Lip up fatty

This was the first weekend of my not drinking Sunday to Thursday buzz and as such by the time I arrived at Fi's just before 8 on Friday I was more than gagging for a beer! Thankfully I had in my possession a rather large sports bag the contents of which included 20 bottles of rolling rock, 6 cans of Prascky, a jar of Phileas Fogg salsa, a pack of green pringles, a pack of cool tortilla chips and to finish it off - a bowl of beautiful homemade guacamole! Mmmm... The guacamole came with particular sentiment as I had complained the previous week about the quality, or lacak thereof, of the Tesco guacamole. So at Fi's already were Niamh and the German. While Fi was busy rustling us up some of her delicious korma stir fry the rest of us were busy getting outside of the beer. (Well me and Lenny anyway. Niamh was suffering from a molar deficit.) After a delicious meal we launched into the vodka jelly shots which contrary to Lenny's beliefs did not contain any traces of jellyfish. By this stage another friend of Fi's had turned up whose name escapes me right now (something like Andy or Toby) and the vodka jelly inspired her to mix a jug of Vodka and coke. We attempted a power hour which quickly became a power half hour which then became a power quarter hour. I think we gave up after about 12 minutes. Fi called for a taxi and in the time it took for it to arrive Toby/Andy had polished off her entire jug of vodka and coke! :-/ Messy times lay ahead and we all knew it. Into town we went to meet up with Wigs and Amy before heading on to the Gaeity for a bit o the ska music. Unfortunately Toby/Andy didn't make it further than where the taxi left us on Stephen's green. Myself and the German went to meet Wigs + gf while Fi tried to knock some sense into her gibbering drunken friend. The Gaeity not being open yet we headed for Sinnots for a quick one. It was here we met up with Fi again who related to us the story of Toby/Andy getting sick on her shoes before being bundled into a taxi homeward bound. Jaysus! We weren't even inside the club yet! So we only had time for one and soon enough we were upstairs in the Gaeity waiting for special brew to take the stage. Thanks Steveo for guesting us. It wasn't long before we heard the familiar introduction to One Step Beyond which saw us take immediately to the dance floor and hardly leave it till the end of their set. Despite the fact that my knee was giving me severe agro thanks to a rugby demonstration between me and Lenny in Fi's kitchen earlier I was able to give it sox.

After Special Brew we left the club and there wasn't even a mention of attempting to go home without one of the beautiful juicy kebabs on offer from Iskanders. I remember ordering and standing back against the wall waiting for my food and clutching my ticket when instantly the big black security guy grabs it off me and thrusts a bag of greasy food into my hand. Although slightly bewildered I wasn't going to argue. After all, it is supposed to be fast food. I just hadn't banked on faster than the speed of light food. Anyway a new problem faced us upon leaving Iskanders. The nightlink wasn't for 20 mins and the taxi queue was abominable. We decided to veeto both these ideas and try and hail down our own taxi. A futile effort you may think but through some bizzare fluke we managed to flag a taxi down and before we knew it we were speeding down the N11 towards 30 Priory grove aka Chez Swan. It wasn't long after arriving there that we launched into our respective kebabs faster than you can say dodgy Turkish crime syndicate. Just then Maria came bursting in full of life (and alcohol ;-) and proceeded to make a sandwich. She couldn't believe her luck when she opened the fridge to find a beautiful big bowl of homemade guacamole sitting there waiting for her! She shlapped it on her sandwich just as I realised she was eating into our stash for tomorrow. "No!", I exclaimed. It was all mellow once I explained everything to her but I still had a need to check exactly how much she had taken. I plucked the bowl from the fridge and it promptly slipped between my fingers and hit the floor with a muffled smash. Disaster. The bowl had smashed into half the bowl plus a million other bits. Remarkably the guacamole seemed to all be in the half bowl still intact with very little of it on the floor. Spying an opportunity to recover the delicious dip I picked up the half bowl only to let it slip through my fingers again! This time it did smash into smithereens. We were all astonished and all stood there staring for a good time before anybody said anything. Somehow there was still scope to save a small amount and so I did before throwing the damaged bowl and guacamole in the bin. It seemed like a good time to hit the sack and so we did. Unfortunately while lying in bed I took the opportunity to send a few drunken texts including several to Fi who was sleeping across the hall!??!

