: “Then that’s €5 please.”
Me: “Well in that case I’ll take a fries and drink but I’ll just throw them in the bin.”
Carol: “What drink would you like?”
Me: “It doesn’t matter because I’m just going to throw it out anyway.”
Carol: “You have to tell me what drink you want.”
Me: “Ok I’ll have a coke please.”
Carol: “Ok that’s €3.50 please.”

I hand over the dosh. Carol hands me a tray with the goods. I pick up the burger and walk away.

Carol (calling after me): “Do you not want your fries?”
Me (over my shoulder): “Give them to someone else!”

The whole episode reminded me of a shop called Fresh in Grand Canal Dock where one can purchase punnets of grapes for €2 each or two for €5. Gas!

Now away with ye...

2010-08-05T20:25:00.001+01:00

Thinking of posting to here a bit more regularly from now on. I will, however, rely heavily on the likes of Dan for inspiration :P

The 'slam of '09

2009-03-24T09:51:00.008Z

Unbelievable. That's all I can say about last Saturday's grandslam showdown between Wales and Ireland at the Millenium Stadium in Cardiff. Everybody saw it and everybody has read about it since in the paper so there is no need to go into specifics. But the day was without doubt one I will remember for the rest of my life. A just reward for a generation of Irish players who have so narrowly missed out on the title in recent years. Sorry to say 'I told you so' but I did say a few years ago that Eddie O'Sullivan should be replaced. Not to disrespect the man, he did a lot of the groundwork in getting this generation of players to where they are today. But it became clear a couple of years ago that he just wasn't the right man to take these guys all the way. Still, all's well that ends well.

Once Ireland had beaten Scotland in their penultimate game of the tournament, one of the biggest issues in my head was that of where and how to watch the grandslam decider the following week. It wasn't long before I decided to attend a day of fun out in Stef's place in Ranelagh. The weekend began on the Friday after work when I rushed home to get ready for a gig I had that night. Although the gig went well (thanks to Lynn, Chops, Eric and their respective mates for attending), I was far too excited about the next day's match to think about anything else. Despite having a lateish night because of the gig, I was up pretty early on matchday. It was like the excitement of Christmas morning when you're a kid! I wanted to keep busy so I decided to engage in some early morning toilet cleaning but not before a smoothie and a veggie juice.

Toilet clean, Ails and I headed out for a Saturday morning bootcamp session in Bushy Park. This turned out to be the perfect way to take my mind off the match. It was at this point that I was grateful for not drinking a drop of alcohol at the previous night's gig much to the astonishment of my band mates. We did burpees, hill sprints, mountain climbs, push-ups and planks not to mention jogging a few laps of the pond and a couple of flights of steps. By the end, I was thinking ahead to a shower and a bit of lunch more than the match.

Once we arrived home, we had barely enough time to eat a couple of tuna salad pitta breads, clean Gregg's cage and watch the end of Italy's embarrassing 50-8 defeat by France. Soon enough we were on our way to the 46A stop; destination - Stef's place. I was up to 90 by this stage and I'm sure I was annoying the hell out of Ali, Wig & Ails on the bus. We stopped off in Spar for a couple of beers once we got off the bus and arrived at Stef's only to find out that she'd just popped out to the shop herself. No problem, we just sat on the wall outside her house drinking beer till she returned. We must have looked slightly unsavoury as anybody walking past her house gave us a wide berth.

Stef arrived back from the shops shortly and let us in. We were up to 5pm now - only thirty minutes till kick off. I was getting really excited now and the prospect of winning up to €480 from the six different bets I had on the game wasn't helping. We all know how the game turned out but I ended up winning one of my six bets (Wales to be ahead at half time and Ireland to win). Not only that but because O'Driscoll scored a try, most of my other stakes were refunded. So I ended up not doing too badly at all.

We celebrated the win with beer and Indian food before heading in to town. Specifically, we headed for a place called Bon Ga on Capel St which is an all-you-can-eat Korean restaurant with karaoke facilities upstairs. Having just had a load of Indian, we headed straight for the karaoke booths. Over the course of the next two hours we screeched out various popular tunes such as Paperback Writer, Bohemian Rhapsody and of course the classic "I'll see you when you get there" from Coolio. Although it was late after this and one or two weren't drinking and wanted to go home, I managed to persuade people to go for at least one more. And so it was that we found ourselves in the Porter House catching the end of White Chocolate's set.

I knew there was no way I could persuade people to stay for more than one in the Porter House, especially with the offer of a free lift home from Emsy, and so I gave in. But not before a lovely chicken kebab courtesy of Zaytoon. A fun night and a great day to be Irish. I also attended the homecoming the next day and although the occassion was a little short and a little flat, it was great to see the boys in the flesh and be part of the crowd to welcome them home.

Now away with ye...

St. Paddy's Day 2009

2009-03-18T16:30:00.006Z

It was a funny one this year. Paddy's Day fell on a Tuesday meaning that we were all off work Saturday and Sunday, back into work on the Monday and then off again on the Tuesday. I opted to go in on the Monday despite the entire rest of my team taking it off. As I sat down at my desk I had to re-assure myself that I hadn't accidentally come in on a Sunday because the office was so quiet. When my alarm went off that morning I wondered why the hell I hadn't just taken the day off however I'm glad now that I worked it and saved a day's annual leave for another time.

Anyway, as we're not students anymore and all have jobs and a new found sense of responsibility we all vowed we'd never have, we decided it would be more prudent to celebrate Paddy's Day the day before giving people all of Paddy's Day to recover. All day drinking on Paddy's Day can only really be undertaken while at college. And so it was that I left work slightly early with the taste of booze already in my mouth. I wanted to head straight to the pub but I don't think others were willing to start that early. So I decided to call in on Clare at her place first and once Joanne and Richie arrived, we were on our way down to the Eagle House in Sandycove.

We were excited at the prospect of being served by our favourite member of staff down there who we've dubbed Pleasing Peter due to his thankful nature. Peter went above and beyond in his serving duties in 2008 and we haven't seen him so far in 2009. We were therefore seriously dismayed when we arrived to find he wasn't working that night.

It was a huge blow to the night's plans but we vowed to work through it and enjoy ourselves all the same. One by one people started to arrive until we eventually had quite a good crew consisting of myself, Clare, Joanne, Richie, Jessica, Goong, Zoe, Aily, Wig, Ali, Damo, Stef, Emsy and Karen. Even Rog and Lynn turned up for a little while. The night wore on with various people buying food at different stages. At one point I noticed an old man's cap hanging on a coat stand. Never one to pass up an opportunity for a bit of craic, I ordered Emsy to swipe the hat and Ali took photos of each of us wearing it one by one.

After last orders had been called, almost everyone headed back to our place. Once there we cranked on the Bob Marley tunes, ordered a couple of ridiculously large pizzas from Mizzonis and played a very rowdy game of Guesstures. Myself and Goong even whipped up a drunken batch of guacamole! I don't know where the time went but all of a sudden it was approaching 4am. Conscious of the neighbours and the fact that Ali had to "work" the next day, we wrapped things up and sent people on their way.

Of course my head didn't initially feel amazing the next morning. However at this stage I am well used to the sensation and have developed a sure fire way of beating the morning after hangover. I hit the kitchen and whipped up a couple of slices of white pudding accompanied by a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. As soon as Wig was up and about we headed to Tesco to buy ingredients for a super large spaghetti bolegnase. While it was simmering nicely on the hob, myself, Wig, Aily and Stef headed for a stroll up Killiney Hill where we met up with Paddy and Damo. The weather was beautiful - sunny and warm - and the walk was just what we all needed.

After the walk, we all headed back to ours to enjoy the scrumptious spaghetti bolegnase with delicious salad and freshly grated parmesan cheese. By the time this was finished, we all felt a little lethargic and headed to the sitting room for the evening. My eyes quickly became heavy and after the latest installment of Jack Bauer and an episode of Australian Immigration I was ready for bed. Wig and Aily were quick to point out that it was only 9.30 but I didn't care. And I certainly appreciated the decision of an early night when I woke up at 6.45 this morning after a whopping 9 hours sleep. Another Paddy's Day gone!

Now away with ye...

2009-03-11T16:31:00.004Z

1st September 2008?! That's over six months ago! I tried to persuade myself that the reason I haven't made any blog entries in that time was because nothing exciting has happened. But plenty of stuff has happened! Here's a rundown of some of the more memorable moments over the last six months.

A week of fun in the Algarve with Aily, Alard, Wig, Stef, Emsy, Clare and Zoe
Roger's 21st where I have never seen so much alcohol imbibed by one individual person in one sitting
Another great Christmas Eve Eve session in the Punchbowl, Booterstown
A couple of sessions over Christmas with Col who was back for a week and a bit
A great New Year's Eve/Dan leaving Gaffbhala party and the second last one ever to be hosted in Gaffbhala
A long weekend away in Eindhoven with the ball of snot
A new job that will hopefully lead to everlasting happiness!

That's it. I really do plan on keeping the blog up to date a bit more. Some upcoming events that could warrant an entry or two are:

Night out on 16th March for Paddy's Day

Last day of 6 nations 2009 which could see Ireland win the tournament for the first time in 25 years

A long weekend away in Berlin with Lenny & Fi - travelling buddies re-united!

A 10km run in the Phoenix Park on 4th April

A trip to Limerick with Aily for Munster's Heineken Cup quarter final clash with Ospreys

A weekend away in Kerry with Niall and Clare

A 2 1/2 week summer holiday in Toronto with Aily to visit Col amongst other things

Now away with ye...

Farewell Electric Picnic Armband

2008-09-01T23:45:00.005+01:00

Two years ago today I attended the third Electric Picnic in Stradbally, Co Laois. It was my first ever music festival and my only one to date. After I passed through the festival security checks I arrived at the gates to the campsite. It was here that I was fitted with a trendy colourful armband for me to wear for the weekend signifying that I was a fully paid-up attendee of the event. The armband was made of some kind of cloth which was the first of its kind I’d ever seen. Normally at events like this you get an irritating plastic armband which you can’t wait to rip off you as soon as it’s no longer needed. Once I arrived back in Dublin after the festival I decided to leave the armband on for a bit as it looked pretty neat.

I guess I never really thought about how long I would keep it on for but time went on and one day I realised I had been wearing the thing for a year. I decided at this time that it was now a challenge to keep the armband on for as long as possible. Soon after the one year anniversary, however, the armband began to go downhill. The colour rapidly faded and the whole thing in general went into a state of decay. Friends and family began to moan about how unhygienic it was but they just didn’t understand. This was my trusty armband that had stuck by me for an entire seven month round-the-world trip.

I remember one particular occasion when I was in hospital having an operation. I was about to go under general anaesthetic when the nurse advised me that no loose jewellery or accessories were allowed in the operating theatre and I would have to remove my armband. I stared at her in disbelief and protested that once the armband was off, it would remain off.
“Well”, she retorted. “It will just have to come off then.”
“Over my dead body”, I thought. I argued with her for about ten minutes and when she realised that I would literally rather not have the operation than to part with my beloved armband, she compromised. I was allowed to keep it on as long as it was taped up with about six layers of masking tape.

However, I was conscious of the fact that the armband was gradually becoming more and more flimsy and so a few months ago I made the decision to cut it off on the second anniversary of the day I was shackled to it. I would like to have seen how long I could keep it on for but I fear that it might get ripped off some day when I wouldn’t notice. What an unfitting end to our journey together that would be! And so, today, the first day of September 2008, the second anniversary of Electric Picnic ’06, I am removing my best friend from my wrist. Below is a list of some of the more memorable moments we’ve shared as well as a couple of pics from the detachment ceremony. May the armband rest in peace in Electric Picnic memorabilia heaven.

Memorable moments shared with the armband
A holiday with 5 friends to Bodrum, Turkey where I took my first scuba dive and danced in drag on a stage in front of several hundred English holidaymakers

The aforementioned operation to have pilo nidal sinus removed from my lower back under general anaesthetic

Riding a horse up a dormant volcano in Banos, Ecuador

Trekking the four day Inca Trail through the cloud forests in Peru to the ancient city of Machu Picchu

Journeying three layers deep into the Cerro Rico mountainside to visit the silver ore mines, the walls of which were thick with asbestos

Exploring the tropical wetlands of Brazil known as The Pantanal

A trip to Ushuaia, Argentina – the southernmost city in the world

A visit to the weird Moai statues of Easter Island, one of the world’s most isolated inhabited islands

Diving to a depth of 18 metres to explore the underwater life of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia

Hiking along a portion of the Great Wall of China

Taking the famous Star Ferry in Hong Kong

Investigating the ancient Temples of Angkor in Cambodia

Struggling to reach the top of highest peak in Indochina – Mt Fansipan, Vietnam

Tubing down Nam Song River in Vang Vieng while enjoying a bottle of refreshing Beer Lao

Partying at the world famous Full Moon party on Haad Rin beach, Ko Phangan, Thailand

Travelling an approximate total distance of 88,975 km (55,287 miles) around the world in seven months

Being part of the great sporting moment that was the Heineken Cup Final 2008 - Munster 16, Toulouse 13

The many trips I took to London in ’07/’08 to visit my girlfriend Aileen

Cruising the River Shannon for three nights with my housemates

Countless booze-fuelled nights out on the town with a variety of very agreeable people

Storm Diving

2008-08-23T01:08:00.003+01:00

One of the main discoveries of my round-the-world trip last year was that I love scuba diving. I had already done a discovery dive in Turkey and liked it but it was only when I got to Australia and completed my Open Water certification that I realised just how much fun it could be. I continued this hobby when I was in Nha Trang, Vietnam and would have completed my advanced diving course in Ko Tao, Thailand were it not for an unfortunate accident involving a bucket of whiskey, 2 puppies, a talking parrot and some sharp rocks. Nonetheless I arrived back in Ireland determined to keep this hobby alive and kicking. Due to a number of reasons that are mainly financial it was only last Saturday, over a year after returning from my trip, that I got it together to book a dive in the freezing cold Irish waters.

Apparently cold water diving is far removed from the tropical paradise diving I was used to on the Great Barrier Reef and in the Gulf of Thailand. As such, divers must take an orientation cold water dive with a dive master before tackling such waters by themselves. It was to this end that we found ourselves booking a cold water shore dive for the morning of August 16^th. We had already planned to undertake this dive a month previously however a bad spell of Irish weather meant that the visibility would have been practically nil and so we opted to postpone it. Thinking that we couldn’t really go wrong booking a dive in the middle of August we went with last Saturday. We figured even if the weather was bad on the surface, how bad could the visibility get?

The first indication I got that the dive might not go quite as planned was at 8am on the Saturday morning. I awoke to the sounds of a howling gale outside and raindrops being blasted against my bedroom window. Uh-oh, I thought. This can’t be good. I looked out my window and sure enough, there was a small, tropical storm going on in the Dun Laoghaire/Rathdown area. I nonetheless got out of bed and gathered my gear together in the hope that the bad conditions wouldn’t prevent the dive from going ahead. It was while I was getting ready that I received a call from my diving buddy Fi who was equally concerned with the weather conditions. Fi had called Ocean Divers (the crowd we were diving with) and had been advised that dives would still be taking place. Fair enough.

I had originally planned to walk the short(ish) distance from my house in Glenageary to Coal Harbour in Dun Laoghaire however that plan was now out the window. I grabbed a tiny, girly umbrella on my way out (I had left my large, manly one on the LUAS a few days previously) which did a pathetic job of keeping me dry. I was lucky that the bus came almost instantly I reached the bus stop but did little to relieve the moisture I had already accumulated in the short walk from my house. I arrived at the Ocean Divers office in plenty of time but pretty soaked. Fi was running late however such is the nature of scuba divers that everything is very relaxed and laid back and nothing runs on time anyway.

After a while hanging around and grumbling about the shocking weather for this time of year, even by Ireland’s standards, we were assigned our Dive Master, Dave, for the morning. Dave helped us to get kitted out with wetsuits, wetjackets, booties, fins, BCDs (Buoyancy Control Devices), regulators, air tanks and weight belts. Because of the torrential rain and force 10 gale it was decided that it would be easier to change into our wetsuits at the Ocean Divers office rather than outdoors at the dive site. And so several minutes later we found ourselves sitting in the front of Dave’s jeep clad in tight, not-very-sexy spandex wetsuits. What made it interesting was that there were three of us in the front of a two-seater jeep! Fi was in the middle, naturally, and whenever Dave needed to change gears, he was required to slip his hand between Fi’s legs to reach the gearstick. I can certainly see the benefits of a two-seater jeep.

When we arrived at our dive site, Scotsman’s Bay, we stayed in the jeep for several minutes while a briefing was held. Dave filled us in on where he planned to take us and what we might expect to see when we’re down there. I found it difficult to concentrate as the jeep was rocking from side to side such was the strength of the storm raging outside. Our spirits were temporarily lifted when Dave spotted a seal in the water. We were told that seals are very friendly and often like to swim alongside divers and play with them.

After the briefing we ventured out into the hurricane to assemble our scuba gear. It was at this point that we realised that Fi had left her BCD at the Ocean Divers office. Disaster strikes! Several solutions to this problem were considered and eventually we decided to ring Willie who was back at the office and would be leaving soon and driving past us to bring along Fi’s forgotten BCD. This idea seemed even better when Willie informed us on the phone that he would be along in five minutes. I now know that Willie is not the most punctual of individuals. I reckon we spent a good 20 minutes standing in the howling gale and lashing rain in nothing but a spandex wetsuit. The thing I found funniest though was that several people passed us walking dogs and jogging. They were staring at us like we were mad. I felt like saying to them “Why are you staring at us? We’re completely protected in our 14mm thick cosy wetsuits. You’re the feckin’ eejits out walking your dogs and jogging in the lashing rain!”

Eventually Willie and the BCD arrived and we were able to get our dive plan back on track. We assembled the gear in record time and painstakingly hauled it down to the steps leading into the sea. Once we had all our gear on and were ready to go, we one by one entered the water. Now I’m usually used to stepping off a boat to get into the water however this time we literally sat on the step leading into the water and waited for a gigantic wave to come and sweep us into the ocean! We floated in the water for a few moments before descending and beginning the dive.

I’ll admit it, I was a bit freaked out. All the diving I’d done previously was in perfectly calm and clear tropical waters. As I descended, I struggled to see my own hand in front of my face. Imagine how difficult it was to keep an eye on where Fi and Dave were. However we got down to about 4.5m and set off on our journey. While I found the dive to be beneficial and a good bit of experience, it was too stressful to enjoy it properly. I constantly had to look around to see where Fi and Dave were. Then I’d look at my air gauge and depth gauge, get caught up in some seaweed and by the time I was free, I’d have to look for Fi and Dave again.

We ploughed on regardless trying to make the most of it until about 20 minutes in, I began floating to the surface for no apparent reason. I tried my best to keep myself down but I just couldn’t stop myself from ascending. I saw Dave disappear from view and I had already lost sight of Fi a few moments earlier. When you’re diving and you lose someone, the procedure is to spend no more than a minute looking for them underwater and then ascend to look for them on the surface. I therefore floated patiently in the stormy sea waiting for the other two to surface. Dave was right behind me and so we had a quick chat where we decided it would be best to head back as the visibility was so poor. We waited for Fi for a couple of minutes and just as I was beginning to get worried, I head her calling from a short distance away. Although Fi was fine and not exactly a million miles away, it was shocking how separated you can get in such a short space of time.

We arrived back at the shore around 15 minutes later and honestly, I was grateful. The bad visibility meant that we couldn’t see anything underwater and any novelty that the weather conditions produced had long since worn off. The most difficult task was still to come though – getting out of the water! I tried to use the large waves to my advantage and get them to sweep me up the steps. Sure enough I managed to get swept up to the first step but as the wave receded, it pulled me back in with it. I clutched and clawed at the next step but just couldn’t manage to pull myself up. The gear on my back which is virtually weightless in the water weighs about 2 tonnes out of the water which didn’t help matters either. Eventually, Dave helped me up out of the water but not before I got my finger lacerated to pieces when a wave smashed me against one of the steps.

We were out of the water but now we had to get dressed in the rain! After a while I had my clothes on but was none the drier for it. The only thing left was the annoying part of diving – rinsing out your gear and stowing it away. We drove back to Ocean Divers and got that done as quickly as possible. Once we’d gotten a stamp in our log books to say we’d completed the orientation dive, we were on our way. Earlier in the week we had made plans to hit the pub after the dive thinking the weather would be nice enough to warrant it. We decided to change those plans somewhat and ended up buying the makings of an epic fry and heading back to my place.

