SKA SKA SKA!

Nice. BAsically this is like a really short executive summary of last Friday. I definitely plan to add to it in the future but I feel I should put something up in the meantime lest I completely forget about it.

Basically Col and I went to see Special Brew at the Sugar Club courtesy of Mr. Stephen Rooney. Great gig and afterwards we ran amuck around Dublin. For some reason I thought it was completely reasonable to steal a chair from burger king. I chickened out at the last minute but once we were outside I wanted to go back for it. Alas I was not willing to put my money where my mouth is. Also for some reason I purchased some porn involoving 18 year old ladies. Although the seller of the porn insisted that it was not a bad thing that I was buying it I was still very much embarrassed by it. At one stage I dropped it in the queue in Burger King and it landed with a dodgy page showing face up much to my mortification. Another incident on the way down Grafton St was my donation of €2 to the buskers which I demanded to be returned to me when I figured out they were shit. Thanks to Col for preventing a fight that I could easily have gotten into. On a more positive note, I managed to win the gold medal for hurdles in the special olympics that night despite there being bikes chained to the hurdles. My feet and body generally were killing me the next day as a result of the dancing but twas a goodnight all the same.

Now away with ye...

Day 3 - I am a Weapon!

Waking up on the third day of our Tilburg trip I didn't feel half as bad as I did waking up
on the second day. Unfortunately my travelling companions did not share my lack of hangover
and Fi in particular was in a bad way. Joris once again was nowhere to be seen and we began
to wonder if he even came home at all last night. We woke up properly and whipped up a
batch of the obligatory toasties. Fi who is normally quite intolerant was at the height of
her intolerance this morning and I actually feared for Max's life if he were to mention the
T word to Fi again. Some time was spent filling Max in on his drunken antics from the night
before. Due to falling sleep and our general drunken state we didn't get to finish Kingdom
of Heavan from the night before and so we decided to watch the lat 30 minutes again. The
leading woman seemed a lot hotter the night before and the film was even worse than we
remembered it. After this and listening to the same Nirvana album 5 times Joris turned up
to show us round his university. The bus today was €1.60 when the day before it had only
cost 50c. Even Joris is confused by this and can't explain it himself. The university was
simple and quiet - a bit like Lenny! Ah no. We went up to the top floor and thanks to the
flat nature of the Dutch countryside we could see for literally miles and miles. Lenny as
always was only thinking about his stomach and when he was going to get his next fix of
toasties. So after a lot of Fi being intolerant towards his grumbling we headed for their
equivalent of the buttery. Toasties and soup for a change. With a bit of food in us we
began to feel thirsty again and so the first beers of the day were ordered. After a few in
"The Buttery pleesh" we went into the town to look around. On our travels we encountered
the Dutch equivalent of Hector Grey's. Still feeling guilty about breaking Joris' chair on
the first night I decided to buy him a replacement. Unfortuantely the only chairs they had
were small, flimsy, breakable neon fold up ones however it would have to do. I promptly
bought it and presented it to Joris. Frankly Joris thought it was shit but Max seemed a lot
more interested in it. From that point on it was a rare thing to see Max without the chair.
On our way to a pub I needed to stop off at an atm. The chair provided the perfect way to
rest my posterior while withdrawing cash. More Heineken Bavaria and Grolsch in the pub.
Then it was on to the restaurant that Joris booked us into where we caught up with his
girlfriend. I ordered the wrong thing by accident but it ended up being delicious. Still
would have loved the steak that Lenny got. A nice after dinner game of Guess Who was fun
except for the cheating. If you're going to play a game you should play it properly. On the
way to the next bar, Max insisted on having a photo of him sitting on the chair taken at
every point along the way. He even asked randomers to stand beside him while he sat on the
chair. Some randomers were more happy about this than others especially the 15 year old
girls he asked. It was impossible to wrench the chair from his hands. He just would not let
go! We were now in this bar that sells many many different types of beer and each one comes
in its own glass with its own beermat. One final photo with the chair was taken in the mens
toilets. Sat at the table next to ours was a couple eating a platter of cold meat and
cheese. As soon as they left Max was over there in a flash to tidy up the remains of their
food. He has no morals! After this it was back to Joris' place where the others smoked the
last joint - HAZE! This is, as the packet says, for the experienced smokers only. Well when
they came back up to Joris' room from smoking it you could see why. I could tell there was
a lot of laughter contained within them ready to burst out. It only took about 30 seconds
for me to make a completely non-funny comment about the crisps we were eating which
resulted in everyone crying with laughter till there were no more tears left. For some
reason Fi's logic was wreaking havoc. She got the idea into her head that becuase of
Lenny's army training he might be officially classified as a weapon! Lenny relished this
and made Fi regret asking him that for the next 24 hours. He even compared himself to
rambo! It was just then that Lenny decided to tell me that the chair I broke on the first
night was not in fact given to Joris by his grandfather and it was of no sentimental value
to him whatsoever. BASTAD! But I decided to let him away with it since buying the new chair
had been such a great source of amusement. We decided to hit the sack relatively early
since we were leaving the next day much to the disappointment of Max. He would have kept on
going forever if he was given half the chance! Lying in bed trying to sleep we played a
newly invented word game that Lenny kicked our asses at despite him being German. Nothing
against Germans like! So that was it. The next morning we were up and out everyone was
feeling like shit and not saying much. An uneventful journey home however I must mention
that wins from both Leinster and Munster in the Heineken Cup mean an all-Ireland semi final
in three weeks time in Lansdowne road. I CAN'T WAIT!