The next day had been planned in advance as the best hangover day ever. It started out with a quick fill in the memory blanks session with Maria and Fi before a nice stroll in the cool morning air over to Tesco for hangover day ingredients. The shopping list included the makings of a new guacamole as I was damned if I was going to go without it. Once back I whipped up a new batch in no time. Fi had been busy cleaning while I was gone and was now putting together the mother of all fry-ups. The fry was welcomed warmly by our suffering bodies and afterwards we retired to the dvd room for an afternoon of dvds, chips and dip. The first dvd on the list was Freaky Friday starring a quite dyke like Jamie Lee Curtis and an innocent Lindsey Lohan. This was followed by 1.5 episodes of Extras which brought us up to 5.15 - kick off time for the crucial top of the group clash between Munster and Sale in the Heineken cup. Munster needed a win plus a bonus point to even be in with a chance to attain home advantage in the quarter final. Three beautiful tries came in the first half and at half time it appeared Munster had the game sewn up. All they needed was a fourth try in the second half and make sure Sale didn't get within 7 points of them. Easy! In true Munster style they decided to leave the scoring of this crucial try till the 82nd minute!!! Phew. I was sure I would die of a heart attack right there the suspense was killing me so much. Still an awesome performance form Munster and Sale were completely put off by the passion of the Munster fans and the power of the Munster pack. Final Score - Munster 31 - 9 Sale. At some stage during the match Lenny turned up and now that the match was over he was making outrageous demands! He wanted food but needed it stat as he had to get a bus at 8.20! Well he got it and afterwards we left together but went our separate ways. The excitement of the past 24 hours had taken it's toll and the only place I was fit for was the couch/bed. Still, what a way to celebrate a week of not drinking!

Now away with ye...

Don't go breaking my heart - Karaoke!

After witnessing the thrashing of Glasgow by Leinster I headed for a bus. It was Ali's girlfriend Leonard's birthday and we were celebrating with all you can eat Mongolian BBQ followed by Karaoke. The meeting time was 9pm which was far too later for me to go without a drink and so I met Fi at 7.45 for a few pre-pints. We headed for a couple in the Porter House where we had a serious discussion about life and our future together as travelling buddies. Around 9 it was on to the Mongolian BBQ we went. Everybody else was already there and it was just then I regretted eating before going out. Everyone else was up getting all you can eat and I was left sitting there on my own like a tit. I had to order a couple of samosas to make up for it. After some food, discussion and a 1L Stellas (and wisecracks directed at Ali's haircut or lack thereof) we went on to the Karaoke bar on Exchequer st. We were about an hour earlier for our booked slot at midnight and so availed of the cheap Spanish wine on sale. This was the turning point of the night for Fi and I and I'm still trying to determine if it was in fact a sensible idea. Shortly after midnight we headed down to our pre-booked booth where we were hijacked by a group of middle-aged English tourists. Adopting a sort of "embrace the foreginers" policy we welcomed them with open arms. However, a few minutes later the novelty wore off and we laid it down like it was. One more song then they had to piss off. So out came Mack the Knife and a bloody good version of it too. As soon as he was finished though he was booted out faster than you can say cheesy 50's crooner. Once we had the booth to ourselves we let loose with a rip roaring tribute to 80's and 90's music. Featured songs included Total eclipse of the heart, Boom shake the room, Wake me up before you go go, Bohemian Rhapsody, Copa Cobana and several others. The time flew and after a few calls up to the bar via the wall mounted phone for more cheap wine and that elusive "4th book" it was suddenly 2am. Standing on the street in high spirits we decided to split up with Myself, Fi, Eleanor and Wigs heading for 4 Dame Lane and the others back to Ailbhe's. The memory becomes slightly sketchy from here on in. We managed to make it into 4 Dame Lane even with the unwieldy wine cooler I had pinched from the Karaoke bar. Myself and Fi decided to continue the night's theme of cheap bad wine however after half a glass I realised this wasn't happening for me and abandoned that idea in favour of a reassuring guinness. Fi was slightly displeased at this although she made light work of the entire bottle minus the half glass I had already drunk. Of course after leaving 4 Dame Lane the only logical destination was Iskanders. The kebab went down well and the four of us headed for a nightlink. Three of us made it to Fiona's with Wigs reneging. Shortly after alighting the nightlink in Stillorgan, Fi slipped, fell and cut her knee 5 year old style! It was a proper graze and it hurt Fi as she reminded us again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again! Back at Fi's we ploughed into a few more Heinekens while Fi continuously complained about her sore knee. After suggesting that she clean her knee for the umpteenth time Fi finally took my advice on board. But she didn't clean in the conventional go-to-the-bathroom-wash-it-with-a-piece-of-cotton-wool-and-antiseptic way. No our Fi had to adopt her own drunken method of first aid. This involved standing in her kitchen with one foot in the sink and the other on the ground in her skirt while running the tap over the wound! I can't describe how funny and random this looked. Anyway shortly after that Maria came in from 92 and I had good fun slagging her about her inebriated state from the night before. After a few more beers we crawled into bed around 6.30. The next day saw the best hangover day ever. After Eleanor left myself and Fi headed up to Stillorgan for dvds, MacDonalds, Chips and dip. Arriving back we rooted ourselves firmly underneath a big duvet on Fi's couch with a pint of Coca Cola each. We started watching the first DVD (Guess who starring Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac) but it soon became clear this was not a good film. We decided to embrace it and give it the benefit of the doubt by finding something funny about it but 15 minutes later it was obvious this was not going to happen. The film was shocking and apalling and not even bad enough to laugh at. It was downright miserable and I found myself apologising profusely to Fi for my poor choice of film for the second time this week. Just then Sarah and Nik arrived and so we decided to shlap on the second film - How to lose a guy in 10 days. A chick flick that I'm sorry to say I found surprisingly entertaining and fun. :-$ I was disappointed to have to leave half way through and as such never got to find out the ending. So I headed for the bus with a mild headache and a wine cooler tucked firmly under my arm in anticipation of another long week of college.