A few hours later we were showered, dry, full and drinking a few cold cans of beer at home while the storm raged on outside. Wig, Rachel and Aileen were all present too and later in the day Ali came home from Portugal to a big surprise. Click here for details! The dive was interesting and I’m glad I did it however I am 100% certain that the next time I do a dive in Irish waters, it will be when the weather is of a sufficient standard to ensure I can at least see what’s in front of me. For all I know, that seal may have been swimming right beside me and I wouldn’t even have known. In fact, it’s likely as Dave reckons he was slapped in the face by the seal’s tail!

Now away with ye…

Clare's 4 easy steps to making up

2008-07-22T23:38:00.002+01:00

Last Thursday Clare and I shared a few pints in the Lincoln Inn with some of my old college mates. On the way there we were having a chat about this and that and somehow the topic of making up after a fight with your girlfriend came up. Clare basically broke the process down into 4 easy to follow steps which she has assured me will guarantee you will be enjoying make up sex in no time. I am now going to share these steps with you. Men - don't bother thanking me. Just send money.

1) Say to your girlfriend "You're right".

2) Say to your girlfriend "I'm sorry".

3) Say to your girlfriend "I'll try not to do it again".

4) Hug your girlfriend (must be genuine)

5) The next day, tell your girlfriend you're sorry again (optional)

NB: For the first few times you don't have to actually be sorry. But if you've already done this a few times, you have to mean it.

Now away with ye...

The Big Boozy Weekend

2008-06-16T18:54:00.004+01:00

What with the one month abstinence from alcohol and the two 3-day detoxes I recently undertook, not to mention all the fresh vegetable juice I've been drinking, I've been on a bit of a health buzz lately. As such, I was due a big boozy weekend and the one just gone was such a weekend. It started as usual at lunchtime on Friday. Once I'd had my lunch, the Friday feeling kicked in and there was no way I was going to be doing any productive work for the rest of the day. I kept things ticking over nicely until 4.30 when I headed for home. I knew I had a fair bit of socialising to do over the next couple of days and so I decided it would be prudent to do a workout before the madness began. By the time I was finished exercising, I could scarecly contain my giddiness and rushed downstairs for the first beer of the weekend. Myself and Wig enjoyed a couple of cans of Tuborg ver a few slices of McCambridge's apricot & cranberry bread with some mashed avocado on top. Shortly after 8pm, we hopped on a bus and headed over to Lia's house in Blackrock. Lia was due to emigrate to London on Sunday and Friday night was her going away drinks.

We stopped off along the way for some brewskies and found Lia's house with much thanks to my old friend Google Maps. As Lia had invited us all around for 8pm, Wig and I figured that turning up at 9 would be sufficiently cool. We didn't want to be the first ones there. Obviously we're far less cool than we thought and even though we were an hour late, we were still the first ones there. Not to worry, it wasn't long before people started to turn up. The beauty of this night was the amount of old Andrew's people who turned up, most of who I hadn't seen in a long time, some of who I hadn't even seen since school finished! Time passed quickly while we had fun chatting to people and catching up. The time came for us to all head into town and my original plan was to hit the Gaeity to see Special Brew. Unfortunately due to a number of reasons, this plan didn't materialise and after a bit of time messing around, I wasn't even in the mood to go out anymore. Wig and Ali (who had joined us at this stage) decided to head in with the rest of them while I opted for a taxi home in order to prepare for the onslaught of Saturday. All the same, I had a really nice evening and it was great to see some of my old schoolmates again.

Saturday began with Dad calling around in the morning to watch Ireland play Australia in the last game of a very disappointing season. Funnily enough, we ended up having countless chances which sadly we just couldn't convert into points on the scoreboard. The final score was 18-12 to Australia and I reckon the Irish boys will be glad at the opportunity to have a bit of rest. Later on in the day, myself and the lads headed into town to check out the street entertainment festival that was on in Merrion Square. We walked around the square observing the various entertainment. A few of the entertainers were impressive however they tended to drag out their acts while telling a few very poor jokes along the way. Just then, we spotted what had to have been the best entertainer of the festival. An Australian guy was performing a series of feats, the first of which was swallowing a long sword. After a quick bow with the sword inside him, he proceeded to the next feat. The man attached a sword to a long horizontal bar with a beer keg attached to each end of the bar. He then swallowed the sword and lifted the two kegs attached to the bar using the hilt of the sword which was resting on his mouth. Unbelievable! For his final trick, the guy decided it would be fun to juggle two knives and some fire while blindfolded on top of a suicycle (very tall unicycle). After a bit of messing around, he finally managed it and it was incredible to watch. Afterwards the guy appealed to the onlookers for donations and I watched in amazement as he collected probably a couple of thousand euro in change from the few hundred people who had been watching him. People were handing him notes and one guy even gave him a fifty!

It was late enough at this stage and we rushed back to the gaff to get ready for Fi's sister's party that evening. It was Fi's actual birthday but it was Maria's birthday a couple of weeks previously. So it was kind of a joint party but with more of an emphasis on Maria. After a few quick showers and a couple more beers we were on our way. We stopped off in Tesco in Stillorgan to purchase some boozy presents for the two birthday girls. Fi's parties have always been good and this one was no different. We were lucky with the weather and got to sit outside with beers and burgers courtesy of Joe Swan. Fi's cousins were all there too including Brizer who we stayed with while in Melbourne last year. We sat, ate, drank and shot the shit. Once the sun went down, we headed indoors to continue the party. At one stage myself, Ali and Fi held a bit of a conference in the upstairs toilet. I've no idea what we talked about but I just remember sitting on the floor of the jax for ages talking to them! The night wore on and at around 4am it seemed logical to crack out the guitars and have a bit of a sing song! This was a little obnoxious seeing as Fi's parents had gone to bed already and late night drunken rowdy singing is not good for those who want to sleep. Also, I had bought a bottle of cava in Tesco earlier. I suddenly remembered about it and went off to find it. I thought I had found
it and I opened it only to find it was completely corked. Then I noticed the label - I had opened a really old bottle of champagne! Luckily it was corked anyway but it could have been disastrous! I soon found the cava though and everything was alright again.

Eventually at around 5.30am myself, Ali and Wig said our goodbyes and ambled up to the N11 to try and find a taxi back to Glenageary Park. By the time we got home, the sun was very much out and Sunday had already begun. I had only one thing on my mind - bed. I awoke around 1pm feeling a bit worse for wear and remembered it was Father's Day. What better way to celebrate the day of Father's and get rid of a hangover than hit the pub? So a short while later I found myself down in the Eagle House with the folks for some afternoon pints. Later on that evening, Fi called round for some post-party analysis and a jam. We jammed out a couple of songs and then retired to the sitting room with a take-away and a funny film. A great relaxing way to finish off a very enjoyable weekend. This weekend I'm off to London (probably for the last time :) and I'm sure there'll be no end to the scandal this time either.

Now away with ye...

The scourge of the morning

2008-06-07T00:25:00.003+01:00

Every morning, I am woken up by my alarm at 7am. I turn over, hit the snooze button and grab an extra 15 minutes of sleep. Once my 7.15 alarm goes off, I’m out of bed and into my dressing gown. I walk downstairs and prepare my morning juice. With my juice in my hand, I head back upstairs and on the way, I turn on the pump for the shower. I spend the next twenty minutes beautifying myself with a shower and a shave and a scuab of the old fiacla. Following this, I quickly get dressed and head to the dart station. This is when I start to get annoyed.

As I approach Glenageary dart station, I am confronted by two young foreigners – one male one female - but both with the same agenda. They both want to burden me with a copy of the daily rag that they are paid to hand out. Yes I’m talking about the Herald AM and the Metro “newspapers” – the scourge of the morning. Actually, the girl who hands out the Metro is fairly cute and I enjoy smiling at her every morning but my mood quickly changes to irritation when she forms a barrier to the entrance of the station with her Herald AM counterpart. The idea is that they make it difficult to enter the station without acquiring one of these rags however I pointedly refuse to accept one – even if the cute girl smiles at me.

But that’s not all! My journey to work from here takes 30 minutes and over the course of that half hour I am presented with the same problem three more times. Once at the exit of Grand Canal Dock station, once at Baggot St Bridge and yet again outside my place of work on Baggot St. When I board the dart, I am frequently required to move copies of the “newspapers” off a seat in order to sit down. As the dart fills up, the rags are moved to the floor and by the time the train arrives in town, a massive amount of litter has accumulated throughout the carriages. Some people elect to take the rag with them off the dart however this only defers the problem to a different time and place. The rubbish bin at the exit to Grand Canal Dock station is constantly overflowing with the rags. As people walk by and see that the bin is full, they simply toss the paper on the ground. I’ve even seen one guy discard his papers on the ground surrounding the bin only to acquire new ones five seconds later from the distributors standing outside the station!

Aside from the massively unnecessary number of these rags floating around the city each morning, I have a problem with the content. I mean it would be one thing handing out all these papers if something substantial and good was contained inside but nothing could be further from the truth. The level of reporting in the Metro and Herald AM is absolute bottom of the ladder journalism. In fact, I don’t think it even qualifies as journalism. www.iclasses.org defines journalism as ‘a style of writing for presenting bare facts to describe news events’. Bare facts?! That’s a laugh! I think if anyone were to read any of the “articles” in the morning rags with any kind of scrutiny, they will find that bare facts have been replaced with sensationalised nonsense and silly captions that would be more at home in a childrens’ book. These papers are nothing but a collection of short words in large font with some bright pictures for people to look at. Very often, sentences don’t even make sense. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t hold the Sun or the Star in any higher regard. But at least at least the people who read these are paying for their own rubbish. In the case of the Metro and Herald AM, the papers are forced on us for free each morning and we read them because we have nothing else to do on the way to work.

Well a long time ago I decided I wasn’t going to be subjected to this crap. I always bring a book with me to read on the dart and if I ever want to find out what’s happening in the news, I buy an Irish Times which is on sale just inside the door of Glenageary dart station. I am shocked at how many people read the tripe contained in the pages of these rags. People who otherwise command respect in society lower themselves each morning to a level beyond comprehension. And what about the kids? Every morning dart contains large numbers of school kids, most of who are also reading one of these papers. What are these kids going to grow up to be like if they keep reading this stuff? My old Leaving Cert English teacher, Ms. Duff had a way of dealing with it. Whenever she caught someone in the year reading a rag like the Sun or the Star or the Mirror, she would grab it off them, tear it to shreds and tell the student they would be in big trouble if she caught them reading that rubbish again. That was before the days of the Metro and the Herald AM but I have no doubt that she is equally as appalled by this scourge as I am.

In addition to the litter caused by these papers and the complete crap inside that they call news, I can only imagine the energy wasted on producing them. In an age where we are supposed to be as green as possible and reduce our carbon footprint, here we have two companies printing out tens of thousands of sheets of paper a day. And for what? So we can have our news dumbed down for us and be spoon fed it like children. So that tomorrow’s generation think that short words in big font together with a bright picture and a “clever” caption is news? For the four week period between 31/3/08 and 27/4/08, the Metro produced twenty issues averaging 75,805 individual papers a day. If each paper contains 30 pages that’s over 2.25 million pages produced every working day. If ever there was a contributor to global warming…

I urge people to do everything they can to stop this madness. There is no good at all that can come from the production of the Herald AM and the Metro. If enough people boycott them, maybe finally they will be shut down. Let’s all work towards a city where trying to catch a train or bus doesn’t mean being accosted from either side by rag pushing fiends. Or where people’s knowledge of current affairs does not stem from sensational claptrap. Let’s purge the scourge!

3 day detox

2008-06-05T18:36:00.003+01:00

4th June 2008 10.00am
Today I embarked on a three day detox program which involves consuming only juice for the duration. I bought a juicer about a month ago and since then I’ve had a vegetable juice every morning for breakfast. Now I’ve decided to go all out and have nothing but fresh juice for three days.

The first thing I had to do was make sure I had everything I need. Yesterday I called into my friendly local fruit and veg supplier in the Dun Laoghaire Shopping Centre. She sorted me out with plenty of carrots, apples, broccoli, spinach, peppers, celery, cucumbers, beetroot, ginger and lemons. The final thing I needed was a flask that I could bring juice to work in – preferably one that would keep the juice cool until lunchtime. Tesco helped me out in this respect and at the expense of only €10.

I realised that I wasn’t going to be able to drink alcohol for the three days either (tough when the last day is a Friday and the temptation will be huge!), so I hit the rooftop terrace of the Eagle House in Sandycove last night for a few creamy ones with Wig and Clare. I woke up this morning, not quite in the state of mind I had hoped for day one but nonetheless I dutifully hauled myself out of bed and began juicing.

My first juice of the day involved carrots, apples, broccoli, lemon, cucumber, celery, beetroot and half a yellow pepper. I made a double batch and had half for breakfast and transferred the other half to my new flask which had been chilling in the fridge over night. This is going to be my lunch however the detox program I’m following requires that you have another juice in the late afternoon between lunch and dinner (aka linner). So I made up this juice as well and stuck it in a 1L Ballygowan bottle although there was far less of it than the breakfast and lunch juice. The idea is to top it up with water to make a full litre which I’ll do at work.

So off I set this morning with my little backpack containing my flask of lunch juice and my bottle of linner juice. I’ve already spent an hour at work and things don’t seem to be going too bad at all. I’m glad I’m not a coffee drinker as I imagine this is the point where I’d be suffering from caffeine withdrawal symptoms. However, I am under no illusions that by 11 or 12 o’clock I’ll be in a very hungry place. I’ll let you know how I get on!

2.45pm
I’ve just had my lunchtime juice and I’m still alive! I’m actually feeling very refreshed and energised. As expected, I got very hungry around mid-morning. I feared for my ability to make it all the way to lunch without eating and so I headed up to the canteen and got myself a smoothie with strawberries, blackberries, a banana and some orange juice in it. That definitely kept me ticking over until lunchtime when I gladly consumed the second half of the juice I made for breakfast. I am also pleased to report that the tesco flask works a charm. My lunch juice was as cold as it would have been had it been in the fridge all morning.

It’s now approaching 3 o’clock and I’m in a great position to finish the working day without consuming anything that isn’t juice. I’m still full from my lunch juice and I also have my linner juice to go. So I reckon I’ll crack that out at around 4pm. My biggest concern at this point is whether I’ll have the energy to complete a workout when I get home this evening. I’m sure I’m getting plenty of nutrients from all the veggie juice however a lack of carbs could make for a difficult work out. I’ll report back later with my findings!

5th June 2008 4.00pm
Well I’m halfway through my second day of the detox and I must say I feel great! It’s definitely doing a good job of flushing out my system. Last night I decided that doing a full workout would do more harm than good and so I gave it a miss. Instead I made myself a smoothie for dinner that involved mixing veggie juice with an avocado in a blender. I was surprised at how good it actually tasted! Especially since there was an entire bag of Kale involved. It filled me up and I went to bed pretty content.

This morning I had a treat in store for me. The breakfast for day two of the detox program is a delicious fruit smoothie with raspberries, blueberries and natural yogurt among other things. This was far more filling than my breakfast yesterday and I made it all the way to lunchtime without feeling any pangs of hunger. I enjoyed my lunchtime juice and am just about to start into my linner juice for day two.

The curious thing about the detox is that although I’m not actually feeling hungry, I’m craving solid foods. Not necessarily junk food but just something solid. I find it odd that I want food even though I’m not really hungry. Still, I’ve decided to opt out of the detox slightly early. I will stay on nothing but juice until the end of work tomorrow at which point I will be meeting Fi for some food, a few pints and a gig. I’m sure cutting the detox short by just a few hours won’t reduce the overall benefit by much. In any case, I’ve only recently completed a one month abstinence from alcohol so I don’t feel a need to repeat that feat so soon.

5^th June 2008 4.00pm
Bloody hell! I was doing great until last night and feeling really good about myself. I was feeling very refreshed and flushed out and impressed with my ability to endure two full days without food. Until Emsy dropped over. The first thing I noticed before I saw or heard her was the smell. The unmistakable smell of a dominos pepperoni pizza. Not only that but she had under her arm a massive box of Belgian chocolates which were for me in return for saving her and her mum from a killer bird a few weeks previously.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t actually hungry. But as I said yesterday, I was craving solid foods and as I watched Emsy begin munching into her pizza, I started salivating uncontrollably. But then to make things worse, Wig decided that he was going to have a pizza too! So just as Emsy was finished hers, Wig started into his own. And as a final test of my discipline, a few cold beers were cracked open for good measure. I can tell you now that I resisted. It was tough, but I did it. Even when I heard that beautiful kh-ksh sound when a cool can of beer is opened, I still resisted. I can only marvel at my new-found willpower.

I woke up this morning in great spirits, delighted that I hadn’t given in to my cravings the previous evening. I made my way downstairs and made a bumper batch of juices to keep me going all through breakfast, brunch, lunch and linner. I’m currently enjoying my brunch juice but very much thinking ahead to this evening when I’ll be indulging in a good meal and a few pints.

8^th June 2008
I’m happy to report that the detox was a resounding success. I went from Tuesday morning to 7pm on Friday evening on nothing but juices. To celebrate, I met up with Fi after work. After a couple of pint in Bruxelles we hit Wagamama’s for my first solid meal in 3 days. I had a delicious vegetable and chicken noodle dish with the odd duck dumpling on the side. It was great! After the meal we headed on to Andrew’s Lane Theatre where Fi had us on the guest list for ‘Those Dancing Days’, an all-girl Swedish electro-rock group. It was a really good evening and I didn’t go too crazy opting for the last bus home. Sure I had to be up early the next morning to watch Ireland get beaten by New Zealand.

Although the detox was difficult in parts, it really does work and completely cleanses and flushes out your body. I recommend it for anybody who feels they need to detox their system. You could even just do it for one or two days if you didn’t want to do the full whack. I imagine it would also be good after a heavy period of boozing and eating such as Christmas or a holiday. Yep, if feeling good and a cleaned out system is what you’re looking for, juicing is the way to go.

Farewell Kev!

2008-05-29T22:37:00.008+01:00

Phew! Last night I got a late invitation to drinks in town with Kev, Dan and Denis. I gladly accepted the invitation as it was Kev’s last night before heading to Clifden for the summer and I hadn’t seen Dirty Denis in about 18 months. The plan was to meet in The Temple Bar at 10pm but of course when I arrived at 10.10, I was the only one there. I wasn’t too put off mind you and purchased a creamy pint of Guinness while I waited for the boys. The Temple Bar was jammed with tourists, many of them American and I quietly surveyed the scene while sipping my pint and listening to the ludicrously loud trad band. Denis was the first to turn up and I barely recognised him with all the facial hair. He looked like Kevin Bacon! We purchased more pints and soon got talking to some randomers. The randomers turned out to be Danielle, Meghan and Travis. Danielle was from Windsor, Ontario and the others were from Florida.

As talking progressed and Dan also arrived, I let slip that Col is currently living in Toronto, not too far from Windsor. Danielle, being a crazy Canadian, insisted on getting in touch with Col. Always the match-maker, I promptly texted Col with a message from Danielle. As was to be expected, Col’s response was ‘Who… What?’. I move on from that topic and decided to question Travis as to how he got nasty looking cuts all over his face. I was expecting some big tale of courage and bravery and more courage where he intervened on a situation where a woman was being attacked by a big guy with a knife. Unfortunately, the truth was far less exciting. It turns out he was attempting to give Danielle a piggy-back and in doing so, fell forward and cut his face open! I advised him that in future he concoct a much more masculine story and forget the real explanation.

When I had given up trying to persuade the Canadian and Americans that Denis looked like Kevin Bacon and Dan looked like Gary Sinise, I decided to make tracks. I had intended to take the last bus home at 11.30 however due to the late arrival of the boys, it wasn’t really going to happen. I did however have every intention of catching the first vomit comet at 12.30, which I did. On my way home I realised that I didn’t have my house key. I texted each of the three lads I live with to unlock the front door before they went to bed. I of course forgot that they were all already in bed and later found out that they had all got out of bed to unlock the front door for me, only to meet each other in the hall. Each one thought they were the only one who got the text!

It’s the next day and I’m positively wrecked. I am still easing myself back into a drinking buzz following a four week abstinence. The weekend just gone was a drinking disaster however I did manage to have four pints last night and not get too bad. However despite this, I’m in a very lethargic place right now and am looking forward to a good sleep tonight. But not before a delicious chicken korma first!

Now away with ye…

Munster - Rugby Champions of Europe 2008

2008-05-27T23:55:00.009+01:00

Last weekend I attended the Heineken Cup Final 2008 between Munster and Toulouse. In short, the experience was incredible. Following is an account of the weekend, one of most memorable of my life.