Now away with ye...

Day 2 - Best city ever!

My eyes open. I regard the unfamiliar ceiling with curiosity. As I sit up to check the time a sharp pain shoots through my head. I lie there for a while as some memories come flooding back while others are lost in the vast cosmos of my subconscious. Looking round I notice a 3 legged chair with a splintered leg lying beside it. I somehow have a strange feeling that the current state of this chair had something to do with me. I look around further and there is Lenny with a smug German grin on his face. He remembers! Bastad. The next while is spent filling in the gaps. Lenny reminds me of the breaking the chair incident. The chair, he tells me, was one given to Joris by his Grandfather. As Lenny himself put it: "Monetary value - €20. Sentimental value - Priceless!" I felt like shit. I was also reminded of my incessant Dutch accent. While Lenny's advice to cut out the Dutch accent while we are here was harsh, I definitely agreed I should cut back. At least for 5 minutes. Pleesh! Joris had long since left the gaff to go to the University to organise the party tonight. We all got up, showered and headed out to marvel at the beautiful sights of Tilburg. The arguing began as soon as we left Joris' place. Lenny, despite never having been here before, insisted that he was 100% sure of the way to town and that there was no need to get a bus. I have to admit that after much grumbling along the way we did arrive at the town after not too long a walk. The plan was to find an eatery ASAP. Easier said than done! Some of us (mainly me) were happy with eating in literally the first place available. Others wanted to look for the most suitable place available. It was then that we stumbled upon a lovely little place called Havana. True to it's name the bar/restaurant was a Cuban style establishment. We noted its attractiveness on the way in and yet again after we had consumed food. Although we required something substantial, it was difficult to look at a menu in Holland and not order Toasties! Lenny and I solved this problem by ordering a burger each with all the trimmings and a minitosti to share. This caused much amusement when the small table we were sitting at was full with our respective dishes and Lenny was forced to hold the plate of tosti in his hand while eating it. After the food and about 6 cokes we moved on to next door. This was a pleasant bar in which I got a beer while the others drank coffee. We didn't stay for long though as people were eager to scout out the coffee shops. We asked directions to a coffee shop in Havana and although they seemed simple enough we still managed to get lost. We did however know the name of the establishment to which we were headed and Fi asked a couple of young girls where The Grass Company was. They looked terrified and replied "We wouldn't know where that is!" before running away down the flat Dutch street. Perplexed we decided to look for the place a bit more before finally deciding the best thing would be to head back to Havana and reinforce the directions in our mind. After following them again we finally managed to find the place. It was great! Very mellow and chilled out and the music was spot on. On entry we were given a drinks menu, food menu and Marijuana menu. After sampling some of the products that the coffee shop had on offer we headed back to Joris' to freshen up for the party that night but not before stopping off at the local Jumbo. Here we stocked up on Tosti ingredients, snacks and 4 crates of beer. Joris' eyes nearly popped out of his head when we arrived back with all that. A quick freshen up later we were on our way down to the restaurant for dinner with about 30 other guys that Joris works with. Upon arriving there we realised it was the same establishment we visited straight after Havana earlier. We were served a 3 course meal for only ten bucks. Tomato soup, followed by Schnitzel followed by Gemischtes Eis. The final bill was split evenly which came to only €17 each! We felt kind of bad since we had probably drank 3 times as much beer ass everyone else but we weren't complaining. In any case, we were on holildays!