Now away with ye...

Castres 9 - 46 Munster

College had finished at 3pm today (Friday 13th Jan) and I was hanging around the computer rooms working on my final year project. Despite getting quite a bit of work done I couldn't help the feeling of impending doom at the back of my mind due to an important Heineken Cup group match between Castres and Munster falling on a Friday 13th. I had plans to watch the match in the Woolshed Baa and Grill with the German (I was there with Louise the previous night and noted they were showing it) but he cancelled on me mid afternoon. BASTAD! So in between bits of my project I was texting people to try and find a match watching partner without sounding too desparate. Thankfully good old Emsy came to my rescue. She said she would meet me at 7.30 in the bar which was 10 minutes before kick off. At 7 I headed up to Parnell st to scout out a good spot in front of the big screen. It was just after arriving that a text from Ems informed me she would be at least 15 mins late. No matter. I was comfortable on my stool with a pint of guinness, clothed in a brand shiny new Munster jersey betwixt two other alcoholic loners, each with a similar fanatical devotion to the Munster rugby as me. It was half time before Ems turned up with her American cousin Anna-Rose or some ship sounding name. The score at this stage was Castres 9 - 13 Munster. Dodgy considering Castres were playing at home and within a try of taking the lead. However fears were laid to rest when Munster came back after the break with guns blazing which led to a stomping 46-9 victory! 7 tries meaning almost 2 bonus points for Munster. This means the match against Sale next Saturday is of utmost importance and will decide who gets home advantage in the quarter finals. So shortly after the match finished Colleee arrived and we watched the very worst of Aussie rules while waiting for Clare to pick us up in her car. Recent texting with Claire established she was in Doyles with Lisa and so we went there to meet them. A few pints later it was approaching midnight and I had to nip over to college to rescue my bike lest I not be able to cycle home later. It was while doing so that I bumped into a rather inebriated Maria Swan. She invited me to a shindig at chez swan on Sunday and insisted that she was the smartest, hottest Swan sister, a claim that Fi incessantly refutes. Back at Doyles, the girls and Colleee were waiting for me outside. It was decided that a pokey little place called Hartigans on Leeson st was to be our next port of call. The reason? A guy Emsy fancies sometimes goes there! It was a long shot but nevertheless we headed up. Clare, Colleee, Ems and Anna-Rose by car and me on two wheels. I was cycling up and down the street for some time looking for Hartigans when it suddenly dawned on me that I was on Baggot St! For some reason I had got the two streets mixed up. I still managed to arrive at Hartigans earlier than the others albeit a lot wetter! Hartigans was gas! Four ridiculously bright fluorescent lights provided illumination for the pub and the barman was less than impressed with the American we had in tow. Needless to say we only stayed for one - partly due to the pub's imminent closure. Turfed out on our ears we wandered for miles while trying to decide where to go next. After a few showers later, the Odeon was chosen. Just inside were the toilets which were welcomed by all especially Clare (I'm surprised she managed to keep it in this time ;-) actually I'm sure I commented as such at the time.) Being blokes, myself and Col were out in record time and while waiting for the girls my Munster jersey was met with some slight hostility. It was then I heard a crash and turning I noticed a girl had dropped a glass and was trying to pick it up. When she stood up I couldn't help notice her height. She was a giant! After complementing her on her height we struck up a conversation in which I ascertained her height to be 6'2" or 6'4" with the boots she was wearing. Well I never! I found myself incredibly attracted to her and was about to make my move when her drunken boss appeared on the scene who was less than impressed with my Munster jersey. He started asking me to talk to the tall girl because he couldn't. I jokingly told him to tell me what he wanted to say and I would tell her to which he replied with a completely straight face "What?" I repeated my statement which sounded less funny the second time and received the same reply but with a more hostile face. I was getting slightly worried at this stage and anticipating a scene. He must have noticed this for he suddenly smiled and insisted he was just messing with me. That was fine but he playfully punched me thrice in the stomach which winded me and destroyed any chances I had with the tall girl. I notice Col and the girls had abandoned me (thanks guys) and so I headed up the stairs to find them. One thing I couldn't help noticing was the amount of hot and tall girls in the place. Where had the Odeon been all my life?! We found a few comfortable seats although it wasn't long before the girls were up dancing. General craic was had and we left after a few hours in search of some kebabs. As before I cycled down to Iskanders followed closely by Clare and her crew in the car. I had to wait outside Iskanders for ages for them to arrive and had already finished m'garlic fries by the time they did. Several kebabs were ordered and swiftly eaten although in Emsy's case it was Humous. It was 3.30am or thereabouts and so I bid my pals adieu. The cycle home was tough with a strong wind against me and a heavy laptop on my back. A welcome shower after I got home sent me into a deep welome sleep.