I left work at the usual time of 5pm on Friday 23^rd May 2008. Except this time I had a bit more of the Friday feeling than usual. I was finally on my way to Cardiff for the European Rugby Cup Final between Munster and Toulouse. I had bought tickets way back before the season began and Munster had come a long way, fighting to come top of the pool of death and beating both Gloucester and Saracens in away quarter and semi finals respectively. Now they faced the giants of European rugby, Toulouse, in a very fitting end to their European Cup campaign.

My excitement heightened as I passed through security and noted that the vast majority of travellers that evening were dressed in red Munster jerseys sporting the familiar white Toyota text. As I approached my gate, it became clear to me that supporters were trying to get to anywhere at all in the UK that they could, regardless of distance from Cardiff. I presumed they would later worry about getting to Cardiff from Glasgow, Newcastle or Manchester or wherever they were flying to. It never ceases to amaze me how determined Munster fans are to get to a match.

In my case, I was flying to London. I had purchased plane tickets back in March when it was definite that Munster had topped the pool stages. At that point, air tickets to Cardiff were already sold out and tickets to nearby Bristol were averaging over €200 each way. There was no way I could afford that and so I opted for a set of €20 each way tickets to London Gatwick. I planned to stay with Aileen on the Friday night and head to Cardiff on a coach on the Saturday morning. Even with the added cost of getting to Aileen’s place in Blackheath by train and the return coach ticket to Cardiff, the total cost of travel was nowhere near what it would have been if I’d flown to Cardiff or Bristol.

So off I went and arrived at Aileen’s later that night with no problems other than the usual one hour flight delay. The only task of importance that needed to be performed that night was to wash my Munster jersey and a few other clothes. I had failed to dry my washed clothes for the weekend and so I brought my bag of laundry to work on Friday with the intention to get it tumble dried at a laundrette during the day. Unfortunately the laundrette was too busy to do it and I was forced to bring the clothes to the UK with me. By the time I arrived at Aileen’s, the washed clothes were smelly from a day and a half of being in a plastic bag and so I had to wash the whole lot again. However, as you will soon find out, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

At 7.30 in the morning, Aileen and I woke up and set off on the journey to Cardiff with my bag of freshly washed clothes! First we took a train from Westcombe Park to London Bridge. From there we were able to get the tube to Victoria Coach Station where we grabbed a connecting coach to Cardiff. By the time we arrived at Victoria Station, we were running slightly late and couldn’t find our coach. After a few seconds glancing around the bus station however, it was obvious which coach was ours. It was the one with a massive line of people waiting to get into it – all wearing red Munster jerseys. Great stuff! I even bumped into Thom, a bloke Fi and I met while travelling around Bolivia last year.

The coach ride was fun with a great atmosphere inside it albeit a lack of air conditioning. There was even the odd French person on the bus although they weren’t wearing Toulouse jerseys. The journey was scheduled to take 3 hours and 15 minutes and we were only thirty minutes late arriving in Cardiff due to a massive queue for the toll bridge just outside the city. As soon as we arrived we were treated to a spectacle like none other. The sun was blazing down on a glorious day in Wales. The streets were jam-packed with Munster supporters and plenty more were spilling out of the pubs. It was only 1pm and everybody seemed to be drunk already!

I got in touch with a friend of my cousin Richard who we were renting an apartment from and we grabbed a cab to meet him. Once he had given us the key and showed us around we swiftly freshened up by having a shower only to discover there were no towels! It seemed we were destined for an intense drip-dry session when I suddenly remembered that the random bag of laundry I’d been carrying around included a towel! Not a big one mind you but enough to do the job. One quick bottle of champagne later and we were in a cab again, travelling back towards the stadium. By this stage, the inner city streets had been closed off to traffic and the taxi driver dropped us as close to the stadium as he could. This suited us fine as it gave us an opportunity to do a bit of walking around and soak up the atmosphere.

The scene on the streets was even better than two hours previously. The crowds were bigger, redder and rowdier. A crowd had a rugby ball and were kicking it as high as they could into the air. It was the responsibility of the person who caught it to kick it back up again for somebody else to catch – that’s if it didn’t land on your head! At one stage, the ball went to ground and about 6 people dived on it. It looked messy but eventually one guy came up tops and hoofed the ball over a building. There was a large noisy groan from the crowd who were disappointed their game had been cut short. However, several seconds later the ball appeared from the other side of the building and landed in the middle of the crowd. Of course this was immediately followed by a loud Irish cheer.

I’d been texting my Uncle Mike a bit that morning as he was also travelling up from London on the train with two of my cousins. Although it was approaching an hour before kick off, we headed to a bar to meet up with them briefly. Soon after that we were on our way inside the stadium. We were in section U34 which is fairly high up about halfway between one of the try lines and the 22-metre line. We climbed up and up and up and all the way we could hear the booming crowds from inside the stadium. Eventually we got to U34 and as we stepped out we were awed by an incredible sight. The stadium was only half full at this stage but already the noise and colour were breath-taking. I was also pleased to note that our seats were actually at the front of section U34 and not as far back as I thought. The only disappointment was that the stadium roof was closed despite the fact that it was a glorious day outside.

Aileen wanted to queue for a couple of drinks so I left her to it and headed for my seat to soak up the pre-match atmos. As I took a better look around the stadium, I realised I could not see a single Toulouse supporter. Of course, this was made difficult by the fact that the Toulouse jersey is also red however I still expected to see a few. I couldn’t even hear any Toulouse chants. The lack of opposition supporters was further emphasised when the MC announced each Munster and Toulouse player one by one. At one point, the MC called out Ronan O’Gara’s name which was greeted by a deafening roar. Immediately following this, O’Gara’s Toulouse counterpart was announced - Jean-Baptiste Elissalde. Although Elissalde would be a highly respected and experienced French rugby player, there was a barely audible murmur in response to his name.

Aileen arrived back with the drinks just in time for kick-off and things got going. In retrospect, the game panned out pretty much as it was always going to. The first 20-30 minutes, Toulouse appeared to have the edge. They had all the possession and were making all the attacks. However, they never really threatened the Munster line and it became clear that Munster were trying to wear Toulouse down – and it was working. Once they had lowered the French team’s confidence to the desired level, Munster turned things up a notch and moved into attack mode. From this point on, Toulouse never really had a chance.

The try came shortly enough before half time. Toulouse had a scrum on their own line however such was the standard of Munster’s scrummaging that day that the Toulouse number 8 picked the ball out of the scrum, only to be immediately greeted by Tomas O’Leary and Alan Quinlan. The Toulouse player was buried and the scrum awarded to Munster. Several passages of pick and play followed Munster’s resulting scrum and a short while later, Denis Leamy was being driven over the line by Donncha O’Callaghan and Alan Quinlan. The score would have been 10-3 to Munster at half time had it not been for a Toulouse penalty late in the first half.

The second half continued with Munster busy locking the game down. They were ahead and they were going to make it stay that way with a little help from the supporters who were by now launching into the umpteenth rendition of ‘The Fields of Athenry’. About half way through the second half, Cedric Heymans threw a small spanner in Munster’s works when he performed a beautiful double chip and chase to get past Munster’s otherwise impenetrable defence which resulted in a Toulouse try. It was the only piece of play of note from Toulouse and it came down to a tricky manoeuvre that it takes a player of Heymans’ stature to pull off. The last ten minutes were as nail biting as ever for a Munster game but finally, Munster were awarded a penalty and the final whistle sounded. Full time. Munster were champions of Europe again with a score of 16-13.

At this point, the reason for the closed roof became clear. Once the Toulouse players had accepted their medals and quietly slipped off to the dressing room, the main floodlights were turned off and an atmosphere of suspense was created by blue and red spotlights. The medals and cup were awarded to the sound of screaming fans and some fireworks but unfortunately we were on the wrong side of the stadium to see properly. The players did however do a lap of honour, pausing at each section for the fans to get a good look and take some photos.

After a while, Aileen and I slipped off to do some celebrating with the 60,000 estimated other Munster supporters in the city. Alas, the celebrations were not to turn out as expected. I had been off the booze for four weeks at this stage and I severely underestimated my lack of tolerance for alcohol. That’s not to say that I drank a particularly large amount, but it meant that a few hours later, I was far too lethargic to be doing anything and we headed home at around midnight. Slightly disappointing but it didn’t at all take away from the magnificence of the day.

Thanks to my newfound lack of tolerance for alcohol, I awoke the next day with an unusually heavy hangover. Thankfully, I had little to do other than travel that day. Once we’d settled up with Richard’s friend for the apartment, we headed into the city for an onwards journey to London and then on to Dublin for me. One of the main things I noticed about the city the next morning was the cleanliness. As you can see in some of the photos below, the streets were utter carnage by the time we left them after the match. By the next morning, the place was spotless. The officials have obviously got the clean-up operation down to a tee.

It was a great weekend, one of the best of my life and certainly not one I’ll ever forget. Talk about something to tell the Grandkids! Tickets are already on sale for the Heineken Cup Final 2009 but I’m not sure if buying them this early would be tempting fate! Photos to follow below real soon.

Now away with ye...

Blog Resumes!

2008-05-27T23:30:00.003+01:00

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog. It's been a while since I've updated this blog as I had a seperate one going for a while when I was travelling the world. For those interested, the blog is still available at http://grumstravels.blogspot.com. Previously, this blog was intended to keep a record of drunken nights out. The keen observer will note that from now on it will not be limited to this genre. I'm not sure how frequently I'll update the blog, I suppose as often as I feel like. My decision to re-open this blog came following a few postings on our gaff website http://www.gaffbhala.com. After writing a long posting for the gaff site, I realised it would be handy to get this blog up and running again. So here it is! Hope you like it.

Now away with ye...

Speaking of breaking limbs…

2006-07-11T07:53:00.001+01:00

That’s the one. So after finishing my first full week of work in months I was needless to say a tad thirsty. I lashed home on the auld bicycle and after grabbing a quick bite and a shower I headed straight for the 40ft – The pub, not the swimming venue. Col was already there – good man – waiting for me at a table outside. I ordered a Becks Vier and sat down. While waiting for others to turn up I noticed Ron Atkinson walking towards us and into the bar. Col’s ranting that the guy looked nothing like Ron Atkinson can be attributed to his poor eyesight since we all know how good I am at identifying faces. Needless to say we both agreed that the waitress did look something like Katie Holmes. Soon I noticed two girls wandering around in what can only be described as promotional attire. Never one to pass up an opportunity to get something free I demanded to know what they were promoting. It appears that had I arrived earlier, I could have purchased a Grolsch and gotten a free burger or hot dog. Still it took only a minimal amount of sweet talking to persuade the promoter to give me a spare burger hanging around if I bought a Grolsch. I happily obliged and also filled out a card with my personal details in an attempt to win a BBQ from a draw. The draw occurred only moments later and the feckin girl came right up to me, looked into my eye and said “We have a winner!” Then she looked out to the table beside me and read out the winner’s name – Philip somebody. Talk about rubbing it in! Not too impressed at losing out to the guy sitting beside me I began to persuade myself that I didn’t want the BBQ anyway and that the BBQ itself was actually crap.

Soon Ems and Clare arrived and we moved inside as it was getting chilly and moving inside was inevitable and better to do it when there were seats still available inside. Slightly miffed that three whole sections of the pub were reserved for private parties on a Friday night we took a high table with several stools around it. We had the conversation about Turkey which is our primary reason for being there and having got that matter out of the way we proceeded with the Friday night boozing. A lot of people from Clare’s course ended up there too as well as Zoe and Jessica. Emsy was on flying form as usual with more quotes than I care to remember! One that springs to mind was her blurting out seemingly randomly “I’d love to milk a cow!” There was also the most incredibly random segueing, the details of which I can’t quite remember. Unfortunately neither does Col and so those details are more than likely lost forever. It was something like we were talking about someone breaking their arm and then Ems says “Speaking of broken limbs…” and then launched into a COMPLETELY different topic of conversation. If anyone has any further information on this point please let me know? Soon the group had reduced to Clare, Col, Ems, Zoe and I and we decided to head back to Ems’ Dad’s place where her sister Kate was having a party. Kate etc… were in The Coast and so we had to go there to obtain keys for the house. Clare drove and when we arrived at The Coast somebody got out meeting Kate to get the keys. I assumed it was Ems who had gone to meet her and seeing Kate herself walking towards the car I made some comments that weren’t intended for Emsy’s ears. Alas it appears it was Clare and not Ems that had gone to meet Kate and Ems was still in the back of the car. This was not to be the last slip of my tongue of the night. Before heading to Ems’s Dad’s place we had to stock up on the auld alcomohol. Col and I went into the Off License to get the stuff and I swore I saw Sophie, Zoe’s sister in there. As it turns out it wasn’t but we only discovered this after I exclaimed “Sophie!” and the girl had turned around. Finally it was onto out final destination.

The place clearly used to belong to a drug dealer as it was totally pimped out with a pole for pole dancing and everything. We set ourselves up on the downstairs level with out beers and had the banter. A good while later, Kate and her mates arrived back from The Coast. Disaster struck! As one of her friends was coming down the stairs, I thought to myself “Is that a guy or a girl?” Soon everybody was looking at me funnily and I realized with horror that I had said it out loud. I desperately tried to apologise but in doing so I dug the hole further and further. Then came the crushing blow. Clare apologised on my behalf on account of my drunkenness which made me furious. As many of you know the one way to get me angry is to say things like “Oh don’t worry about him, he’s drunk” or “Graham, you’ve a little too much to drink. Calm down”. This will have the opposite effect and enrage me further. Once this incident occurred, all hopes of enjoying the rest of the night were dashed. I stayed for a while longer but not being able to enjoy myself I eventually walked home around 4.15. By the time I reached Kilbogget Park, it was so late/early that it was as bright as day and so I was able to walk through it without fear of drug dealers pouncing on me. A disappointing end to an otherwise enjoyable evening.

Now away with ye…

Byron's Big Bad BBQ

2006-07-07T17:58:00.001+01:00

I was working off a serious lack of sleep. Claire and Lisa had stayed over the night before and after getting to sleep around 9am I awoke at 12pm feeling perfectly rested and perky. Of course this feeling was short lived and I began to fade in the early afternoon. Although the house was in a mess, the luxury of my parents being away meant I was able to defer the cleaning to another unspecified point in the future. I watched England getting knocked out of the world cup which is always good and then headed to Byron’s for a BBQ. Earlier in the day I sounded Byron out about bringing food and drink and he assured me that if I were to bring drink I would be well looked after on the food front. Bearing that in mind, I set off at 7 with a 10 pack of bottled Bavaria and a six pack of canned Bavaria. Good old Dublin Bus pulled through once more and I and Cakes (who I had met at the bus stop) were waiting for well over an hour. By the time we arrived at Byron’s it was almost 9pm! Still I was well up for a beer at this stage and cracked into them before you could say BYRN! Perhaps it was due to the late arrival of my bus but I somehow always suspected that Byron’s claims of there being enough food for everyone were a bit sketchy. Sure enough as I arrived, the last of the burgers and sausages were being polished off. Never mind though, I stuffed a pitta bread full of re-fried beans and salsa and it kept me ticking over. The vibe was nice and relaxed, perfect considering the night I had before. Had a good auld chat with Sam re things like Mr. McCaughan, Theoretical Physics, Karima and pelvis-cracking!

Soon Col and Aily turned up and at about 2am it was only us three and Byron left. We figured we had outstayed our welcome and headed back to mine in Aily’s car for more fun and games. As usual we stopped off at the Esso and this time it was Col’s turn to make a scene. He found himself stood in front of the household accessories section and felt compelled to buy a pack of rubber bands on the strength of them being of price code ‘G’. Back at the gaff we George Foremaned some delicious looking sausage things that Aily had bought in a random shop but unfortunately the reality turned out to be quiet different. They were minging! Even Roger coming home in a drunken hungry state at 6.30am couldn’t manage to eat one! Col with his general lack of respect for taste didn’t even try one and while Aily and I were force feeding ourselves these sausages, Col was busy covering himself in the rubber bands he bought. He covered his arms and legs with them before getting bored and ripping them off in his usual drunken violent manner. Then Col and I skanked it up in the kitchen to a couple of madness tunes before retiring to the living room for drinks and chat. Eventually I threw Col into the spare room and we all went to bed. Nice.

Now away with ye…

Final Results

2006-07-07T17:53:00.001+01:00

I had spent the last week chilling with my folks and bro in hot and sunny Barcelona. Upon arrival home in Dublin I was greeted by my exam results. Although the results were ones to be pleased about, the week of debauchery in Barcelona left me with feelings of fatigue and not wanting to go out. I reluctantly took up Aideen’s invitation, via Fi, to her party (The reluctance was on account of my aforementioned fatigue rather than any lack of will). I presumed that once I got there and cracked into one or two brewskis I would liven up as is usually the case however I still only planned to stay for a couple of hours. I should never have expected to get away with not going out on the night of getting our exam results and it wasn’t long before I was getting calls from multiple members of my class insisting that I go out. Far be it from me to disappoint and so I caught the last bus into town from Aideen’s.

The first stop was in Hogan’s on George’s St. to meet Claire and Lis. By the time I had arrived they had already been approached by two blokes! Unfortunately it seemed the blokes weren’t making much headway because as soon as I arrived, the two girls jumped at the opportunity to run out to the atm and leave me all alone with the two random blokes. This wasn’t so bad since they were both good craic however this trip to the atm turned out to be a half an hour sightseeing tour of Dublin! In the end I had to call them and tell them to get their asses back to the pub. In the meantime, I had discovered that one of the fellas, an Americano-Italio, was a jazz guitarist. Being in a slightly less than sober state I was seriously impressed and after showing great interest in his gig on Monday I gave him my number. He promised he would text me to remind me the whereabouts and time of his gig because as we all know memory isn’t my strong point! So the guys got bored waiting for Claire and Lis and headed off before they got back leaving me on my own for a few minutes. During this time I spotted a girl behind the bar who I was sure I had seen somewhere before. I approached her and asked her had she been to any Present Arms gigs since she looked like the ska type. The answer was no. Just then, Claire and Lis returned. After a while chatting to the girls I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked around and who do I see? None other than Colleeeeee! Amazed that he would coincidentally turn up at the same pub as me I asked him how he knew I was in Hogan’s. It turns out, rather embarrassingly, that I had texted him not 10 minutes earlier telling him we were in Hogan’s and completely forgotten! Oh Dear. It was at this point I got an inkling that the night might not be the short couple of drinks I had originally intended. More evidence of memory loss presented itself when my phone alerted me to a new text message. It was from JennieFlynn and although I could remember texting her a few minutes previously, the body of the message was beyond my memory recall abilities. Thanks to a further inability to access my sent messages folder to see what I actually had written, I was forced to simply reply and admit that I couldn’t remember my original message.

Unfortunately Col wasn’t in a position to hang around and so as he left, the two girls and I headed for The Palace *groan* to meet up with more MSISS heads. As usual, going to the palace resulted in nothing but bother and agro. For a start it was full. Then Lisa’s sister was passing cloakroom armbands through the fence to us so we could try and get in. I was extremely against this as The Palace is never worth arguing with a bouncer for. Still we tried and Lisa got in but Claire and I were not so lucky (or unlucky if you ask me). So Claire and I were off to down under and for a while it seemed like the night was going nowhere. Just then we bumped into Clare and Mark and after a good chat with them, Lisa called advising us to return to the palace. Since down under wasn’t letting any more people in either we figured we had nothing to lose. Amazingly, this time it worked! All of a sudden we found ourselves upstairs in the palace with Si, Redser, Derek and Rob. Despite a severe lack of respect for The Palace it was good to see come of the class. At this stage it was close to closing time and it wasn’t long before we were kicked out by bouncers. Not a minute to soon if you ask me!

After a long time arseing about on Leeson St, I decided that I was going for the 4am 84N and I was taking the girls with me. At first they were reluctant but I soon won them over with my boyish charm ;) We only just made the bus and on it we met Cakes and Zoe on their way back from a night in Fitzsimon’s. When we got off the bus we dropped by the Esso. Lisa picked up a pack of Phileas Fogg and was at the counter when she decided she needed dip. Mild salsa dip. Aware of causing a scene I quickly located a jar of Phileas Fogg mild salsa. “No No No!”, Lisa exclaimed. “Take it back! I don’t want it.” I tried reasoning with her that it was mild salsa dip just as she had requested but it was no use. Lisa only wanted Doritos brand salsa. Sheesh! I never knew she was such a salsa connoisseur. I reckoned it was time to get her out of there ASAP and after grabbing a couple of pizzas we departed for my gaff. On the way we bumped into Cakes again having a ‘moke outside his gaff and took him along for the ride too. On the walk to mine, Lisa entertained us by talking about her Chinese colleagues. The conversation was too funny yielding such quotes as “They’re deadly at cleaning in Taylor’s. They clean under the floorboards because they’re so dedicated to Taylor’s” and “Chen is lovely but Ying has acne!” Obviously I can’t remember their real names so just replace Chen and Ying with arbitrary Chinese names.

