Lip up fatty

This was the first weekend of my not drinking Sunday to Thursday buzz and as such by the time I arrived at Fi's just before 8 on Friday I was more than gagging for a beer! Thankfully I had in my possession a rather large sports bag the contents of which included 20 bottles of rolling rock, 6 cans of Prascky, a jar of Phileas Fogg salsa, a pack of green pringles, a pack of cool tortilla chips and to finish it off - a bowl of beautiful homemade guacamole! Mmmm... The guacamole came with particular sentiment as I had complained the previous week about the quality, or lacak thereof, of the Tesco guacamole. So at Fi's already were Niamh and the German. While Fi was busy rustling us up some of her delicious korma stir fry the rest of us were busy getting outside of the beer. (Well me and Lenny anyway. Niamh was suffering from a molar deficit.) After a delicious meal we launched into the vodka jelly shots which contrary to Lenny's beliefs did not contain any traces of jellyfish. By this stage another friend of Fi's had turned up whose name escapes me right now (something like Andy or Toby) and the vodka jelly inspired her to mix a jug of Vodka and coke. We attempted a power hour which quickly became a power half hour which then became a power quarter hour. I think we gave up after about 12 minutes. Fi called for a taxi and in the time it took for it to arrive Toby/Andy had polished off her entire jug of vodka and coke! :-/ Messy times lay ahead and we all knew it. Into town we went to meet up with Wigs and Amy before heading on to the Gaeity for a bit o the ska music. Unfortunately Toby/Andy didn't make it further than where the taxi left us on Stephen's green. Myself and the German went to meet Wigs + gf while Fi tried to knock some sense into her gibbering drunken friend. The Gaeity not being open yet we headed for Sinnots for a quick one. It was here we met up with Fi again who related to us the story of Toby/Andy getting sick on her shoes before being bundled into a taxi homeward bound. Jaysus! We weren't even inside the club yet! So we only had time for one and soon enough we were upstairs in the Gaeity waiting for special brew to take the stage. Thanks Steveo for guesting us. It wasn't long before we heard the familiar introduction to One Step Beyond which saw us take immediately to the dance floor and hardly leave it till the end of their set. Despite the fact that my knee was giving me severe agro thanks to a rugby demonstration between me and Lenny in Fi's kitchen earlier I was able to give it sox.

After Special Brew we left the club and there wasn't even a mention of attempting to go home without one of the beautiful juicy kebabs on offer from Iskanders. I remember ordering and standing back against the wall waiting for my food and clutching my ticket when instantly the big black security guy grabs it off me and thrusts a bag of greasy food into my hand. Although slightly bewildered I wasn't going to argue. After all, it is supposed to be fast food. I just hadn't banked on faster than the speed of light food. Anyway a new problem faced us upon leaving Iskanders. The nightlink wasn't for 20 mins and the taxi queue was abominable. We decided to veeto both these ideas and try and hail down our own taxi. A futile effort you may think but through some bizzare fluke we managed to flag a taxi down and before we knew it we were speeding down the N11 towards 30 Priory grove aka Chez Swan. It wasn't long after arriving there that we launched into our respective kebabs faster than you can say dodgy Turkish crime syndicate. Just then Maria came bursting in full of life (and alcohol ;-) and proceeded to make a sandwich. She couldn't believe her luck when she opened the fridge to find a beautiful big bowl of homemade guacamole sitting there waiting for her! She shlapped it on her sandwich just as I realised she was eating into our stash for tomorrow. "No!", I exclaimed. It was all mellow once I explained everything to her but I still had a need to check exactly how much she had taken. I plucked the bowl from the fridge and it promptly slipped between my fingers and hit the floor with a muffled smash. Disaster. The bowl had smashed into half the bowl plus a million other bits. Remarkably the guacamole seemed to all be in the half bowl still intact with very little of it on the floor. Spying an opportunity to recover the delicious dip I picked up the half bowl only to let it slip through my fingers again! This time it did smash into smithereens. We were all astonished and all stood there staring for a good time before anybody said anything. Somehow there was still scope to save a small amount and so I did before throwing the damaged bowl and guacamole in the bin. It seemed like a good time to hit the sack and so we did. Unfortunately while lying in bed I took the opportunity to send a few drunken texts including several to Fi who was sleeping across the hall!??!

The next day had been planned in advance as the best hangover day ever. It started out with a quick fill in the memory blanks session with Maria and Fi before a nice stroll in the cool morning air over to Tesco for hangover day ingredients. The shopping list included the makings of a new guacamole as I was damned if I was going to go without it. Once back I whipped up a new batch in no time. Fi had been busy cleaning while I was gone and was now putting together the mother of all fry-ups. The fry was welcomed warmly by our suffering bodies and afterwards we retired to the dvd room for an afternoon of dvds, chips and dip. The first dvd on the list was Freaky Friday starring a quite dyke like Jamie Lee Curtis and an innocent Lindsey Lohan. This was followed by 1.5 episodes of Extras which brought us up to 5.15 - kick off time for the crucial top of the group clash between Munster and Sale in the Heineken cup. Munster needed a win plus a bonus point to even be in with a chance to attain home advantage in the quarter final. Three beautiful tries came in the first half and at half time it appeared Munster had the game sewn up. All they needed was a fourth try in the second half and make sure Sale didn't get within 7 points of them. Easy! In true Munster style they decided to leave the scoring of this crucial try till the 82nd minute!!! Phew. I was sure I would die of a heart attack right there the suspense was killing me so much. Still an awesome performance form Munster and Sale were completely put off by the passion of the Munster fans and the power of the Munster pack. Final Score - Munster 31 - 9 Sale. At some stage during the match Lenny turned up and now that the match was over he was making outrageous demands! He wanted food but needed it stat as he had to get a bus at 8.20! Well he got it and afterwards we left together but went our separate ways. The excitement of the past 24 hours had taken it's toll and the only place I was fit for was the couch/bed. Still, what a way to celebrate a week of not drinking!

Now away with ye...