After the dinner we trekked on over to the party venue. It wasn't open yet and Joris had to go in to get set up so we mozied over to the Irish bar across the road for a quick one. After a rather not nice guinness we headed over to the venue. Since the first 500 beers were free we were eager to get in early. We strolled straight up to the bar and ordered a round. We met many people that night. Of note were Joris' girlfriend who was lovely and a guy who when wearing his dreadlock wig looked like Drexel from True Romance. We danced to trance, drank, danced to R&b and drank some more. When the 500 free beers ran out we had to buy tokens from a machine and exchange them for beers for the rest of the night. You never exchange money with the bartender. The party was beach themed and had sand on the floor and everyone was wearing shorts, tank tops, bikinis and garlands (Thanks Emsy!). At one stage during the night I saw a guy fall and hit his face off the bar. When he got up, he was missing a tooth and there was blood pouring out of his mouth! OUCH! Around 3.30 am we headed back to Joris' apartment sans Joris. We were all in good spirits but Max was in expecially good form. At Joris' Fi instantly collapsed on the pile of matresses. Max felt it necessary to jump on top of Fi and Lenny and I were not about to argue and so jumped on too. After squishing Fi so flat that you would need a vernier callipers to measure her width, we decided that tostis and a viewing of Kingdom of Heaven was in order. I began to prepare the tosti ingredients and Max in his high spirited state insisted on helping. I repeatedly told him to sit down and that I would make the tostis and bring one to him when they were ready. He still insisted on helping so I reluctantly put him in charge of cutting the cheese. I busied myself with the ham and bread and when I looked back several minutes later Max had cut almost the entire block of Gouda! This time I banished him to the couch and told him to sit still. When the Tostis were ready we sat down to watch the film. Unfortunately the Tostis were not enought to fill Max's rumbling stomach and he proceeded to eat every other piece of food in the gaff including Fi's precious bugles. The film wasn't great although the main female character was hot. Half way through the film, Lenny got up to go to the jacks. Upon his arrival, he sat down on the couch, looked at me and declared in the best German accent ever "I've been sick." Hilarious! After the terrible film ended, we hit the sack. Fi by this stage was unconscious on Joris' bed and since we didn't know if he would return tonight, we thought it best to remove her from the bed. This proved to be more easily said than done and Fi was not happy about being moved. Still we managed it eventually and we all slipped into alcohol induced unconsciousness for the second time this holiday.

Now away with ye...

Day 1 - Toshtis Pleesh!

Apologies for the lack of blog entries which comes at the hands of Final Year Project. Said project is now done and dusted and all 5 copies handed into the Department of Statistics reception. Speaking of FYP, a trip to Tilburg to celebrate its completion was undertaken last week and this is the subject of the forthcoming entry.






I guess the trip began at 11 am on the morning of Wednesday 29th March 2006. Lenny called over then and after a while we headed to O'Neills to meet Fi and Max. Lenny decided that it would be prudent to buy a gift for Joris and after considering many fine articles of Irish tack from O'Carrolls, we finally decided on a €8 rugby ball from Champion Sports. Onwards and upwards as I say we went to Bruxelles. It was well after midday at this stage and a pint was already overdue. I must say the guinness is extra creamy at that hour of the day. Either it was the pre holiday jitters or the excitement of having finally handed in FYP but I was in an overly giddy mood. Along with this came a new found clumsiness which resulted in many pints being spilt and people being bumped around. Soon it was time to go and after a quick stop off at my place to pick up my digital camera we headed for the 16A bus stop to bring us to the hairyport. On the bus we decided that the can of Prascky burning a hole in Fi's bag had to be drunk. Although I was in pain due to bladder burstage being imminent, I somehow managed to get half the can into me. After arriving at the airport and making a much welcomed piss stop, we checked in and headed straight for the bar. Just as we ordered our pints, our flight was called. No problem. We downed the pints and headed for the gate. On the plane we met up with Philip, a rather nice Dutch guy who was returning home after visiting Guiseppe (hehe!). During the safety demonstration on the plane, Fi and I were repremanded for talking by a fiesty yet strangely attractive air hostess. The plane ride itself was unusally quick, no doubt our perception due to alcohol already consumed, high holiday spirits and the several Amstels imbibed while on the plane.

By the time we arrived at Eindhoven airport, the rugby ball no longer looked like brand new. In fact it more looked like we had found it in a skip and decided to bring it for Joris. The man himself picked us up at the airport and drove us in his very VERY small Renault to Tilburg. Despite a near crash on the way we made in one piece to his luxurious bachelor pad. It wasn't long before we raided his fridge, cracked open the beers and were having the banter. Max and Joris very kindly made us the best meal EVER! Mashed potato, cabbage and bacon. Delicious! Although they made more than enough, within minutes we were literally scraping the bottom of the large saucepan and whining for more. After the hearty meal and long day of drinking we began to feel tired. Fi was concerned about imminent fadeage and suggested heading out to the local for a few pints. In the end we decided to stay in and hang out with Joris since he had been so kind in making us dinner and providing us with alcohol. It didn't take long for someone to suggest drinking games and that's when all hell broke loose! The first was ring of fire. Despite a considerably weak rule that only beer and whiskey be allowed in the dirty pint, the game resulted in carnage. Suitably, Lenny got the dirty pint. After this, the next game was quite a complicated one involving dice and numbers and stuff. Although the Germans assured me this was a game played by young kids in Germany I still couldn't get to grips with this. However I eventually managed to exploit my ingorance into making others drink which was fun. The next thing I remember was waking up the next morning although I was subsequently filled in on some events that happened. First, I apparently broke Joris' chair when leaning back on it. Second, I apparently INSISTED that Joris make us toasties! Finally, I apparently made fun of the Dutch accent to the point of annoyance on Joris' behalf. All I can say is sorry Joris. Also a big apology to Lenny and Max for other events that took place that night that we will discuss in a more appropriate forum.

Now away with ye...