Now away with ye...

Alright guys. Here's the full 4-6-6!

It's been a while. 10 days in fact. I guess I felt nothing particularly special worth writing about had occurred but that's not the point. Lemme see... I'm 100 big ones poorer but at the gain of a guaranteed spot on a 14 day trip of carnage to Bodrum, Turkey on September 17th. I apologise in advance to anyone not coming on the trip for the in-jokes that will result. There have already been a few! But it's your own fault for not coming and I'm damn well not gonna not engage in reminiscing when we come back just beacuase you can't scrape together a couple of quid and come to Turkey and have babies with me. Actually the day we paid the deposit was one of the craziest days I have been involved in. Largely due to the fact that Clare was on some sort of performance enhancing drugs and the pre holiday excitement that gripped us all didn't help. While shopping for lunch to be eaten at Clare's Emsy came out with another quality one liner: "I'm so easily pleased. Ooh! Sugar Puffs!" - emma doyle, 6/1/06 14:30 Thanks to Clare I was reimbursed for the raw bloody chicken olive I was sold in Spar. Arriving at Karen's to pick up hers and Colleeeeees deposits I was promptly sexually assaulted by the powerpoint's dog with his large member.

There was a further incident in the car on the way to the powerpoint's house the heart of which Clare was at. Unfortunately the details can only be known by the Turkey 6. Noone else can know unless annual subs of €466 are paid ;-) Emsy's Naive little world was torn apart when she learned the horrid truth that Happy Apartments is just a name and the place is not in fact invulnerable to the bird flu. This really is a shocking entry. No real substance or depth to it. Largely due to a hangover and lack of sleep. Bah... I'm just gonna publish it now and maybe add to it at a later date. I can't do this right now!

Now away with ye...

Just Friends

Met Fi at front arch of Trinity at 5.45 pm to head over to Cineworld (formerly UGC) for a Monday evening flick. Little did I know of the pub crawl that the night would turn into. Walking up to Parnell St a heated debate began over which film to see. It was Match Point versus Just Friends. I really wanted to see the latter but suspect that had something to do with the casting of a certain Ms Smart as the girl. So I finally won Fi over using my boyish charm since we were a tad early we stopped in McDonalds for some sustanance(??!!). It was here, over a big mac meal, that Fi recalled all the gory details of her week of debauchery in Edinburgh for new year's. Sounded like quite the messy one. Next it was into the film. I received looks of intense "I told you so" from Fi throughout the film and as such apologised to her after for not going to see match point. Still the night was young and throats were dry so we headed to the venue of a previous night many years ago - Madigan's drinking emporium. That's a laugh! It's an old man's pub on O'Connell st hyped up by the name to be a social venue that it clearly isn't. Still the old manness of it is part of the attraction and we had the craic gossiping over a couple of Britney Spears. After swapping our respective new year's eve stories we headed for the Porter House, calling in the services of the German on the way. He arrived shortly with two other Germans and a Frenchman. "I've just come from the cinema", he declared. "We saw match point. It was brilliant!" Ouch! I felt the glare from Fi pierce through my body before I even lookby manipulating color and value. So, pictures to come as the project gets further along and more picture worthy, all I have right now is wet fabric in buckets.