Back at mine, I scoured the house for beer. I managed to rustle up 8 bottles and together with the pizzas and phileas fogg made a nice snack. The most logical thing to do seemed to be to call everyone in our class even though it was well after 5.30. Only Ronan answered (tit!) but was happy enough to engage in lengthy talks with myself, Lisa and Claire, possibly even Cakes too (unconfirmed). I do feel slightly bad about calling Rob’s house phone though knowing him he some tracking satellite and knew it was us calling even before we dialed the number. After watching VH1 for a while we put on Shaun of the Dead. At this stage it was late (or early!) and very bright and we were all fading by the end. At 8.30 it was bed time so I kicked Cakes out, put Lisa up in the spare room and left Claire on the couch. Graham Thomas, B.A. (Mod) :)

Now away with ye…

Friday 9th June - FREEDOM!!!

2006-06-13T19:50:00.000+01:00

I hadn't slept in days. Partly from studying and partly from the sheer excitement at the prospect of being college forever. Sure enough the day finally came and I could barely sit still in the exam when the invigilator announced there was only 40 minutes of the exam left. Once it finished I just couldn't get to the Pav quick enough! But first we went to centra for a crate and another coors light cooler. Finally we got down to some drinking in the pav. Clare and her mates were there as well as half of MSISS. Col turned up shortly before two. I was half way through my 4th can when I got a call from Bank of Ireland telling me I'd got the job I went for in internal audit. How fitting! A job offer on my last day of college! So now it was really time to celebrate. At about 6 we headed up to Clare's for a BBQ. On the way we bought the ingredients for home made burgers. When we got there, it turned out Clare was not feeling the Mae West so she went to bed and left me as hostess! YES! The novelty of having to answer her phone and direct guests to her place soon wore off though and I was relieved when she re-joined the party after a lie-down feeling much better. We ate food, drank beer, watched world cup, had the banter and played buzz. Buzz resulted in quite a competitive relationship developing between me and Mark. Col left around 11.30 to meet soome of his mates in town. After another hour and a half I decided to join him. After all, the mates he was joining were my future work mates! I only intended on going for one as a 13 hour drinking session was beginning to take its toll. However when I arrived in The Oak, I felt a lot better. The tiger beer went down well. Bumped into Trish there and had a good auld chat about girls, the weather and the state of the nation. After that, more shots and beers with the lads and we were on our way to Iskanders for the obligatory end of night kebab. This went down well and before long I was on a 7N bound for Loughlinstown. A great night to finish off four years of Statistics.

Now away with ye...

Friday 2nd June - Second last exam ever!

2006-06-13T19:36:00.000+01:00

The majority of MSISS finished MSISS today forever and I had completed my second last exam ever and the worst one of this year. For this reason, we were at the pav from 1 o'clock tucking into an inflatable Coors Light cooler full of the beautiful Bavaria. We chilled out on the grass playing multiple rounds of "Homer Simpson" and getting nicely toasted in the hot June sun. Come late afternoon I decided to go home and shower and change before heading back in. As I arrived at the pav for the second time, I was greeted by a refreshingly drunk Alard. After much general bantering around the pav including a streak by none other than Luke Keily we decided to head palace bound. As it was a little early for that we stopped off in O'Neill's for a quick one. As usual, this turned into quite a few and there was no chance of us getting into the palace. At this stage our group consisted of Me, Fi, Wig, Danny and Trish. Alard had bailed on account of an already impressive 11 hours boozing under his belt while Lenny quite characteristically
headed home early. On the way to the palace, Fi encountered an individual for whom she had a letter in her bag stamped and ready to post. Being the practical guy that I am, I insisted on posting the letter even though the person it was destined for was right there. I was later informed that this individual was Rónán and I don't recall recognising him at the time. Being
refused admission to the palace meant we had to settle for Flannery's which quite frankly is a damn sight better anyway. It was also named after a certain world class Munster hooker (possibly untrue). Nothing major occurred here just having the craic. Shortly after 2, Fi left on account of having to be up early to go to Austria in the morning and Danny Trish and Wig left soon after that. I was about to (again) go home unsatisfied with an early night when Colin pulled through as usual. He called me from a payphone outside the palace and therefore outside Flannery's too and I told him to get his ass inside Flannery's post haste! At that moment JennieFlynn turned up with her mate Aisling and the party got started! When Flannery's closed, we headed out for a taxi. While Jennie and Aisling were trying to hail a taxi Col and I decided to head across the road to chat to the large congregation outside the palace. As we were chatting to Caroline Lenehan and Mark Moriarty I looked up and saw a taxi speeding past containing Jennie and Aisling. Thinking quickly I grabbed Col and dragged him up the road chasing the taxi. We managed to catch up with it although Col had no idea what was going on. I peered in and recognising Jennie I proclaimed to Col "Yep. This is the one! Get in." So we did and arrived momentarily at Teach Jennie. Thanks to her generous supply of alcohol and homemade homous we had a proper party with her flat mate Carla and her boyfriend. Not a great lot of what happened next resides in my memory but I know at one stage Col was on one couch and Jennie and I on the other. Col ws telling us something and right in the middle of a sentence, at exactly the same time, both me and Jennie fell asleep! A short while later I woke up and was convinced there was a spare bed somewhere in the house. I got up to go in search of it. As expected, my search proved fruitless and came back to the sitting room to find Col asleep ono my couch. Grrrrr! Thankfully, being the great guy he is, he surrendered it back to me. A few hours later I awoke and looking around the room noticed a plant had been knocked over and the earth on the carpet all around it. As I exclaimed that it was a "proper mess", Col filled me in that I had been the mess maker. It was definitely time to get out of there. I told Jennie we were leaving and notified her that although I was the maker of the mess I would not be cleaning it up. And so we left and after dropping into temple bar for a quick hamburger we headed home.

Now away with ye...

Saturday 27th May - Special Brew

2006-06-13T19:35:00.000+01:00

The situation was all wrong. It was a Saturday night, I had been out on the Friday night, I had an exam coming up on the Monday and had done feck all study for it and I had just finished my last gig ever with present arms. Yet somehow it seemed so right to go straight to the sugar club and see my new band, special brew playing. So I managed to rope in the 2 tone man himself, Ems and her friend Amy. I met them in good auld Hartigans where they were finishing off some pints before heading across to the sugar club. Even though we were late arriving, the band before special brew had run late so the band hadn't started yet. I had a bit of a chat with my new band members before they went on and as they started into One Step Beyond, Col and I started into our routine. By the break, Col was wrecked and had to make an early exit. No matter though as Emsy and Amy were still up for it. Although they hadn't been dancing in the first half they had been quietly getting drunker and were on top form for the second half. Eoin had asked me to take some pictures of the band for the website. Despite being under the influence, I still managed to take good photos. Unfortunately, the subject of the photography wasn't always the band and was often boobs and lesbian goings on. During the intro to Lorraine, Steveo asked the crowd if there was anyone there called Lorraine. For some reason Amy thought this was her and made it known to Steveo and so the song was dedicated to her. Amy was please with this until the chorus: "When I find her I'm gonna kill her!" Well, Amy was quite displeased to say the least! After the set, Ems and Amy became all star struck and insisted on getting each band member's autograph. Thankfully Steveo managed to set things straight with Amy by signing her paper with "Dear Amy (Lorraine), I promise I won't kill you!" Haha! With that we exited the venue but not before a band photo shoot for the new website. Out on the street, I let Ems and Amy head for food while I returned back to my room on campus. Another good night at the Sugar Club!

Now away with ye...

Friday 12th May - Trinity Ball

2006-06-13T19:32:00.000+01:00

What a day! It all started I suppose the night before. For some stupid reason we got it into our heads to have a pre ball drink in O'Neill's. It started off as a quiet one with a friend of Fi's she met in Germany and as you can imagine it ended up being a proper one. After a few pints in O'Neill's it was only natural to progress on to bigger and better things in Doyles. The party consisted of myself, Fi, Cyath-eh, Lenny and his friend who's country of origin is still as yet undecided. After getting kicked out we stalled it round the back of Trinity so that Lenny could sneak Fi in to stay at my place. The next morning we awoke and were far too hungover for the morning of the ball. We headed to Goldsmith to collect our tickets and bumped into everybody we knew on the way. After Fi left, many attempts were made at catching up on lost sleep in anticipation of the ball however this proved impossible as people were calling over every 5 minutes for a variety of different reasons. I gave up and decided to attempt to get my gear over to the stage we were playing on in advance so I wouldn't have to cart it through throngs of drunken students later on that night. After a 3 hour search for the stage manager I gave up and met Col and headed up to Clare's for some pre-ball merriment. This was good and both Ems and Clare were in top form. A while later, my stunning date Joanne arrived albeit with mismatched shoes. Myself, herself and Col all headed down to Trinity for around 10 to collect my drunken band from Doyles. It appears they blatantly disregarded my instructions to not get pissed before the gig which only further eased my conscience on the decision I had recently taken to leave the band. After a brief spell in the "green room" (aka smokey dingy theatre with a few chairs and room temparature budweiser) the bands manager called us to the stage. The gig went better than it seemed to at the time. Unfortunately all I could hear in my monitor were keyboards and Noel's drunken ramblings. Couldn't even hear Tommy's kit! But reports from the crowd were pretty positive. Anyway regardless of how the sound was the gig was still good for several other reasons. Nuala and Andie's carefully made sign lasted about 3 seconds before Dan "c**t" Needham robbed it on them. He spent the rest of the gig waving it around, throwing it on stage, jumping over the barriers to get it, getting thrown back behind the barriers by the bouncers and waving it around back to front. The highlight of the gig, however was an impromptu skanking performance by none other than Colin "2 tone man" O'Driscoll. During Monkey Man, I remember seeing Noel beckoning someone in the crowd. Looking into the crowd all I could see was a very excited black and white blur running round to the stage entrance and flashing a backstage pass at a bouncer. Next thing I know Col is on stage dancing with Noel! Was a great performance and one I doubt Col will forget any time soon. After the gig I just couldn't get my gear back to my apartment quick enough. I was dying to rush out and see the end of Ocean Colour Scene. I only managed to make the last song but it was The Day we Caught the Train so that was good. Saw a few other bands after that but don't really know who they were. The rest of the night was spent bumping into people I knew and chatting to them. The last act I remember seeing was the Guns 'n' Roses tribute act who were, to be frank, dire! After Joanne had gone home I spent a while longer chatting to a few more people before turning in for the night. Thanks to the pre ball drinks the night before I was well and truly ready for bed.

Now away with ye...

The last 2 months of my life

2006-06-06T23:46:00.000+01:00

Trinity Ball 2006
Making a proper mess
Ronan getting refused admission on account of his knobbly knees
Yet another special brew gig
Plus a funny story about abortion

Coming soon...

SKA SKA SKA!

2006-04-11T01:40:00.000+01:00

Nice. BAsically this is like a really short executive summary of last Friday. I definitely plan to add to it in the future but I feel I should put something up in the meantime lest I completely forget about it.

Basically Col and I went to see Special Brew at the Sugar Club courtesy of Mr. Stephen Rooney. Great gig and afterwards we ran amuck around Dublin. For some reason I thought it was completely reasonable to steal a chair from burger king. I chickened out at the last minute but once we were outside I wanted to go back for it. Alas I was not willing to put my money where my mouth is. Also for some reason I purchased some porn involoving 18 year old ladies. Although the seller of the porn insisted that it was not a bad thing that I was buying it I was still very much embarrassed by it. At one stage I dropped it in the queue in Burger King and it landed with a dodgy page showing face up much to my mortification. Another incident on the way down Grafton St was my donation of €2 to the buskers which I demanded to be returned to me when I figured out they were shit. Thanks to Col for preventing a fight that I could easily have gotten into. On a more positive note, I managed to win the gold medal for hurdles in the special olympics that night despite there being bikes chained to the hurdles. My feet and body generally were killing me the next day as a result of the dancing but twas a goodnight all the same.

Now away with ye...

Day 3 - I am a Weapon!

2006-04-08T17:13:00.000+01:00

Waking up on the third day of our Tilburg trip I didn't feel half as bad as I did waking up
on the second day. Unfortunately my travelling companions did not share my lack of hangover
and Fi in particular was in a bad way. Joris once again was nowhere to be seen and we began
to wonder if he even came home at all last night. We woke up properly and whipped up a
batch of the obligatory toasties. Fi who is normally quite intolerant was at the height of
her intolerance this morning and I actually feared for Max's life if he were to mention the
T word to Fi again. Some time was spent filling Max in on his drunken antics from the night
before. Due to falling sleep and our general drunken state we didn't get to finish Kingdom
of Heavan from the night before and so we decided to watch the lat 30 minutes again. The
leading woman seemed a lot hotter the night before and the film was even worse than we
remembered it. After this and listening to the same Nirvana album 5 times Joris turned up
to show us round his university. The bus today was €1.60 when the day before it had only
cost 50c. Even Joris is confused by this and can't explain it himself. The university was
simple and quiet - a bit like Lenny! Ah no. We went up to the top floor and thanks to the
flat nature of the Dutch countryside we could see for literally miles and miles. Lenny as
always was only thinking about his stomach and when he was going to get his next fix of
toasties. So after a lot of Fi being intolerant towards his grumbling we headed for their
equivalent of the buttery. Toasties and soup for a change. With a bit of food in us we
began to feel thirsty again and so the first beers of the day were ordered. After a few in
"The Buttery pleesh" we went into the town to look around. On our travels we encountered
the Dutch equivalent of Hector Grey's. Still feeling guilty about breaking Joris' chair on
the first night I decided to buy him a replacement. Unfortuantely the only chairs they had
were small, flimsy, breakable neon fold up ones however it would have to do. I promptly
bought it and presented it to Joris. Frankly Joris thought it was shit but Max seemed a lot
more interested in it. From that point on it was a rare thing to see Max without the chair.
On our way to a pub I needed to stop off at an atm. The chair provided the perfect way to
rest my posterior while withdrawing cash. More Heineken Bavaria and Grolsch in the pub.
Then it was on to the restaurant that Joris booked us into where we caught up with his
girlfriend. I ordered the wrong thing by accident but it ended up being delicious. Still
would have loved the steak that Lenny got. A nice after dinner game of Guess Who was fun
except for the cheating. If you're going to play a game you should play it properly. On the
way to the next bar, Max insisted on having a photo of him sitting on the chair taken at
every point along the way. He even asked randomers to stand beside him while he sat on the
chair. Some randomers were more happy about this than others especially the 15 year old
girls he asked. It was impossible to wrench the chair from his hands. He just would not let
go! We were now in this bar that sells many many different types of beer and each one comes
in its own glass with its own beermat. One final photo with the chair was taken in the mens
toilets. Sat at the table next to ours was a couple eating a platter of cold meat and
cheese. As soon as they left Max was over there in a flash to tidy up the remains of their
food. He has no morals! After this it was back to Joris' place where the others smoked the
last joint - HAZE! This is, as the packet says, for the experienced smokers only. Well when
they came back up to Joris' room from smoking it you could see why. I could tell there was
a lot of laughter contained within them ready to burst out. It only took about 30 seconds
for me to make a completely non-funny comment about the crisps we were eating which
resulted in everyone crying with laughter till there were no more tears left. For some
reason Fi's logic was wreaking havoc. She got the idea into her head that becuase of
Lenny's army training he might be officially classified as a weapon! Lenny relished this
and made Fi regret asking him that for the next 24 hours. He even compared himself to
rambo! It was just then that Lenny decided to tell me that the chair I broke on the first
night was not in fact given to Joris by his grandfather and it was of no sentimental value
to him whatsoever. BASTAD! But I decided to let him away with it since buying the new chair
had been such a great source of amusement. We decided to hit the sack relatively early
since we were leaving the next day much to the disappointment of Max. He would have kept on
going forever if he was given half the chance! Lying in bed trying to sleep we played a
newly invented word game that Lenny kicked our asses at despite him being German. Nothing
against Germans like! So that was it. The next morning we were up and out everyone was
feeling like shit and not saying much. An uneventful journey home however I must mention
that wins from both Leinster and Munster in the Heineken Cup mean an all-Ireland semi final
in three weeks time in Lansdowne road. I CAN'T WAIT!

Now away with ye...

Day 2 - Best city ever!

2006-04-04T19:31:00.000+01:00

My eyes open. I regard the unfamiliar ceiling with curiosity. As I sit up to check the time a sharp pain shoots through my head. I lie there for a while as some memories come flooding back while others are lost in the vast cosmos of my subconscious. Looking round I notice a 3 legged chair with a splintered leg lying beside it. I somehow have a strange feeling that the current state of this chair had something to do with me. I look around further and there is Lenny with a smug German grin on his face. He remembers! Bastad. The next while is spent filling in the gaps. Lenny reminds me of the breaking the chair incident. The chair, he tells me, was one given to Joris by his Grandfather. As Lenny himself put it: "Monetary value - €20. Sentimental value - Priceless!" I felt like shit. I was also reminded of my incessant Dutch accent. While Lenny's advice to cut out the Dutch accent while we are here was harsh, I definitely agreed I should cut back. At least for 5 minutes. Pleesh! Joris had long since left the gaff to go to the University to organise the party tonight. We all got up, showered and headed out to marvel at the beautiful sights of Tilburg. The arguing began as soon as we left Joris' place. Lenny, despite never having been here before, insisted that he was 100% sure of the way to town and that there was no need to get a bus. I have to admit that after much grumbling along the way we did arrive at the town after not too long a walk. The plan was to find an eatery ASAP. Easier said than done! Some of us (mainly me) were happy with eating in literally the first place available. Others wanted to look for the most suitable place available. It was then that we stumbled upon a lovely little place called Havana. True to it's name the bar/restaurant was a Cuban style establishment. We noted its attractiveness on the way in and yet again after we had consumed food. Although we required something substantial, it was difficult to look at a menu in Holland and not order Toasties! Lenny and I solved this problem by ordering a burger each with all the trimmings and a minitosti to share. This caused much amusement when the small table we were sitting at was full with our respective dishes and Lenny was forced to hold the plate of tosti in his hand while eating it. After the food and about 6 cokes we moved on to next door. This was a pleasant bar in which I got a beer while the others drank coffee. We didn't stay for long though as people were eager to scout out the coffee shops. We asked directions to a coffee shop in Havana and although they seemed simple enough we still managed to get lost. We did however know the name of the establishment to which we were headed and Fi asked a couple of young girls where The Grass Company was. They looked terrified and replied "We wouldn't know where that is!" before running away down the flat Dutch street. Perplexed we decided to look for the place a bit more before finally deciding the best thing would be to head back to Havana and reinforce the directions in our mind. After following them again we finally managed to find the place. It was great! Very mellow and chilled out and the music was spot on. On entry we were given a drinks menu, food menu and Marijuana menu. After sampling some of the products that the coffee shop had on offer we headed back to Joris' to freshen up for the party that night but not before stopping off at the local Jumbo. Here we stocked up on Tosti ingredients, snacks and 4 crates of beer. Joris' eyes nearly popped out of his head when we arrived back with all that. A quick freshen up later we were on our way down to the restaurant for dinner with about 30 other guys that Joris works with. Upon arriving there we realised it was the same establishment we visited straight after Havana earlier. We were served a 3 course meal for only ten bucks. Tomato soup, followed by Schnitzel followed by Gemischtes Eis. The final bill was split evenly which came to only €17 each! We felt kind of bad since we had probably drank 3 times as much beer ass everyone else but we weren't complaining. In any case, we were on holildays!

After the dinner we trekked on over to the party venue. It wasn't open yet and Joris had to go in to get set up so we mozied over to the Irish bar across the road for a quick one. After a rather not nice guinness we headed over to the venue. Since the first 500 beers were free we were eager to get in early. We strolled straight up to the bar and ordered a round. We met many people that night. Of note were Joris' girlfriend who was lovely and a guy who when wearing his dreadlock wig looked like Drexel from True Romance. We danced to trance, drank, danced to R&b and drank some more. When the 500 free beers ran out we had to buy tokens from a machine and exchange them for beers for the rest of the night. You never exchange money with the bartender. The party was beach themed and had sand on the floor and everyone was wearing shorts, tank tops, bikinis and garlands (Thanks Emsy!). At one stage during the night I saw a guy fall and hit his face off the bar. When he got up, he was missing a tooth and there was blood pouring out of his mouth! OUCH! Around 3.30 am we headed back to Joris' apartment sans Joris. We were all in good spirits but Max was in expecially good form. At Joris' Fi instantly collapsed on the pile of matresses. Max felt it necessary to jump on top of Fi and Lenny and I were not about to argue and so jumped on too. After squishing Fi so flat that you would need a vernier callipers to measure her width, we decided that tostis and a viewing of Kingdom of Heaven was in order. I began to prepare the tosti ingredients and Max in his high spirited state insisted on helping. I repeatedly told him to sit down and that I would make the tostis and bring one to him when they were ready. He still insisted on helping so I reluctantly put him in charge of cutting the cheese. I busied myself with the ham and bread and when I looked back several minutes later Max had cut almost the entire block of Gouda! This time I banished him to the couch and told him to sit still. When the Tostis were ready we sat down to watch the film. Unfortunately the Tostis were not enought to fill Max's rumbling stomach and he proceeded to eat every other piece of food in the gaff including Fi's precious bugles. The film wasn't great although the main female character was hot. Half way through the film, Lenny got up to go to the jacks. Upon his arrival, he sat down on the couch, looked at me and declared in the best German accent ever "I've been sick." Hilarious! After the terrible film ended, we hit the sack. Fi by this stage was unconscious on Joris' bed and since we didn't know if he would return tonight, we thought it best to remove her from the bed. This proved to be more easily said than done and Fi was not happy about being moved. Still we managed it eventually and we all slipped into alcohol induced unconsciousness for the second time this holiday.

Now away with ye...

Day 1 - Toshtis Pleesh!

2006-04-04T18:37:00.000+01:00

Apologies for the lack of blog entries which comes at the hands of Final Year Project. Said project is now done and dusted and all 5 copies handed into the Department of Statistics reception. Speaking of FYP, a trip to Tilburg to celebrate its completion was undertaken last week and this is the subject of the forthcoming entry.

I guess the trip began at 11 am on the morning of Wednesday 29th March 2006. Lenny called over then and after a while we headed to O'Neills to meet Fi and Max. Lenny decided that it would be prudent to buy a gift for Joris and after considering many fine articles of Irish tack from O'Carrolls, we finally decided on a €8 rugby ball from Champion Sports. Onwards and upwards as I say we went to Bruxelles. It was well after midday at this stage and a pint was already overdue. I must say the guinness is extra creamy at that hour of the day. Either it was the pre holiday jitters or the excitement of having finally handed in FYP but I was in an overly giddy mood. Along with this came a new found clumsiness which resulted in many pints being spilt and people being bumped around. Soon it was time to go and after a quick stop off at my place to pick up my digital camera we headed for the 16A bus stop to bring us to the hairyport. On the bus we decided that the can of Prascky burning a hole in Fi's bag had to be drunk. Although I was in pain due to bladder burstage being imminent, I somehow managed to get half the can into me. After arriving at the airport and making a much welcomed piss stop, we checked in and headed straight for the bar. Just as we ordered our pints, our flight was called. No problem. We downed the pints and headed for the gate. On the plane we met up with Philip, a rather nice Dutch guy who was returning home after visiting Guiseppe (hehe!). During the safety demonstration on the plane, Fi and I were repremanded for talking by a fiesty yet strangely attractive air hostess. The plane ride itself was unusally quick, no doubt our perception due to alcohol already consumed, high holiday spirits and the several Amstels imbibed while on the plane.

By the time we arrived at Eindhoven airport, the rugby ball no longer looked like brand new. In fact it more looked like we had found it in a skip and decided to bring it for Joris. The man himself picked us up at the airport and drove us in his very VERY small Renault to Tilburg. Despite a near crash on the way we made in one piece to his luxurious bachelor pad. It wasn't long before we raided his fridge, cracked open the beers and were having the banter. Max and Joris very kindly made us the best meal EVER! Mashed potato, cabbage and bacon. Delicious! Although they made more than enough, within minutes we were literally scraping the bottom of the large saucepan and whining for more. After the hearty meal and long day of drinking we began to feel tired. Fi was concerned about imminent fadeage and suggested heading out to the local for a few pints. In the end we decided to stay in and hang out with Joris since he had been so kind in making us dinner and providing us with alcohol. It didn't take long for someone to suggest drinking games and that's when all hell broke loose! The first was ring of fire. Despite a considerably weak rule that only beer and whiskey be allowed in the dirty pint, the game resulted in carnage. Suitably, Lenny got the dirty pint. After this, the next game was quite a complicated one involving dice and numbers and stuff. Although the Germans assured me this was a game played by young kids in Germany I still couldn't get to grips with this. However I eventually managed to exploit my ingorance into making others drink which was fun. The next thing I remember was waking up the next morning although I was subsequently filled in on some events that happened. First, I apparently broke Joris' chair when leaning back on it. Second, I apparently INSISTED that Joris make us toasties! Finally, I apparently made fun of the Dutch accent to the point of annoyance on Joris' behalf. All I can say is sorry Joris. Also a big apology to Lenny and Max for other events that took place that night that we will discuss in a more appropriate forum.

Now away with ye...

Linton's First Paddy's Day

2006-03-19T01:36:00.000Z

The day started as my most sober Paddy's day ever. Due to working at the Spring House and Garden Show in the RDS, I managed to stay completely sober until 7pm. By the time I was finished in the RDS I had the serious jitters and a pint in Crowe's with work people was definitely in order. After two in Crowe's I strolled half way to town before getting a bus the rest of the way. Met Concrete COlleeeeeeeee outside Trininty and after briefly dropping off some gear in my gaff we wandered to Bruxelles to meet Fi et al. Bruxelles was packed and feeling very behind the others in terms of alcoholic influence, Col downed a double vodka. After one or two and a bit of dancing to such anthems as Another one bites the dust, It must be love, Jailbreak, and Viva Las Vegas, we all headed outside to decide on the next port of call.

We called the Germans who were in McDaid's for some reason but alas this didn't result in seeing them. I made use of Fi's artistic skill in the form of a shamrock on my left cheek and an Irish flag before we all headed up to Hogans. Not a whole lot of interest here but the place was rammed again. Close to midnight, myself and Col went back to Trinity to sign him in. Heading back to my room for a quick toilet stop we spied the tennis courts looking particularly inviting. We wouldn't be the men we are if we didn't stop for a quick game. Since Ro ro ro was being a knob and wouldn't lend us some floodlight tokens the game was played in the dark. Still in the same way as Pool and Darts I actually played my best ever game. No doubt due to the alcohol content in my body. WHile we were playing, a group of people were getting into a car. They asked me and Col to join them which were well up for until we realised their intended destination - Dandelion! We politely refused, finished up our game of tennis and headed back to Hogans to be reunited with the others.

Possibly the funniest thing happening in Hogans was when I heard a loud crash of many drinks and glasses hitting the ground and smashing. Looking around, I saw Fi's cousin on the floor and insisted knowing what had happened. I was expecting that he had been punched or had an epileptic fit or something that could explain him making a mess of the bar but it turns out he had literally just fell due to being polluted. As he was feeling somewhat embarrassed about the whole thing, Col tried to shut me up and stop me from insisting what had happened. Alas his subtle gestures were unnoticed and I continued to publicise this event. Unfortunately we were situated directly in front of a fire exit and random annoying punters kept trying to use it as a regular exit despite our cries of "It's not a door. IT'S NOT A DOOR!!"

When Hogans closed, Fi and the othes went home. Not ready to end the night yet, Col and I headed up to The Palace to meet Jennie and her mates. Hands down the most embarrassing part of the night was getting refused access to The Palace albeit only because it was full. It was waiting for Jennie outside the palace that I had a random encounter with Jeeban. Although I informed Jennie why we weren't getting into the palace she still had to verify for herself. So then it was on to The Village and on the way I bumped into my old tennis partner! Unfortunately, as COl just reminded me, I never had a tennis partner so I've no idea who that actually was on the street. I also have a vague recollection of smoking a cigar like a joint much to the interest of passing Guards. There was quite an older crowd in the Village and I felt quite young however we then went downstairs to where Jennie's friend was DJ-ing and that was much better. We danced to some funky music and when Michael Jackson's thriller came on, some randomer turned into a zombie!? Thankfully Jennie confiscated my phone and I was spared the opportunity to send drunken texts. We sat down and chatted after that and a bag of minstrels and a bag of wine gums mysteriously appeared from nowhere! I don't know who was adminstrating the sweets but all I know is that every few minutes a wine gum was stuffed into my mouth. I was talking to Pauline who I assumed was French. After a lengthy discussion about the Wales V France rugby match tomorrow I eventually discerned that she is in fact Belgian.

After being kicked out of the Village we headed for obligatory kebabs in a place that began with a Z. Kebabs were good but people were weird. Memory was seriously vague at this stage but I do recall a dodgy chat with Jennie about a certain other lecturer in the institute. Walking home, Col and I stopped into a newsagent where we were asked what the result of the England Ireland match was. When we arrived at the front gate of Trinity the security guard informed us that he was feeling "terrific" before heading on to 18.0.01 and to bed.

I sit writing this blog entry the next morning with a star on my forehead and drinking a glass of red wine.

Now away with ye...

American Pie Tribute Party

2006-03-12T11:11:00.000Z

Apologies for the delay in this blog entry. Bloggy has suffered at the hands of final year project. Still better late than never and what a night it was! I'll disclaim now that this account may contain gaps where my brain shut down its memory record functions and may be inaccurate due to distortions in my memory record.

I recently moved into room 18.0.01B in Botany Bay and was obliged to celebrate with a flat warming party. Fi came round at 7 to cook up some delicious vegetable stir fry with minging LIDL rice that tasted like ground. We spent the next hour or so chilling out with cans and lemon jelly till Cathy arrived. Nik was next and for a while it seemed that I wasn't as popular as I initially thought. Thankfully several of Mike's crazy English friends turned up and the place began to feel more like a party. One by one people started turning up and about another hour later the place was like a tin of sardines. It seemed impossible that so many people could fit in the apartment but another hour later, the number of people had doubled again! I was slightly wary of campus security prowling around outside but I soon learned to ignore that fact and just enjoy the party. Whatever was to be would be. The freaky armless baby featured greatly throughout the night making many more friends than anyone else. It was also used to demonstrate the art of mouth to mouth resuscitation. Like I said before, thanks to my old friend alcohol, specific events of the night may have slipped my mind. I do however recall spending some time chatting to the beautiful Fiona Wilkes. The one memory that stood out in my mind was Mike's speech. I've no recollection as to what he was actually saying but I do remember him lifting his glass of red wine in toast and it spilling all down his t-shirt before smashing into a million pieces on the carpet. Literally one second later, a bottle of buckfast had already been thrust into his hand and he was guzzling away. Classic! It was then that I realised this party was going to be mental and decided to shed my concerns of damaged upholstery and irate security staff.

One event I was recently reminded of by Fi was her display of maverick. Once I had informed her that the carpet was already stained when I moved into the apartment, Fi decided to take advantage of this by blatantly pouring her beer all over it. "You're a maverick!" I exclaimed. My brother Rog was also there and at one stage he looked as if he had seen a ghost. I went over to him and he was all shook up. Being the concerned brother that I am I asked him what was wrong. It turns out he was recovering from a drunken chat with Karin that has left him scarred for life. He's still dealing with the trauma. Speaking of Karin, she seemed to be getting pretty close to Gepetto at one stage. Her level of drunkeness was confirmed as soon as she asked me to give Gepetto her number. I was happy to oblige much to her distaste the next morning. As it was getting closer to midnight it was time to kick everyone out and into Doyles. Again, memory is vague here. I did, apparently, spend some time chatting to Fiona Sinead and Niall. I remember one stage Niall assaulting me and trying to drag me upstairs to see Mike. I was uninterested at the time but I still wonder what it was that got Niall so excited that he practically kidnapped me to bring me upstairs. I left Doyles somewhat early due to my Godfather's father's funeral taking place first thing in the morning. Fi also left early thanks to an early morning drive to Cork and while we were walking down Dame St we had quite the tiff! I got back to my room and had a vague idea that I was fighting with Fi yet couldn't for the life of me remember why! A quick text to Fi and we were friends again but I had to wait till later in the week before finding out what the fight was about. Quite funny but probably shouldn't repeat it here...

Thanks to everyone who came. Was a great turnout from all walks of life. Was great to see Emma and Karen there from Rathmichael as well as other Emma and other Karen. Thanks to Ronan for bringing girls. Thanks to Mike's friend for the white chocolate buttons. Thanks to Ailbhe (Dave) for the Yop.

Now away with ye...

Blocked toilet

2006-03-02T18:22:00.000Z

Well. So much has happened since the last entry. I am now currently residing in Apartment 18.0.01 Botany Bay with a slightly untidy yet very pleasant guy called Mike. In addition to this I recently found out that Present Arms are to play Trinity Ball 2006 mainstage at midnight. This pleases me greatly. A win for Ireland against Wales at the weekend coupled with England losing to Scotland pleases me even more. My first night in my new apartment was interesting. I celebrated with a few(!) cans up in Clares with the usual suspects before heading on down to The Mezz. At roughly 1.30am I joined Fi in Charlies 3 for some quality Chinese cuisine before heading off to spend my first night on campus. The next day I awoke to the sounds of rioting and sure enough as I looked out my bedroom window onto Pearse St I witnessed an outbreak of pandemonium. Guards running everywhere dressed in riot gear trying to keep northside scumbags at bay who were doing everything from smashing in shop windows to burning cars. Many people were running into the thick of it however I decided to take the advice of my parents and stay indoors well away from it all. On Sunday I finally got to meet my flatmate Mike of which I was feeling quite aprehensive as I was told his name was Constantinos!

Although plans were set in motion to have a flatwarming party this Friday, as I arrived home from work last night, Mike and his mates were busy getting stuck into a few cans. Far be it from me to pass up a cool alcoholic beverage so I legged it over to Londis for a few cans of cheap Czech Lager. Unfortunately our toilet took a turn for the worse and as most people know, cheap Czech lager + blocked toilet = Mess. Still we did well running back and forth from the Buttery for all our excretery needs and midnight saw our departure from the gaff to a pub on Dame St whose name escapes me right now. Multiple pints of guinness followed and I slowly but surely began to realise that the next day might be a write off. Back at the gaff after being chucked out of the pub, Mike, being the nice guy that he is, whipped us up a batch of his famous pancake batter. A couple more cans of Pravscy later and I was off to bed with no intention of making Data Mining at 11am. Party at mine on Friday!!!

Now away with ye...

The 4 year anniversary of "that night"

2006-02-15T10:15:00.000Z

Cast your mind way back to February 13th 2002. It was the week before our mocks started and half term. My parents and brother had gone away for the week to give me plenty of quiet time to study for the mocks. Now don't get me wrong, I did get plenty enough study done that week. However I thought it only right that I have a little get together at mine to celebrate the first time having the house totally to myself for a week. The gathering consisted of myself, Ali, Wigs, Danny, Nik, Fi and Shoz. Wig being on antibiotics at the time managed to stay sober for the entire night but had the benefit of being able to completely dedicate his time to filming the show! Between the alochol that night and the time passed since, my memory has become corrupt and I can't quite remember all the sordid details. However it did involve sitting around and playing a game that involved forfeits. It wasn't long before the girls were down to their bras and knickers with the lads just in their boxers. Wigs, despite being sober, was strangely naked. Another forfeit consisted of Wigs using his teeth to protect a banana from STIs. Again slightly disturbing given his level of drunkeness - or lack thereof. Fi somehow ended up having a penis drawn on each cheek. The first, drawn by Ali was miniscule. The other, by Danny, was a 6 inch sausage! This, unfortunately for Ali, earned him the embarrassing reputation of having a small member, a reputation that would haunt him at every subsequent visit to the pub for years to come. There are several other good memories from that night which I won't share here for various reasons. Mainly because this blog entry is not about that night but about the 4 year anniversary of that night.

When we first heard Shoz was visiting from London for 2 nights and one of them was the 13th of February we couldn't believe our luck at the opportunity for an anniversary celebration. We began by drinking a few of the old reliable 6 for €7 in Fi's before heading into town to meet the others in Dakota. Unfortunately the atmosphere was close to nil there and so we moved on swiftly to Flannery's of Camden St. This was much better and the craic was mighty and Alard was doing his Gordon Darcy impersonation again. Upstairs with a booth we felt the need to dance on the seats to certain patriotic songs such as Crazy World by Aslan and Saints and Sinners by Paddy Casey. The bouncers were not amused and we got off the seats pretty sharpish. So we continued dancing on the floor. As we were leaving the place, Col in his usual drunken thievery mode managed to swipe a feathery scarf and an umbrella! When confronted he claimed he found them but chances are he found them on a seat beside a group of people who owned them! He was wearing the scarf but the umbrella was cleverly concealed in his sleeve. He kept insisting that his arm was made out of umbrella and wanted people to touch it. He then went off into the night singing about how he was the motherfucking shit with his tinsil. It was then onto the Berkley Court hotel where Shoz was staying. There we were 7 drunk students all piling into the residence bar of this 5 star hotel and demanding guinness and other assorted alcoholic beverages. Despite our well formed arguments we were not allowed to play the piano. At this stage Ali was suffering and so myself and Fi decided to put him to bed. We bid Shoz farewell and took a taxi back to Fi's. Ali went straight to bed and Fi and I were up for drinking a while longer in her kitchen. Fi told me she was going to the toilet and to wait for her in the kitchen and she would be back in a few minutes. I was quite content to sit there revelling in my own toughts when I soon realised that 30 minutes had passed. Where the fuck was Fi?!! Thinking she had gone to bed without telling me I went upstairs to check. Alard was fast asleep in the spare room but no sign of Fi in her room. I went back downstairs and noticed a rectangular glow of light around the downstairs toilet door. Ah. She ws still in there. I waited another 10 minutes before giving up and going to bed myself. Unfortunately Fi's memory was in no state to fill me in on what actually happened to her in the morning but my theory is she fell asleep on the toilet. And as she woke up in her bed still wearing her jacket God knows what actually happened! The next day was spent recovering and watching the previous night's recorded epsiode of Lost. (It was deadly!) Farewell Shoz. See you again in another 4 years!

Now away with ye...

Hot boy!!!

2006-02-13T17:36:00.000Z

So I lashed in to town first thing in the morning with the idea of obtaining optimal viewing spaceage for the match. It was as I sat down right in front of the biggest screen in the Woolshed with a pint of guinness at 11.45 am that it occurred to me I might have a problem. Nonetheless the pint was creamy and the Australian rugby league match that was on was highly entertaining. As was to be expected both Claire and Fi were late and the first group to turn up was Fi and Rachel. Rachel unexpected, yet highly welcome, proved to be quite the rugby watching buddy as we will later see. Although I'd had no breakfast and was currently underway with my 2nd pint, we decided to defer the ordering of food till a later point. Just then Claire and Lisa arrived and our little group began expanding. The pre-match banter was immense and 15 mins before it started we ordered chicken wings. Alas the portion was quite large and the food quite antisocial. I spent the first 10-15 mins of the match shouting and cheering for Ireland through a mouthful of chicken and spicy BBQ sauce. By this stage the pub was packed and we had quite a group going on including Emsy, Karine, Joanne, Clare, Byron, Colin, Ronan and a few of Claire's friends. Unfortunately the match wasn't quite shaping up to be the match we expected it to be. We were making sloppy mistakes and the French were punishing us for it. At one stage Geordan Murphy got the ball. Rachel beside me screamed "Go on Geordo!!!" Just as she said that he passed the ball right into the hands of a French player who went on to score. We were gutted! At half time all seemed lost and we were getting ready for another afternoon of drinking our sorrows away. This continues for the first half of the second half until we suddenly got a try! Despite the French already having 4 tries under their belt we celebrated this try immensly. 13 minutes or so later we had 4 tries under our belt with 10 minutes to go! This match was turning out to be the most stressful 80 minutes of my life. I dreaded to think what would happen if we got a 5th try in and came within 5 points of the French. Nobody dared to admit it but we actually had a chance of turning this game around! Unfortuantely it wasn't to be and the game ended in a French victory. But we can take confidence from the way in which we bravely fought back and for those last 20 minutes the French were completely shook up. Their defence was in tatters. If only that had happened 20 minutes earlier... Oh well. We still have a chance to win the championship and if we can play like the 2nd half of the France match in future matches we should have a considerable chance.