Yarn Harlot has proposed a knitting olympics, and I am extremely tempted to participate, against my better judgement of course. I don't know when I'll have time to knit, or you know, sleep, eat, breathe. I want to knit the skating queen skirt from Knitty for my sister's birthday. I haven't officially joined yet, because I am afraid to commit to something and then come February, not have time to knit it and then feel obligated to knit instead of do physics homework, or instead of working on textiles or something else important. And, the most exciting use of my time is... drum roll... Chris Roberts Antieau has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe. u has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe.

Ok for some reason some randomers blog has become merged with mine. I'd love to know if the randomer has the end of my blog because it took me feckin ages! Still reckon I'll leave it in coz it's kinda random and funny and besides I can't be arsed writing any more.

Now away with ye...

New Year's Eve 05/06

Met Colleeeeee outside The Graduate at 7.20 or thereabouts. We headed to the recently re-named EuroSpar to stock up on booze for the night. For some reason I had it in my head that I had to drink Malibu and nothing was going to change my mind. It soon became clear that the only bottles of Malibu sold in EuroSpar were the midgety 20cl ones. Clearly not enough! After much consideration, I almost decided to settle for some bacardi, a poor substitution for the seriously easy going taste of Malibu. It was just then that I spotted it. The reassuring white neck of a 70cl bottle of Malibu standing tall and proud like a soldier cleverly hidden behind a bottle of Pimms. I knew I would eventually find Malibu and promptly bought it. As it happens, it was worth looking for as the bottle was accompanied by a free promotional Shaggy mini cd. This was slightly worrying as it probably meant the bottle was dangerously out of date however I reasoned with myself that being out of date would probably add to the seriously easy going experience. So content with the Malibu and two subsequently acquired cartons of tropical juice (there was no pineapple juice), Colleeee and I headed back out to the Graduate to wait for Joanne to pick us up. She arrived 5 minutes later in Mark's car and as we got in the car I was given a stern talking to by Mark for sitting in the front. People just don't appreciate the torture associated with long legged people sitting in the back of cars. On our way back to Joanne's via Karine's, I became concerned that Joanne's freezer would not contain enough ice for the several dozen malibu and tropical juices I was planning on drinking. My solution was to call Emsy who was due to arrive in Joanne's house soon and put in an order for several boxes of ice cubes. As it turns out Joanne's fridge was more than adequately stocked with ice and Emsy arrived with enough ice to freeze an army. Ah well, you can never have enough ice! I also discovered that ice has more than one use when I got an enjoyable reaction from skillfully throwing an ice cube betwixed Emsy's breasts. Several glasses of malibu and an uncountable number of renditions of KT Toadstool's Black Horse and a Cherry Tree later, we travelled to Cakes' through the medium of Joanne's, Clare's and Al's respective cars. I accompanied Karine and Lombard in Jo's car and as always insisted on travelling with the roof off.

From the moment I arrived at Cakes' there was an unbearable pressure on me to score Karine. People seemed a little too disappointed at our lack of public displays of affection but I'm sorry. I just can't work under those kind of conditions! Soon after arriving at Cakes' we attempted a dangerous stunt that could have potentially ended in several broken backs. Lucky Karine was too chicken to go through with it and therefore probably saved us all from spending the rest of our lives drinking dinner through a straw. Having not bought any beer due to my earlier mission to drink malibu, I found myself at a bit of a loose end. I was suffering from serious beer withdrawl symptoms and the sickly sweet taste of malibu was not agreeing with me. I made up with beer and promised it I would never leave it again. The only problem was I had none! I spotted a near full crate of MGD on the table that blatantly wasn't mine. I was too sober to have a small enough conscience to steal one myself and so sent Emsy on a special mission to test her courage and stamina. She passed the mission which resulted in a nice cool MGD in my hand.

Midnight passed without any major incidents. Don't remember much after that. Apparently myself and Karine tried to make babies while fully clothed. Also I remember calling Stef from Colleee's phone pretending to be Col but have no idea what I said to her :-/As always photos/memories from the night would be most welcome.

Now away with ye...