After the game, most people decided against hanging around for the Italy V England match. Having lost to the French the last thing we wanted to do was watch the English win! Those of us who did stay, however, were treated to a valiant battle from the Italians who only trailed by a point at half time. Disappointingly they couldn't keep it up for the full 80 minutes and around 3/4 through the game the English took control and banged home a good victory. At this stage though we didn't care and were well on our way to a good evening. Amongst the people still left were me, Fi, Claire, Lisa and Fi's cousin + mates. Claire and Lisa had met some "Hot Boys" downstairs and were back and forth between us and them. Maybe I hadn't been paying attention becuase of the rugby but it was now fairly clear to me that Lisa wasn't drunk. She was obliterated! Sorry Lis but there's no other word! Beside me there was a French guy sitting down and as he went to the toilet he asked Lisa to mind his seat for him. I grimaced and wondered whether the seat would still be there when he got back. Sure enough by the time the guy got back Lisa had pawned the chair away! Later on that evening I was at the bar when Lisa came up enthusing wildly about the Hot Boy she had met downstairs. At first she was making full sentences but soon resorted to just screaming in my ear "HOT BOY HOT BOY!!!" Just then the barlady asked us for our orders and all Lisa could manage was to order a Hot Boy! At first the barlady looked bewildered and then thought Lisa was asking for a cocktail. She swiftly produced the cocktail menu and asked Lisa to indicate which cocktail she wanted. Lisa just pointed to any old random cocktail and kept shouting "HOT BOY! HOT BOY!" At this point I made my apologies to the barlady and led Lisa away from the bar. Then Lisa went to the jacks and I decided to order her a pint of water. When I went back to the bar, before I could order anything the barlady told me I was not allowed order alcohol for my "little friend" as she was too drunk! :-/ We hung around for a bit of the banter with Fi's cousin and his mates before grabbing a taxi back to their place in Drumcondra.

Back in Drumcondra we drank and munched on pizza. Was fairly mellow here which was quite a change from the lively atmosphere of the Woolshed. After an hour or two of chilling out we decided to head back to town and called for another taxi. It was eventually decided that The Mezz be our destination. Unfortunately it was after midnight and it had been a long day. A 12+ hour stint was taking its toll and Fi was complaining of a severe headache. Myself and Fi left her cousin and friends in the mezz and shared a taxi home but not before a juicy lamb kebab courtesy of Ananya in Temple Bar. Once home I indulged in a few more beers with my folks while watching Cream's reunion concert on TV. Soon enough I was in bed and on my way to slumberland.

Now away with ye...

Proper Bo'

2006-02-07T21:13:00.000Z

A quick blog entry due to the fact that the last one was almost a month ago. Lack of entries is largely down to my ongoing abstinance of alcohol between the days of Sunday and Thursday. Unfortuantely the invisible random troll that follows me round throwing my life into a topsy turvy world of randomness needs alcohol to function. Having said that, my life has progressed somewhat and this entry will be a quick update on the goings on of Grum.

I may as well start with the most recent memory as it is still fresh in my head. Last night saw the coming of the long awaited second series of Lost. After a long day at college I cycled to Fi's where we cycled on together to Emsy's. Here we met Alard, Wig and Dan and were in high spirits at the anticipation of what lay ahead. We sat around getting more and more giddy before retiring to the tv room at 9 for a double episode of beauty. Alas our hopes were too high as the first episode was a catch-up episode. This might prove useful for some but since most of us finished watching the first season only 24 hours earlier this catch up episode was unnecessary. However it only made us more hungry for the actual epsidoe that followed straight after. While brilliant in every possible way, it was far too short and a whole week is far too long to wait for the next episode. Discussion followed as did much popcorn courtesy of Danny's popcorn making machine. Around the midnight mark I cycled home sounding my abnoxious horn.

Saturday was a pretty good day too. I awoke that morning with high hopes for arguably the best Irish rugby team in decades. It was the opening match of the 6 nations championship 2006 between Ireland and Italy at Lansdowne Rd. Thanks to Claire's powers of persuasion over her Daddy she managed to box us off with a pair of seats in the upper east stand. We met outside Mary Macs at midday for a few pints and then strolled down to the stadium just making the kick off at 1.30. Disaster. An abismal performance from Ireland who should not have won. The Italians fought well and closed us down at every opportunity. A wrongfully awarded try to Tommy Bowe made even more sickening. Still a win is a win and Ireland are still on track for the grandslam. After the match, myself and Claire headed to Kitty O'Shea's to watch the England V Wales match at Twikenham with Fi & family. I was hoping for a good result here from our Celtic Brethern especially as I had a €1 bet riding on England to win the wooden spoon. Alas it was not to be and England completely thrashed Wales. The day was not turning out as planned. The last glimmer of hope for the day to turn good lay in the first Present Arms gig in over a quarter of a year. The gig was at a 21st somewhere on the Northside in a GAA club. I arrived there, we soundchecked, listened to the support band who were very good for a change and had a few pints. By the time we got on stage we were gagging for it. We played well I thought but the crowd didn't care. They didn't want to know who we were. There was no atmosphere and more importantly no dancing. After 2 hours of hell we were bored and dying to quit and get drunk. And quit and get drunk we did. Somehow I managed to call in the services of Taxi Dave to bring me home at the end of the night. The last thing I remember as I was leaving the GAA club was a bloody brawl in the carpark. I've seen a couple of fisticuff fights in my life but this was an all out bloodbath. The 2 guys were kicking the absolute shit out of each other surrounded by a large crowd. I got into my taxi and the driver called the cops. My next memory is not a pleasant one and I shall refrain from sharing it in this forum. I was suffering on Sunday and somehow managed to get through a whole practice with The Fez down in Steveo's place in Gorey. I'm never drinking again!

Now away with ye...

Lip up fatty

2006-01-24T19:53:00.000Z

This was the first weekend of my not drinking Sunday to Thursday buzz and as such by the time I arrived at Fi's just before 8 on Friday I was more than gagging for a beer! Thankfully I had in my possession a rather large sports bag the contents of which included 20 bottles of rolling rock, 6 cans of Prascky, a jar of Phileas Fogg salsa, a pack of green pringles, a pack of cool tortilla chips and to finish it off - a bowl of beautiful homemade guacamole! Mmmm... The guacamole came with particular sentiment as I had complained the previous week about the quality, or lacak thereof, of the Tesco guacamole. So at Fi's already were Niamh and the German. While Fi was busy rustling us up some of her delicious korma stir fry the rest of us were busy getting outside of the beer. (Well me and Lenny anyway. Niamh was suffering from a molar deficit.) After a delicious meal we launched into the vodka jelly shots which contrary to Lenny's beliefs did not contain any traces of jellyfish. By this stage another friend of Fi's had turned up whose name escapes me right now (something like Andy or Toby) and the vodka jelly inspired her to mix a jug of Vodka and coke. We attempted a power hour which quickly became a power half hour which then became a power quarter hour. I think we gave up after about 12 minutes. Fi called for a taxi and in the time it took for it to arrive Toby/Andy had polished off her entire jug of vodka and coke! :-/ Messy times lay ahead and we all knew it. Into town we went to meet up with Wigs and Amy before heading on to the Gaeity for a bit o the ska music. Unfortunately Toby/Andy didn't make it further than where the taxi left us on Stephen's green. Myself and the German went to meet Wigs + gf while Fi tried to knock some sense into her gibbering drunken friend. The Gaeity not being open yet we headed for Sinnots for a quick one. It was here we met up with Fi again who related to us the story of Toby/Andy getting sick on her shoes before being bundled into a taxi homeward bound. Jaysus! We weren't even inside the club yet! So we only had time for one and soon enough we were upstairs in the Gaeity waiting for special brew to take the stage. Thanks Steveo for guesting us. It wasn't long before we heard the familiar introduction to One Step Beyond which saw us take immediately to the dance floor and hardly leave it till the end of their set. Despite the fact that my knee was giving me severe agro thanks to a rugby demonstration between me and Lenny in Fi's kitchen earlier I was able to give it sox.

After Special Brew we left the club and there wasn't even a mention of attempting to go home without one of the beautiful juicy kebabs on offer from Iskanders. I remember ordering and standing back against the wall waiting for my food and clutching my ticket when instantly the big black security guy grabs it off me and thrusts a bag of greasy food into my hand. Although slightly bewildered I wasn't going to argue. After all, it is supposed to be fast food. I just hadn't banked on faster than the speed of light food. Anyway a new problem faced us upon leaving Iskanders. The nightlink wasn't for 20 mins and the taxi queue was abominable. We decided to veeto both these ideas and try and hail down our own taxi. A futile effort you may think but through some bizzare fluke we managed to flag a taxi down and before we knew it we were speeding down the N11 towards 30 Priory grove aka Chez Swan. It wasn't long after arriving there that we launched into our respective kebabs faster than you can say dodgy Turkish crime syndicate. Just then Maria came bursting in full of life (and alcohol ;-) and proceeded to make a sandwich. She couldn't believe her luck when she opened the fridge to find a beautiful big bowl of homemade guacamole sitting there waiting for her! She shlapped it on her sandwich just as I realised she was eating into our stash for tomorrow. "No!", I exclaimed. It was all mellow once I explained everything to her but I still had a need to check exactly how much she had taken. I plucked the bowl from the fridge and it promptly slipped between my fingers and hit the floor with a muffled smash. Disaster. The bowl had smashed into half the bowl plus a million other bits. Remarkably the guacamole seemed to all be in the half bowl still intact with very little of it on the floor. Spying an opportunity to recover the delicious dip I picked up the half bowl only to let it slip through my fingers again! This time it did smash into smithereens. We were all astonished and all stood there staring for a good time before anybody said anything. Somehow there was still scope to save a small amount and so I did before throwing the damaged bowl and guacamole in the bin. It seemed like a good time to hit the sack and so we did. Unfortunately while lying in bed I took the opportunity to send a few drunken texts including several to Fi who was sleeping across the hall!??!

The next day had been planned in advance as the best hangover day ever. It started out with a quick fill in the memory blanks session with Maria and Fi before a nice stroll in the cool morning air over to Tesco for hangover day ingredients. The shopping list included the makings of a new guacamole as I was damned if I was going to go without it. Once back I whipped up a new batch in no time. Fi had been busy cleaning while I was gone and was now putting together the mother of all fry-ups. The fry was welcomed warmly by our suffering bodies and afterwards we retired to the dvd room for an afternoon of dvds, chips and dip. The first dvd on the list was Freaky Friday starring a quite dyke like Jamie Lee Curtis and an innocent Lindsey Lohan. This was followed by 1.5 episodes of Extras which brought us up to 5.15 - kick off time for the crucial top of the group clash between Munster and Sale in the Heineken cup. Munster needed a win plus a bonus point to even be in with a chance to attain home advantage in the quarter final. Three beautiful tries came in the first half and at half time it appeared Munster had the game sewn up. All they needed was a fourth try in the second half and make sure Sale didn't get within 7 points of them. Easy! In true Munster style they decided to leave the scoring of this crucial try till the 82nd minute!!! Phew. I was sure I would die of a heart attack right there the suspense was killing me so much. Still an awesome performance form Munster and Sale were completely put off by the passion of the Munster fans and the power of the Munster pack. Final Score - Munster 31 - 9 Sale. At some stage during the match Lenny turned up and now that the match was over he was making outrageous demands! He wanted food but needed it stat as he had to get a bus at 8.20! Well he got it and afterwards we left together but went our separate ways. The excitement of the past 24 hours had taken it's toll and the only place I was fit for was the couch/bed. Still, what a way to celebrate a week of not drinking!

Now away with ye...

Don't go breaking my heart - Karaoke!

2006-01-15T20:23:00.000Z

After witnessing the thrashing of Glasgow by Leinster I headed for a bus. It was Ali's girlfriend Leonard's birthday and we were celebrating with all you can eat Mongolian BBQ followed by Karaoke. The meeting time was 9pm which was far too later for me to go without a drink and so I met Fi at 7.45 for a few pre-pints. We headed for a couple in the Porter House where we had a serious discussion about life and our future together as travelling buddies. Around 9 it was on to the Mongolian BBQ we went. Everybody else was already there and it was just then I regretted eating before going out. Everyone else was up getting all you can eat and I was left sitting there on my own like a tit. I had to order a couple of samosas to make up for it. After some food, discussion and a 1L Stellas (and wisecracks directed at Ali's haircut or lack thereof) we went on to the Karaoke bar on Exchequer st. We were about an hour earlier for our booked slot at midnight and so availed of the cheap Spanish wine on sale. This was the turning point of the night for Fi and I and I'm still trying to determine if it was in fact a sensible idea. Shortly after midnight we headed down to our pre-booked booth where we were hijacked by a group of middle-aged English tourists. Adopting a sort of "embrace the foreginers" policy we welcomed them with open arms. However, a few minutes later the novelty wore off and we laid it down like it was. One more song then they had to piss off. So out came Mack the Knife and a bloody good version of it too. As soon as he was finished though he was booted out faster than you can say cheesy 50's crooner. Once we had the booth to ourselves we let loose with a rip roaring tribute to 80's and 90's music. Featured songs included Total eclipse of the heart, Boom shake the room, Wake me up before you go go, Bohemian Rhapsody, Copa Cobana and several others. The time flew and after a few calls up to the bar via the wall mounted phone for more cheap wine and that elusive "4th book" it was suddenly 2am. Standing on the street in high spirits we decided to split up with Myself, Fi, Eleanor and Wigs heading for 4 Dame Lane and the others back to Ailbhe's. The memory becomes slightly sketchy from here on in. We managed to make it into 4 Dame Lane even with the unwieldy wine cooler I had pinched from the Karaoke bar. Myself and Fi decided to continue the night's theme of cheap bad wine however after half a glass I realised this wasn't happening for me and abandoned that idea in favour of a reassuring guinness. Fi was slightly displeased at this although she made light work of the entire bottle minus the half glass I had already drunk. Of course after leaving 4 Dame Lane the only logical destination was Iskanders. The kebab went down well and the four of us headed for a nightlink. Three of us made it to Fiona's with Wigs reneging. Shortly after alighting the nightlink in Stillorgan, Fi slipped, fell and cut her knee 5 year old style! It was a proper graze and it hurt Fi as she reminded us again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again! Back at Fi's we ploughed into a few more Heinekens while Fi continuously complained about her sore knee. After suggesting that she clean her knee for the umpteenth time Fi finally took my advice on board. But she didn't clean in the conventional go-to-the-bathroom-wash-it-with-a-piece-of-cotton-wool-and-antiseptic way. No our Fi had to adopt her own drunken method of first aid. This involved standing in her kitchen with one foot in the sink and the other on the ground in her skirt while running the tap over the wound! I can't describe how funny and random this looked. Anyway shortly after that Maria came in from 92 and I had good fun slagging her about her inebriated state from the night before. After a few more beers we crawled into bed around 6.30. The next day saw the best hangover day ever. After Eleanor left myself and Fi headed up to Stillorgan for dvds, MacDonalds, Chips and dip. Arriving back we rooted ourselves firmly underneath a big duvet on Fi's couch with a pint of Coca Cola each. We started watching the first DVD (Guess who starring Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac) but it soon became clear this was not a good film. We decided to embrace it and give it the benefit of the doubt by finding something funny about it but 15 minutes later it was obvious this was not going to happen. The film was shocking and apalling and not even bad enough to laugh at. It was downright miserable and I found myself apologising profusely to Fi for my poor choice of film for the second time this week. Just then Sarah and Nik arrived and so we decided to shlap on the second film - How to lose a guy in 10 days. A chick flick that I'm sorry to say I found surprisingly entertaining and fun. :-$ I was disappointed to have to leave half way through and as such never got to find out the ending. So I headed for the bus with a mild headache and a wine cooler tucked firmly under my arm in anticipation of another long week of college.

Now away with ye...

Castres 9 - 46 Munster

2006-01-14T20:56:00.000Z

College had finished at 3pm today (Friday 13th Jan) and I was hanging around the computer rooms working on my final year project. Despite getting quite a bit of work done I couldn't help the feeling of impending doom at the back of my mind due to an important Heineken Cup group match between Castres and Munster falling on a Friday 13th. I had plans to watch the match in the Woolshed Baa and Grill with the German (I was there with Louise the previous night and noted they were showing it) but he cancelled on me mid afternoon. BASTAD! So in between bits of my project I was texting people to try and find a match watching partner without sounding too desparate. Thankfully good old Emsy came to my rescue. She said she would meet me at 7.30 in the bar which was 10 minutes before kick off. At 7 I headed up to Parnell st to scout out a good spot in front of the big screen. It was just after arriving that a text from Ems informed me she would be at least 15 mins late. No matter. I was comfortable on my stool with a pint of guinness, clothed in a brand shiny new Munster jersey betwixt two other alcoholic loners, each with a similar fanatical devotion to the Munster rugby as me. It was half time before Ems turned up with her American cousin Anna-Rose or some ship sounding name. The score at this stage was Castres 9 - 13 Munster. Dodgy considering Castres were playing at home and within a try of taking the lead. However fears were laid to rest when Munster came back after the break with guns blazing which led to a stomping 46-9 victory! 7 tries meaning almost 2 bonus points for Munster. This means the match against Sale next Saturday is of utmost importance and will decide who gets home advantage in the quarter finals. So shortly after the match finished Colleee arrived and we watched the very worst of Aussie rules while waiting for Clare to pick us up in her car. Recent texting with Claire established she was in Doyles with Lisa and so we went there to meet them. A few pints later it was approaching midnight and I had to nip over to college to rescue my bike lest I not be able to cycle home later. It was while doing so that I bumped into a rather inebriated Maria Swan. She invited me to a shindig at chez swan on Sunday and insisted that she was the smartest, hottest Swan sister, a claim that Fi incessantly refutes. Back at Doyles, the girls and Colleee were waiting for me outside. It was decided that a pokey little place called Hartigans on Leeson st was to be our next port of call. The reason? A guy Emsy fancies sometimes goes there! It was a long shot but nevertheless we headed up. Clare, Colleee, Ems and Anna-Rose by car and me on two wheels. I was cycling up and down the street for some time looking for Hartigans when it suddenly dawned on me that I was on Baggot St! For some reason I had got the two streets mixed up. I still managed to arrive at Hartigans earlier than the others albeit a lot wetter! Hartigans was gas! Four ridiculously bright fluorescent lights provided illumination for the pub and the barman was less than impressed with the American we had in tow. Needless to say we only stayed for one - partly due to the pub's imminent closure. Turfed out on our ears we wandered for miles while trying to decide where to go next. After a few showers later, the Odeon was chosen. Just inside were the toilets which were welcomed by all especially Clare (I'm surprised she managed to keep it in this time ;-) actually I'm sure I commented as such at the time.) Being blokes, myself and Col were out in record time and while waiting for the girls my Munster jersey was met with some slight hostility. It was then I heard a crash and turning I noticed a girl had dropped a glass and was trying to pick it up. When she stood up I couldn't help notice her height. She was a giant! After complementing her on her height we struck up a conversation in which I ascertained her height to be 6'2" or 6'4" with the boots she was wearing. Well I never! I found myself incredibly attracted to her and was about to make my move when her drunken boss appeared on the scene who was less than impressed with my Munster jersey. He started asking me to talk to the tall girl because he couldn't. I jokingly told him to tell me what he wanted to say and I would tell her to which he replied with a completely straight face "What?" I repeated my statement which sounded less funny the second time and received the same reply but with a more hostile face. I was getting slightly worried at this stage and anticipating a scene. He must have noticed this for he suddenly smiled and insisted he was just messing with me. That was fine but he playfully punched me thrice in the stomach which winded me and destroyed any chances I had with the tall girl. I notice Col and the girls had abandoned me (thanks guys) and so I headed up the stairs to find them. One thing I couldn't help noticing was the amount of hot and tall girls in the place. Where had the Odeon been all my life?! We found a few comfortable seats although it wasn't long before the girls were up dancing. General craic was had and we left after a few hours in search of some kebabs. As before I cycled down to Iskanders followed closely by Clare and her crew in the car. I had to wait outside Iskanders for ages for them to arrive and had already finished m'garlic fries by the time they did. Several kebabs were ordered and swiftly eaten although in Emsy's case it was Humous. It was 3.30am or thereabouts and so I bid my pals adieu. The cycle home was tough with a strong wind against me and a heavy laptop on my back. A welcome shower after I got home sent me into a deep welome sleep.

Now away with ye...

Alright guys. Here's the full 4-6-6!

2006-01-10T19:50:00.000Z

It's been a while. 10 days in fact. I guess I felt nothing particularly special worth writing about had occurred but that's not the point. Lemme see... I'm 100 big ones poorer but at the gain of a guaranteed spot on a 14 day trip of carnage to Bodrum, Turkey on September 17th. I apologise in advance to anyone not coming on the trip for the in-jokes that will result. There have already been a few! But it's your own fault for not coming and I'm damn well not gonna not engage in reminiscing when we come back just beacuase you can't scrape together a couple of quid and come to Turkey and have babies with me. Actually the day we paid the deposit was one of the craziest days I have been involved in. Largely due to the fact that Clare was on some sort of performance enhancing drugs and the pre holiday excitement that gripped us all didn't help. While shopping for lunch to be eaten at Clare's Emsy came out with another quality one liner: "I'm so easily pleased. Ooh! Sugar Puffs!" - emma doyle, 6/1/06 14:30 Thanks to Clare I was reimbursed for the raw bloody chicken olive I was sold in Spar. Arriving at Karen's to pick up hers and Colleeeeees deposits I was promptly sexually assaulted by the powerpoint's dog with his large member.

There was a further incident in the car on the way to the powerpoint's house the heart of which Clare was at. Unfortunately the details can only be known by the Turkey 6. Noone else can know unless annual subs of €466 are paid ;-) Emsy's Naive little world was torn apart when she learned the horrid truth that Happy Apartments is just a name and the place is not in fact invulnerable to the bird flu. This really is a shocking entry. No real substance or depth to it. Largely due to a hangover and lack of sleep. Bah... I'm just gonna publish it now and maybe add to it at a later date. I can't do this right now!

Now away with ye...

Just Friends

2006-01-10T13:33:00.000Z

Met Fi at front arch of Trinity at 5.45 pm to head over to Cineworld (formerly UGC) for a Monday evening flick. Little did I know of the pub crawl that the night would turn into. Walking up to Parnell St a heated debate began over which film to see. It was Match Point versus Just Friends. I really wanted to see the latter but suspect that had something to do with the casting of a certain Ms Smart as the girl. So I finally won Fi over using my boyish charm since we were a tad early we stopped in McDonalds for some sustanance(??!!). It was here, over a big mac meal, that Fi recalled all the gory details of her week of debauchery in Edinburgh for new year's. Sounded like quite the messy one. Next it was into the film. I received looks of intense "I told you so" from Fi throughout the film and as such apologised to her after for not going to see match point. Still the night was young and throats were dry so we headed to the venue of a previous night many years ago - Madigan's drinking emporium. That's a laugh! It's an old man's pub on O'Connell st hyped up by the name to be a social venue that it clearly isn't. Still the old manness of it is part of the attraction and we had the craic gossiping over a couple of Britney Spears. After swapping our respective new year's eve stories we headed for the Porter House, calling in the services of the German on the way. He arrived shortly with two other Germans and a Frenchman. "I've just come from the cinema", he declared. "We saw match point. It was brilliant!" Ouch! I felt the glare from Fi pierce through my body before I even lookby manipulating color and value. So, pictures to come as the project gets further along and more picture worthy, all I have right now is wet fabric in buckets.

Yarn Harlot has proposed a knitting olympics, and I am extremely tempted to participate, against my better judgement of course. I don't know when I'll have time to knit, or you know, sleep, eat, breathe. I want to knit the skating queen skirt from Knitty for my sister's birthday. I haven't officially joined yet, because I am afraid to commit to something and then come February, not have time to knit it and then feel obligated to knit instead of do physics homework, or instead of working on textiles or something else important. And, the most exciting use of my time is... drum roll... Chris Roberts Antieau has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe. u has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe.

Ok for some reason some randomers blog has become merged with mine. I'd love to know if the randomer has the end of my blog because it took me feckin ages! Still reckon I'll leave it in coz it's kinda random and funny and besides I can't be arsed writing any more.

Now away with ye...

New Year's Eve 05/06

2006-01-02T00:18:00.000Z

Met Colleeeeee outside The Graduate at 7.20 or thereabouts. We headed to the recently re-named EuroSpar to stock up on booze for the night. For some reason I had it in my head that I had to drink Malibu and nothing was going to change my mind. It soon became clear that the only bottles of Malibu sold in EuroSpar were the midgety 20cl ones. Clearly not enough! After much consideration, I almost decided to settle for some bacardi, a poor substitution for the seriously easy going taste of Malibu. It was just then that I spotted it. The reassuring white neck of a 70cl bottle of Malibu standing tall and proud like a soldier cleverly hidden behind a bottle of Pimms. I knew I would eventually find Malibu and promptly bought it. As it happens, it was worth looking for as the bottle was accompanied by a free promotional Shaggy mini cd. This was slightly worrying as it probably meant the bottle was dangerously out of date however I reasoned with myself that being out of date would probably add to the seriously easy going experience. So content with the Malibu and two subsequently acquired cartons of tropical juice (there was no pineapple juice), Colleeee and I headed back out to the Graduate to wait for Joanne to pick us up. She arrived 5 minutes later in Mark's car and as we got in the car I was given a stern talking to by Mark for sitting in the front. People just don't appreciate the torture associated with long legged people sitting in the back of cars. On our way back to Joanne's via Karine's, I became concerned that Joanne's freezer would not contain enough ice for the several dozen malibu and tropical juices I was planning on drinking. My solution was to call Emsy who was due to arrive in Joanne's house soon and put in an order for several boxes of ice cubes. As it turns out Joanne's fridge was more than adequately stocked with ice and Emsy arrived with enough ice to freeze an army. Ah well, you can never have enough ice! I also discovered that ice has more than one use when I got an enjoyable reaction from skillfully throwing an ice cube betwixed Emsy's breasts. Several glasses of malibu and an uncountable number of renditions of KT Toadstool's Black Horse and a Cherry Tree later, we travelled to Cakes' through the medium of Joanne's, Clare's and Al's respective cars. I accompanied Karine and Lombard in Jo's car and as always insisted on travelling with the roof off.

From the moment I arrived at Cakes' there was an unbearable pressure on me to score Karine. People seemed a little too disappointed at our lack of public displays of affection but I'm sorry. I just can't work under those kind of conditions! Soon after arriving at Cakes' we attempted a dangerous stunt that could have potentially ended in several broken backs. Lucky Karine was too chicken to go through with it and therefore probably saved us all from spending the rest of our lives drinking dinner through a straw. Having not bought any beer due to my earlier mission to drink malibu, I found myself at a bit of a loose end. I was suffering from serious beer withdrawl symptoms and the sickly sweet taste of malibu was not agreeing with me. I made up with beer and promised it I would never leave it again. The only problem was I had none! I spotted a near full crate of MGD on the table that blatantly wasn't mine. I was too sober to have a small enough conscience to steal one myself and so sent Emsy on a special mission to test her courage and stamina. She passed the mission which resulted in a nice cool MGD in my hand.

Midnight passed without any major incidents. Don't remember much after that. Apparently myself and Karine tried to make babies while fully clothed. Also I remember calling Stef from Colleee's phone pretending to be Col but have no idea what I said to her :-/As always photos/memories from the night would be most welcome.

Now away with ye...

Christmas Eve Eve drinks

2005-12-24T04:06:00.000Z

Hi! What's the craic? Just a quick rundown on tonight before I head to bed. Linton Ice Tea was the star of the night. A great quote from Emsy the other night as well. "I wish I was born in the eighties!!!!" Erm... Ok Ems! Keep up the good work! Anyway there's a lot more to say. Keep watching the skies! Btw what is the plural of ski? And what's the plural of sky? If they are both the same and somebody says "keep watching the skies" then how is anybody suposed to differentiate the two long flat things from the big blue cloudy thing??!!!!??

The previous paragraph was written at the height of drunkeness after returning from the punchbowl. Thought I'd better leave it in for completion.

So anyway there we were, three handsome young twenty-somethings, each armed with a secret santa pressie, strolling into Wong's of Monkstown at 6pm for a nice romantic meal. As we were shown to our seats, we were subjected to a bout of harsh slagging from the hostess who cruelly made fun of us being 3 men at dinner together on Christmas eve eve all holding presents. Deciding on what to order was tricky. We couldn't decide whether to have duck, duck or duck. In the end we went with duck. Good duck. After the meal we strolled to Monkstown dart station but not before stopping in spar to admire the scantily clad Orlaith from BB6 on the cover of In Dublin. Just before arriving at the dart station, a call from the hostess at Wong's informed us of my misplaced jumper. Frankly I think the walk back to Wong's to get it did us good although the grumblings of Ali and Wig would suggest they did not share my feelings on this matter.

When we finally arrived at Ye Olde Punchbowl, the misplaced jumper no longer mattered. We were the first to arrive anyway and ordered our pints with great enthusiasm. Eventually more showed up and we invaded an entire section of the pub. This didn't matter as the rest of the pub was relatively quiet and the waiting staff were more than happy to tend to our every need and take our generous tips. Once all the participants in the Secret Santa had arrived, Sam the Bastad Santa handed us our gifts. Overall people were pretty pleased with what they got. I was delighted with my t-shirt that quiet aptly describes me in 3 wonderful adjectives. (Thanks Karine!!! We never got around to scoring though...) Arguably the most contraversial yet popular gift was Ali's stuffed 'wog. I think everyone at some stage got to spend some quality time with Linton and when he wasn't being sociable, he was being lynched from a high shelf. There was a great turnout at the Punchbowl that night with people from all walks of life. Even the gay community were represented with their most prominent ambasssador - Alard! The conversation was magic and I seem to remember enlisting the persuasive skills of Col and Danny to convey the beauty of Lost to my bro. Another conversation that sticks in my head was a lengthy one with Trish R.E. Aideen. Don't remember what exactly what was said apart from a mild hostility to news that she has a new boyfriend.

The Punchbowl stayed open till around 2.30, possibly for our benefit although not entirely sure. Upon leaving, several of us made use of an 8-seater taxi to bring us to Abrekebabra, Dun Laoghaire. On the way, the driver was treated to the extended mix of the definitive drunken version of Fairytale of New York, a capella! As we approached Abrakebabra, we noticed two rather large black bouncers outside. It was then Ali realised with horror the stuffed toy contained within his hand. The coal black face, the round white eyes, the fat red lips! There was only one thing to do. Linton was savagely stuffed up Ali's coat just in time. Sitting down eating our food, I loudly insisted that Ali whip out the 'wog under his jacket. Turning bright red he mumbled something about not knowing what I was talking about and resumed eating his "food", no doubt willing me to shut the hell up! Thankfully I did and turned my attention to stabbing Col with plastic cutlery. Such was the force of the stabbing attack that every individual stab snapped the piece of cutlery into several pieces. This eventually led to a shard of white plastic becoming lodged in my right pinky. That was the end of that little game! We left Abrakebabra without further incident and headed for Marine Rd to grab a taxi or two. To my outrage, the girls took the first taxi that came and I vaguely remember voicing my outrage to anyone who would listen for quite a while after that. When another taxi arrived I forgot all about it and I accompanied my brother, Alard and Col to home.

Arriving home, I encountered my mother in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Apparently I was adament that my mum have the best night's sleep EVER and insisted to her that she do several million times before she returned to bed. A great night out but I want to know one thing. How did I end up with Stef's USIT card in my wallet??!! Perhaps I can use it to bribe her into giving me a kiss on the lips next time I see her.

Now away with ye...

Emsy's 21st

2005-12-19T16:53:00.000Z

Phew! What a night. It all began around 5pm on Saturday evening when Joris and Lenny arrived at my gaff. We settled down with a few beers to watch Munster V Newport. A close match in the end that could have gone either way for a while. Concrete Colleeee arrived half way through and afterwards we watched some music dvds until the taxi arrived to take us to the 40ft. After a couple of creamy pints with the boy and his girl, we hijacked another taxi to take us up to Ems'. The place looked amazing! A large marquee took up the entire courtyard and had cool Christmassy lights in the celing and loads of balloons everywhere. Everyone was dressed up to the nines and I thought I was looking particularly dashing. Most importantly, there were 2 kegs of Heineken and a keg of Guinness in the corner which I became well acquainted with throughout the course of the night. A delicious Thai green curry was served. The seconds tasted even better and the thirds even better again! At some stage throughout the night, Aily decided she had had enough of Alard's Busted hairstyle and boldly walked right up to him and chopped a piece off while Col was distracting him. She consequently wore it round her neck for good luck.

There was big drama as Alard was leaving when he couldn't find his camera. Relief followed when he found it but in fairness to him it was well hidden. I mean, how many people would think to look in their own pockets?! For some reason everybody kept mistaking Col for Byron (Poor Byron!!!) and earned Col the nickname for the night: Byron with the blazer! Some people also spent a little longer in the toilets than they perhaps would have liked to. A nice dip in the freezing cold Irish sea the next morning helped clear up any traces of a headache. Anyone else got any pics/anecdotes?

Now away with ye...

Christmas dinner with Lin and Lis

2005-12-15T19:21:00.000Z

HOYYYYYYYY! How is everybody! Or is it how are everybody? No I think the first one. So anyway on Tuesday I had Christmas dinner with Luscious Lin and Lavish Lisa. Chicken and sprouts were the Lin's reponsibility, Lisa got mushy peas, mashed potato and stuffing while I was landed with roast potatoes, carrots and parsenips. I made a delicious mixed carrot and parsenip mash and enough roast spuds to feed an army. They were as crispy as er... crisps. So anyway while I was blasting the shite out of them in the oven I took out a plastic container in which to place them upon conclusion of their roasting. Not realising I hadn't turned off one of the gas hobs from when I was boiling the carrots/parsenips, I put the container down right on top of a naked flame. By the time the sickly smell of molten plastic reached my nostrils it was too late. The container was ruined and once I turned off the gas, the plastic instantly cooled and the hob became encrusted with a layer of clear plastic. Being in a rush I hastily scrawled a warning note for my family lest they cook with that hob later on and contract a mild case of plastic poisoning.

So then I left my gaff for college to finish off my SDD code review then it was on to work to work for two hours for Alban who couldn't make it in till 6. As soon as he arrived at 6, I hot footed it over to Lin's quicker than you could say soggy roast potatoes which funnily enough was the status off the roast potatoes I had previously made. Determined not to let that spoil our evening, we proceeded to eat the dinner along with a very dodgy lumpy gravy. Kudos to Mrs. Lisa on the stuffing! Afterwards, we were honoured with the company of Lenny (Yes! Lenny Von Scheel! The drummer from score!) A few cans of tuborg and some highly dodgy, potentially illegal, cheap Aldi wine later, we were headed for Voodoo Lounge to a charity gig Belinda's friends had organised as part of her masters. Walking through Trinity whilst consuming cans of Tuborg got us in trouble with campus security. Once out of Trinity, we decided to get a taxi on account of it being 1 degree. Due to the close proximity of Voodoo, the first taxi driver refuse to take us. The second driver entertained us all the way there with stories of how the first taxi driver's loss was his gain and how it's illegal to refuse customers who on the basis of their journey being too short.

Voodoo was pretty dead but we were there for a good case so in we went purchasing 5 raffle tickets each on the way. (I bought 10) Had a guinness or two and along came the raffle. Does anybody else think it's typical that I bought 10 raffle tickets and won sod all while the German won 2 prizes with his 5 measly tickets?! Bah. I wouldn't want a €25 Golden Discs voucher or a shower radio anyway! Once the raffle was finished the DJ kicked up and as we looked around we realised with bemusement that everyone was gone except for us! So we quietly slipped out and headed for somewhere guaranteed to be fun. Doyles. Turned out to be another UN convention in Doyles again with people from far and wide in attendance. Guinness was drunk and banter was had. At the end of the night, we were kicked out and to my horror I realised I coudn't remember for the life of me where I had left my bag. Not too concerned with the bag but more with the iPod inside it I began to freak out. Lenny, being the gentleman that he is, went back inside and somehow emerged 5 minutes later with the bag and a smug grin. Phew!

So on back to try and sneak into Goldsmith hall we went as I hadn't been signed in. But not before stopping on the way for a sweet chilli chicken baguette courtesy of burger king. We stopped outside Goldsmith and concocted a crazy story about me being an immigrant from Sligo and needing a bed for the night. Much time was spent synchronising stories and all for nothing! The security guard, the git, wasn't at his desk. Hoorah! So in we went and drank water while talking apparently quite loudly in Lenny's common area. One final, surreal part to the night was the head of a golliwog hanging from the curtain rail! Lenny, reading my disbelieving expression, explained that his flatmate Richard tends to develop violent tendancies when drunk, the most recent occurence being racially motivated and resulting in a decapitated wog. Richard for president!

I put that last pic in because I think I look damn sexy

Now away with ye...

Queen Ali

2005-12-09T00:29:00.000Z

Will fill more in here in due course but just had to pay immediate tribute to the drunken (gay) boy that is Ali. Good work dude! Keep it up!

So basically we were at a Queen tribute band in the buttery and Alard turned up smashed! "Take your knickers off!", he roared at a passing security guard. It was only half way through the support band's third song that Ali smelled a rat. "Grum!", he yelled. "I thought this was supposed to be a Queen tribute band!" Nice one dude. Finally, when the Queen band did start and "Freddie" walked out into the middle of the floor while singing a song, Ali jumped up to take a photo up close. But as he got there, "Freddie" walked back to the stage leaving Ali standing in the middle of the floor armed with a digital camera before scurrying back to his seat.

The band were actually deadly too. Much beer was spilt and many balances lost.

Now away with ye...

Law Soc Party in the Vaults

2005-12-07T02:56:00.000Z

Not good. (Nicht einfach klasse)

Now away with ye... (Gehen Sie nach Hause)

Clare's gaff & turks head

2005-12-04T22:30:00.000Z

After Froddo Baggins' induction into present arms, an affair that spanned six cans of quality Dutch lager, I met Lenny outside TBMC. We strolled up Dame street with Clare and Mark's apartment as our destination. I don't know how but I left TBMC carrying all my gear and by the time we arrived at Clare's (via a dodgy off license for more quality Dutch lager) Lenny was carrying all the gear. Still no better man for the job and I took advantage of him struggling to put down the gear by running to the toilet ahead of him. I emerged from the toilet one metal pole the richer and placed myself firmly on a comfy cushion with a cool can of Tuborg. The Late Late Show Toy Show was on and I found myself having a long in depth conversation with Clare's sister Judy about Jamiroquai. The room was set up perfect for a soiree. Everything was there - beer, pringles, right down to the big bowl of condoms on the table! Clare explained she got them free from work. Sure Clare! We believe you! Share the wealth, that's what I say. Disecting mine and Hazel's relationship with Goong was another highlight. Eventually Clare managed to round us up to head out. But where to? The Palace was suggested and as soon as Clare heard there would be 17 year olds there she reacted appropriately by screaming "Go on 17 year olds!" Thankfully some other people were more together and we ended up walking to the Mezz.

On the way down, Lombard Direct and Goong went into Number 1 shop for credit and God knows what else. While waiting outside for them, I heard a strange grating sound eminating from the little Thai girl beside me. "oighsdaoiagasdoig" she said. "ZXCXCXCVXOVOFOSF!!" What the fudge was going on?! She was trying to tell me something and I eventually made out that she was telling me that she was coughing and pissing at the same time! Well I had never seen or heard anything like that before and frankly the whole thing freaked me out a little. It was then I realised that thanks to aforementioned quality Dutch lager I may not remember this unique moment in my life the following day. One carefully placed call to Colleee sorted that out and I continued on my merry way. Upon arriving at The Mezz, we discovered to our dismay that the place was closed till next week. Shite. It being quite late, I remembered that the Viper Room stayed open late on weekends. The others weren't too happy about wandering round looking for the Viper room so I volunteered to be the scout party. After 5 minutes of intense searching I drew a blank and decided to return to the others. Upon my return, they had come across a lost light weight New York chick who was asleep on a bollard. Every attempt was made to locate her hostel and just as we found a taxi who knew where her hostel was, Colleee received the following text message:

"The number you requested for "JACOBS INN" is "018555660". Thank you for calling 11811."

It was then that an executive decision was made to go to Turks Head. My what a treat lay in store for us there! As many free postcards as we could eat! (Sample postcard on right) The logical thing, of course, was to locate a pen and write drunken postcards to friends who couldn't attend the evening - and some who were there! We soon realised that our efforts were futile as we had no stamps until... Graham opens his wallet and what falls out? 5 x 48c stamps!!! What are the odds? So out came the tongue, on go the stamps and into the back pocket for postage later. Then it was up for some fairly dodgy drunken dancing. It being the time of year that it is, the music finished with a couple of classic Christmas songs. Forced out onto the cold hard streets of Temple Bar by the bouncers, we proceeded to the only logical destination - Iskanders! After getting outside of a juicy lamb kebab, I felt the need to re-christen Colleee as Concrete Colleee. This is a tribute to the Specials song Concrete Jungle. My next memory is of me and the newly named Concrete Colleee singing the lyrics to concrete jungle at the top of our voices - "You're going home in a fucking amblance. You're gonna get your fucking heads kicked in!" The only problem is Collee swears he wasn't there when I did that which begs the question - who was the bloke I had my arm around and singing with??!! :-/

Apparently Concrete Colleee's journey home was not without its entertainment. The ambulance on the left is the aforementioned one from the Specials song that I was seemingly destined to go home in. His walk over to the northside saw a girl outside Spirit snorting coke from an ATM card! And I'm not talking about the high caffeine, high sugar carbonated drink kids. It was about now that I left the others for my faithful nightlink stop where I waited listening to Jamiroquai. BANG! Something had crashed into me and I didn't know what it was! Looking down I saw a man on the ground who had obviously run straight into me. He was scrabbling to get up quick but the more he scrabbled the more he slipped and fell down again. He finally managed to get up and resume running when BANG! the drunken fool crashes straight into a bus stop! This was met by howls of derisive laugher from innocent bystanders. The poor sod tried to get up but was met with the same problem of the scrabbling/slipping trade off as before. As he finally managed to get up and ran round the corner out of my life forever (hopefully) I felt a strange sense of pity for him. Just then my nightlink turned up and I boarded the vomit comet bound for home. Once home, I turned on my laptop to keep a date I had made earlier in the evening with Colleee to chat to him on MSN. In Col's true drunken thievery that we all love him for, he managed to swipe several thousand postcards from the pub. Not sure what he's gonna do with them all mind. Perhaps he could go about proving my much debated postcard theory. Not getting much response out of Col, I then attempted to chat up a hot 31 year old chick on a dating site. Suffice to say I haven't heard from her yet.

A great night out that would not be complete without mentioning a certain explicit text message intended for Ali but sent to Concrete Colleee. The content of this message will remain locked inside my brain and can only be unlocked using a special key (Any form of alcohol will do really...)

Now away with ye...

The Brendan Courtney Show & XXI with Ze Germans

2005-11-29T18:08:00.000Z

Monday 28th November 2005, 4.50pm, sitting in a Management Accounting tutorial in Áras an Phiarsaig. The anticipation of a pint in McDaid's with Fi, Lenny and his mates is giving me the jitters. No sooner had our lecturer uttered his closing remarks about Product Specific Activity Based Costing than I was out the door and tearing up Grafton St in the general direction of McDaid's. Lenny, GayOrg and Stefan were clearly already in high spirits no doubt due to the early commencement of the drinking session. After one swift pint, myself, Col and Fi left for Howl at the Moon where the Brendan Courtney Show was being filmed, via McDonald's for a quick fix of the old reliable eurosaver menu. We met Emsy in the queue outside eating a bag of popcorn. Unfortunately the chemical properties of the popcorn caused her tongue piercing to fall out on not one but two occasions! Lucky good ol' Grum was there to screw it back in.

On our way in we were each given a free drinks voucher. After arguing with the woman giving them out it looked for a brief second like I might get a second voucher! Alas in the end it was not to be however since Emsy wasn't drinking I was able to buy hers for the price of an orange juice. We were sitting in the bar area with our drinks waiting for the show to begin filming and just as I ordered my second we were all told to finish up our drinks and head upstairs to where it was being filmed. Bloody typical. Knocked back the drink and headed upstairs. The room was very small and only stools to sit on so not the most comfortable of situations however definitely acceptable. The warm up guy (Brendan's brother?!) was great however my larynx suffered severely from all the cheering practice. Finally Brendan appeared and the show got underway. It was hard work laughing hard at the jokes when sometimes they were only mildly amusing or not funny at all. The guests were a gardener, a chef and a TV presenter. Good craic but was well in need of a drink by the end which came only after multiple takes of Brendan's entrance.

Leaving Howl at the Moon we headed for Doyles to meet up with the Germans who were just leaving Abracadabra! No secret was made of the fact that they had been eating garlic fries. After a few in Doyles we migrated over to XXI, formerly Coyote Lounge. A fiver in and €3 drinks all night. It was here that things got messy. We took control of a booth consisting of soft couches and a small yet remarkably sturdy table in the middle for drinks. (See photos below) Fi somehow discovered the joys of spinning on one's head and was eager for everyone else to join in. This had inevitable consequences and the resulting carnage can be seen below. Another mission of Fi's was to run her fingers through the back of Leopold's soft silky hair and employed various somewhat unorthodox methods of doing so producing hilarious results.

Kicked out at closing time, myself and Fi ended up in Charlie's 3 for some delicious Chinese cuisine. Leaving Charlie's we swiftly obtained a taxi and steered in the direction of 30 priory grove. As always, a picture paints a thousand words so I'll leave it to the pics below to fill in the gaps.

Now away with ye...

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

2005-11-27T14:35:00.000Z

Went to the match (Ireland V Romania) with Emsy hammer and Col. A lift in from Fleur(?!) and a pair of breakfast baps from Spar before meeting Emsy and heading down to the stadium. It being Emsy's first visit to Lansdowne Rd for a sporting event (Although some would consider Robbie Williams a sporting event!) she was on top form bangin out some classic one-liners. The only one I can remember was in reference to Kieran Campbell when he tackled a rather large Romanian forward: "Well done, little man!" Perhaps Col could enlighten us with a few more? Emsy also reckons that Ronan OGara must never get constipation from constantly squatting the way he does. One can only wonder what Emsy smokes for breakfast.

Thanks to another lift from the lovely Fleur(?!) myself and Col arrived at Emsy hammer's around 9pm heavily armed with Bavaria and WKD blue. After some friendly banter with her and Clare over some 6month old Indian takeaway and a bowl of popcorn we retired to the front room to watch the exorcism of yer one Emily Rose. Nothing much else happened between then and goin home save some more excellent lines from Emsy and Clare, none of which I can remember! Col - help me out here again! Clare did, however, make out with the video player. Not a particularly exciting entry for the blog but included for completion and clarity.

Now away with ye...

Rob's 21st

2005-11-26T18:39:00.000Z

It is amazing how much work you can actually get done when you put your mind to it - and when you have a bottle of red wine at your disposal! This held true for me last night as I found myself sitting in the computer rooms of the TCD Statistics Department working on my final year project accompanied by a glass (Sorry - paper cup) of Redser's dodgy Californian wine. I have never worked so efficiently before in my life and as such am eager to try this method again soon. Anyway as the deadline for the 7.30 bus to Ballyboden drew alarmingly close, myself, Si and Redser decided it was finally time to leave and meet Niall and Pamela for the treacherous journey into the sticks. This, of course, had nothing at all to do with the recent calls from Pamela at two minute intervals wondering where the hell we were and when we were going to head to the bus stop. No journey to the bus stop would be complete without a stop off at Centra for supplies of Bushmills whiskey, Bavaria and Airwaves. Fully stocked, we proceeded to meet the others. Dublin Bus being Dublin Bus, the 49 was inevitabely late. Despite much worrying on Pamela's behalf and much insistance from Redser to head to O'Neill's for a quick one, we managed to all board the bus. The journey was somewhat uneventful save Blathnaids new friendship with a drunk old Northern Irish bloke at the back of the bus.

We were the first to arrive at the venue - St. Enda's GAA club in Ballyboden. The place filled up soon enough and eventually the food appeared much to the relief of a starving MSISS class. Chicken, chips and salad and a shit load of buttered bread - brown and white! This was followed by a medley of 70s tunes by Rob's two Uncles on keyboards and drums respectively. It was then that I was invited on stage by Rob's younger brother to play bass on a few numbers. DISASTER! I was managing alright for the first couple till we started to play Sunshine of your Love. Thinking I was sorted because I knew the song I launched into it with great enthusiasm. It was only towards the end of the song that I heard someone calling my name. I turned around - it was Rob's keyboard playing Uncle. What was he saying? I couldn't make it out above the din! Why was he saying "It's Indie! It's Indie!"?? *click* He's saying "It's in D, It's in D!" I looked down at my bass and realised with horror that I had been playing the song in E all this time and the din I was hearing was a result of my error. TOTAL 'MARE! I finished out the song in a pathetic attempt to switch to E and then quietly left the stage never to return again. Apologies to Rob's brothers who are both very talented musicians for polluting their performance with my crass mistake.

A few drinks later I had forgotten the disaster and was back on top form again. Happy Birthday, 21 kisses and birthday cake inevitabely ensued followed by much dancing. Rob, revelling in the merriment, was on flying form and managed to pull almost everybody up for a good aul dance climaxing with everybody joined in a big ring for the only song to finish a night off with - I'm gonna be (500 miles) by The Proclaimers! We left shortly after that to head to town but not before pointing out that the baby photos of Rob at the door bore a striking resemblance to a certain Departmental lecturer. All fired up for going into town, I stopped outside to give a randomer directions which was strange since I had no idea where I was myself! Turning around, EVERYONE else had left in a car! Bastads. Fine then. Didn't want to go to town with them anyway. Spotted a lone figure across the road trying to hail a taxi and upon further inspection it turned out to be Will. Good old Will.

We got a taxi together and ended up at the bottom of Cornelscourt hill. With the taxi already at 20 big ones, I decided to get out there and walk the rest. It was then I realised my proximity to Col's gaff and felt obliged to inform him of this via Short Message Sending courtesy of o2. Passing Dunnes and resisting the temptation to go in and buy roast turkey and a dvd, I arrived home around 2am. With an extra ticket to the Ireland V Romania match resting in my breast pocket, I stumbled into my parents' room and mumbled something to my Dad about did he want to come to the match. He didn't. Got into bed but not before I had a quick drunken chat with Col and Frances on MSN. Well I had a good two-way chat with Frances however the chat with Col was positively one-way and I was reminded as such on more than one occasion the following day. Getting into bed, I watched a third of the Brendan Courtney show from last Wednesday night before slipping into a deep, alcohol induced sleep.

Now away with ye...

Col's account of UCD row row row your boat ball

2005-11-21T19:33:00.000Z

Complete with original typos!

emsy was half and hour late up to the daniel day luas stop so i was waiting up there in my tux and getting the strangest looks from all the 15 year old who were coming back from town .. im pretty sure i was in there. then got to some house in raneligh and was good craic, cept we were so late that we didnt stay there long ! but had good bit of white wine. thren on to the ball ... lotsa in jokes and what not, but was still ok, was sat at a table with 7 girls ! also, 6 of them were white wine drinkers, so the obvious choice was red ! prob not the best reason now that i ithkn about it...

was food then, lots more drink and a small bit of dancing got thrown out of there bout 12.30/1ish. onto the ivy ! again, full of 12 year olds ! but was still good craic soooo funy walking in somewhere like that dressed in a tux ... people just dont know what to say or do to you. cept some random people were fixing my bow tie for me ! girls of course ! like it's the rowing club and rowing involes a cox .... so the obvious choice was the hilton. cox, paris ! get it !!! anyway ..... by the time we got out of there nad the 2 euro drnks .... me and emsy were just in a state ! Beyond 51st state.

oh was just unreal ! emsy made up stop and pet one of the horses that they have on grafton street ! we talked to wa random welsh guy and i tried to put on a welsh acccent. emsy stop in a newsagent to buy socks ! all these people were talking ot us on grafton street, and i asking were we ata debs and i was liek im 22 !! im not at no debs ! eventually got to nitelink area and then of course got a taxi. i fell asleep in taxi ! woke up next morning ... on way to toilet, parents asked was i ok, i was like yes.... well, no ! and then had a quick chat with god on the big white telephone ... first time in 3 year years

thats about it really ... was dying all day yesterday, work was not even funny ... but was sooo worth it

Now away with ye...

A quantity of quality quotes

2005-11-21T13:43:00.000Z

Although these quotes pertain to a night in Fi's gaff dated Saturday 22/10/05, they are too good to not post up. Plus I only just found them in my jacket pocket a few minutes ago.

"Fi dropped her drugs! And drugs are baaaaad!" - Col

"That's a big pile o' gee!" - Fi

"Smells like a hot water bottle in here!" - Maria

"LET'S DRINK!" - Maria

"Oh my God my ears ache from the quietness!" - Fi

"If you drink all of that I'll do something good to you." - Grum (directed at Rachel)

"You always like a gilf!" - Fi

"That stuff is devil in a bottle." - Col

"It's not a fucking charity." - Grum (re fat people)

"It's gonna be in a mug. Is that a problem?" - Fi

Fi correcting Rachel during Queen's Don't stop me now:
Rach: "Dynamite..."
Fi: "No!! Fahrenheit!!"

"I don't wanna blah blah blah!" - Fi

"Grum is gonna have a gay son." - Col's prediction for the future

"hskkkfxfkshfx" - Ice dispenser

"Dancin'..." - Rachel

"More ice pleesh" - Rachel

"You sound like you're living in the 80's, Graham." - Fi

"Is it volume-tastic?" - Fi

"i'm not annonymous. I'm COLLEEEEE!" - Col upon seeing this

I also would like to acknowledge the irritative nature of this post to anyone who wasn't there and I realise that all quotes contained herein are painfully 'in-jokes'.

Now away with ye...

Ringfire, Tori Spelling and a girl from Ballinteer

2005-11-19T21:50:00.000Z

Friday 18th November, 7:00pm and myself and Ali have our asses firmly rooted to a worryingly rickety picnic table outside The Pav. Tis interesting, we muse, that it is so early in the night yet it seems so late. So two Bavarias later we get a call from Lin and Lisa telling us they are inside and far being it from us to form an argument for staying out in the cold November air we wander in. Another couple of Bavarias each and we find ourselves on our way over to see the German in Goldsmith Hall but not before a stop off in Centra for more of the precious Bavaria.

Arriving at Lenny's, it turns out that there is some sort of United Nations drinking session underway with many Germans, a few Dutch and a girl from Ballinteer. The game: Ring of fire aka Circle of death, the object: Get quite drunk, say lots of silly things that aren't actually funny and try not get landed with having to drink the dirty pint. The dirty pint in this case started off with a splash of milk and a dash of vodka to get things going even before any kings were drawn.

The game proceeds with ridiculous rules being made including no pointing and the mandatory use of everybody's surnames. One poor bugger even got landed with a nice pair of dirty pints! A heated debate broke out at one point as to whether somebody had broken the ring or not. It still remains unresolved. Make up your own mind (See photo on left) Curiously, a graphical she-man deck of cards kept appearing throughout the night although nobody seemed brave enough to claim ownership. I have my suspicions - say no more Nickleback. As soon as midnight was upon us, the German had us shipped out of his flat faster than you could say lieblingsfreizeitbeschaeftigung and a lengthy, heated debate ensued, the topic of which was 'Our next port of call'. The aforementioned port of call eventually turned out to be........

..........The Palace. Fine by me although Doyles was infinitely closer. Taxi up was only 2 big ones each and entry was free so nothing to complain about really. Good times had in the palace. Bit of an Andrew's reunion with Robbie G, Laura L and Byron turning up. Highlights included talking to a Dutch Kirsten Dunst, meeting Tori Spelling and enthusing excessively to the girl from Ballinteer about the wonder that is Ska music. Saturday 19th November, 4:00am and myself and Ali have our asses firmly rooted to a worryingly rickety 84N. Vague memories coming back just now of excessive thanking of the driver for getting us home in under 19 minutes. Impressive. After a brief discussion with Ali regarding good kisses and a wrestling match with Rog to get a sleeping bag off him our sleepy heads were lain to rest in anticipation of Part II.

Part II involved taking a bus into town to meet the German & co at Goldsmith. Again, a severe lack of Irish with several Germans, a few Dutch, a Spaniard and a girl from Ballinteer. Ended up in Buskers for a disappointing match against the Aussies in which Ireland lost 14-27. Back to Lennys for some delicious pasta Carbonara and the Wales-South Africa match where the referee, having lost his whistle, was forced to resort to capturing a defenceless bird to poke with a stick in order to simulate the shrill sound of a whistle. Off we are again on the 6 mile hike that is the journey to Frazers of O Connell st. This time it's the Real Madrid - Barcelona match. Alas here the excitement of the last 24 hours caught up with me and that combined with the high temperature and lack of oxygen in Frazers forced my early departure on the 20:10 145 bus. A night cruelly cut short yet one to be remembered. Only one question remains - Who's the girl??!! -->

Now away with ye...

Saturday's match turned pub crawl

2005-11-15T23:36:00.000Z

This blog is destined to store many random stories that apart from being mildly amusing to a few of the people involved will be quite dull. Nonetheless it will provide me with a means to record the many exciting adventures that seem to find me at every turn. And on that note, Saturday seems like a good place to start. Let me see...

It all started with waiting for an hour for a bus to take me to Mary Macs of Ballsbridge. Although the journey was augmented by the company of Elliot's lovely girlfriend Niamh, the traffic was crap between Donnybrook and Ballsbridge. Nonetheless I finallly arrived at Mary Macs where Sarah and Fi were waiting. More arrived and the match began. What match? Ireland V All blacks. Rather not discuss the result although I don't think Ireland played too badly. Anyway after the game Aily turned up. Say no more about that. She knows I'm sorry.

Then on it was to Burger King on O'Connell St. Took me a while to remember how we got there but I'm pretty sure at this stage it was by bus. After a swift whopper meal it was on to some random pub Lenny the German found to watch Germany V France. Frazers as I am just reminded by Col. Then on again to Parnell Mooney's for some reason to which I am unaware. It was here we met the legendary Scatman John who joined us in an impromptu rendition of Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop. I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise to Fi for opening a letter of hers that clearly was not addressed to me. So anyway this pub attracting the sort of clientel (A certain stuttering old man) that it does we moved swiftly on to....

The Ivy on Harcourt st. Being closed (it was still ridiculously early, about 9.30pm) we headed up to Slapper Face Jacks for a few Britney Spears. It is worth reminding people of Fi's abusive nature at this point. The taxi journey to the Ivy was quite eventful. Fi went into one of her rages hurling abuse through the taxi window at everyone who walked past until... OMG! Total 'mare! She abuses someone she knows who she doesn't recognise till its too late. Bad buzz on Monday morning in college when she saw the person apparently! Abusive comments from Fi included "You're a slut", "Your Ma's a slut" and simply "SLUT!" Needless to say the taxi driver was far from happy as Larry and summed it up himself when he pointed out that Larry is probably not too happy anymore and is probably about ready to kill himself. So its no surprise that heading back to the Ivy after Slappers Fi was refused entry. This is where the group split. With Emsy Col and Aily (sorry) heading into the Ivy, Myself, Nik, Fi, Sarah and the German headed on down to the Mezz.

The band unusually wasn't the best or perhaps the alcohol level in my body prevented me from appreciating them properly. Nothing especially of note happened here although its possible that I simply don't remember. Anybody with a better memory feel free to enlighten us! Also Would love to hear what happened over in the Ivy. Apparently it was full of 12 year olds. The only piece of action I heard from that group was that a drunken staggering smoking Brian O'Driscoll was spotted on Grafton St. with a pair of not so hot looking broads. Personally my night ended with being offered a piece of black pudding on the night link. After politely refusing, the kind Gentleman proceeded to light up. Thanks to Fi, I didn't get knocked unconscious as a result of my protest. Although I paid the price with Fi whining at me all the way home that my house wasn't in town.

Special thanks to Colins impeccable memory, the red people for giving us directions to the Ivy and Aily's bag that relentlessy followed us from pub to pub. Aplogies to Aily generally and to both Aily and Fi for ruining their tops. Additional general apologies to anybody whose clothes were moistened as a result of any of the numerous pint-spilling occasions intiated by me.

Now away with ye...

Doop

2005-11-15T21:07:00.000Z

Doop. Does anybody remember Doop? I do because they were the first "band" I ever saw to have a song whose name was the same as the band's name from an album of the same. So when it came on MTV it was like: Doop by Doop from Doop. Classic!

Anyway settin up a blog, pickin up ribs. Though I might as well since everyone else is. Will get some good quality literature fired into this bad boy soon enough. Don't have time right now though. In work and the lectures are all finishing up. I have to go and clean the studios then lock up and cycle home.

Thanks for reading!

Now away to ye...