Lip up fatty

This was the first weekend of my not drinking Sunday to Thursday buzz and as such by the time I arrived at Fi's just before 8 on Friday I was more than gagging for a beer! Thankfully I had in my possession a rather large sports bag the contents of which included 20 bottles of rolling rock, 6 cans of Prascky, a jar of Phileas Fogg salsa, a pack of green pringles, a pack of cool tortilla chips and to finish it off - a bowl of beautiful homemade guacamole! Mmmm... The guacamole came with particular sentiment as I had complained the previous week about the quality, or lacak thereof, of the Tesco guacamole. So at Fi's already were Niamh and the German. While Fi was busy rustling us up some of her delicious korma stir fry the rest of us were busy getting outside of the beer. (Well me and Lenny anyway. Niamh was suffering from a molar deficit.) After a delicious meal we launched into the vodka jelly shots which contrary to Lenny's beliefs did not contain any traces of jellyfish. By this stage another friend of Fi's had turned up whose name escapes me right now (something like Andy or Toby) and the vodka jelly inspired her to mix a jug of Vodka and coke. We attempted a power hour which quickly became a power half hour which then became a power quarter hour. I think we gave up after about 12 minutes. Fi called for a taxi and in the time it took for it to arrive Toby/Andy had polished off her entire jug of vodka and coke! :-/ Messy times lay ahead and we all knew it. Into town we went to meet up with Wigs and Amy before heading on to the Gaeity for a bit o the ska music. Unfortunately Toby/Andy didn't make it further than where the taxi left us on Stephen's green. Myself and the German went to meet Wigs + gf while Fi tried to knock some sense into her gibbering drunken friend. The Gaeity not being open yet we headed for Sinnots for a quick one. It was here we met up with Fi again who related to us the story of Toby/Andy getting sick on her shoes before being bundled into a taxi homeward bound. Jaysus! We weren't even inside the club yet! So we only had time for one and soon enough we were upstairs in the Gaeity waiting for special brew to take the stage. Thanks Steveo for guesting us. It wasn't long before we heard the familiar introduction to One Step Beyond which saw us take immediately to the dance floor and hardly leave it till the end of their set. Despite the fact that my knee was giving me severe agro thanks to a rugby demonstration between me and Lenny in Fi's kitchen earlier I was able to give it sox.

After Special Brew we left the club and there wasn't even a mention of attempting to go home without one of the beautiful juicy kebabs on offer from Iskanders. I remember ordering and standing back against the wall waiting for my food and clutching my ticket when instantly the big black security guy grabs it off me and thrusts a bag of greasy food into my hand. Although slightly bewildered I wasn't going to argue. After all, it is supposed to be fast food. I just hadn't banked on faster than the speed of light food. Anyway a new problem faced us upon leaving Iskanders. The nightlink wasn't for 20 mins and the taxi queue was abominable. We decided to veeto both these ideas and try and hail down our own taxi. A futile effort you may think but through some bizzare fluke we managed to flag a taxi down and before we knew it we were speeding down the N11 towards 30 Priory grove aka Chez Swan. It wasn't long after arriving there that we launched into our respective kebabs faster than you can say dodgy Turkish crime syndicate. Just then Maria came bursting in full of life (and alcohol ;-) and proceeded to make a sandwich. She couldn't believe her luck when she opened the fridge to find a beautiful big bowl of homemade guacamole sitting there waiting for her! She shlapped it on her sandwich just as I realised she was eating into our stash for tomorrow. "No!", I exclaimed. It was all mellow once I explained everything to her but I still had a need to check exactly how much she had taken. I plucked the bowl from the fridge and it promptly slipped between my fingers and hit the floor with a muffled smash. Disaster. The bowl had smashed into half the bowl plus a million other bits. Remarkably the guacamole seemed to all be in the half bowl still intact with very little of it on the floor. Spying an opportunity to recover the delicious dip I picked up the half bowl only to let it slip through my fingers again! This time it did smash into smithereens. We were all astonished and all stood there staring for a good time before anybody said anything. Somehow there was still scope to save a small amount and so I did before throwing the damaged bowl and guacamole in the bin. It seemed like a good time to hit the sack and so we did. Unfortunately while lying in bed I took the opportunity to send a few drunken texts including several to Fi who was sleeping across the hall!??!

The next day had been planned in advance as the best hangover day ever. It started out with a quick fill in the memory blanks session with Maria and Fi before a nice stroll in the cool morning air over to Tesco for hangover day ingredients. The shopping list included the makings of a new guacamole as I was damned if I was going to go without it. Once back I whipped up a new batch in no time. Fi had been busy cleaning while I was gone and was now putting together the mother of all fry-ups. The fry was welcomed warmly by our suffering bodies and afterwards we retired to the dvd room for an afternoon of dvds, chips and dip. The first dvd on the list was Freaky Friday starring a quite dyke like Jamie Lee Curtis and an innocent Lindsey Lohan. This was followed by 1.5 episodes of Extras which brought us up to 5.15 - kick off time for the crucial top of the group clash between Munster and Sale in the Heineken cup. Munster needed a win plus a bonus point to even be in with a chance to attain home advantage in the quarter final. Three beautiful tries came in the first half and at half time it appeared Munster had the game sewn up. All they needed was a fourth try in the second half and make sure Sale didn't get within 7 points of them. Easy! In true Munster style they decided to leave the scoring of this crucial try till the 82nd minute!!! Phew. I was sure I would die of a heart attack right there the suspense was killing me so much. Still an awesome performance form Munster and Sale were completely put off by the passion of the Munster fans and the power of the Munster pack. Final Score - Munster 31 - 9 Sale. At some stage during the match Lenny turned up and now that the match was over he was making outrageous demands! He wanted food but needed it stat as he had to get a bus at 8.20! Well he got it and afterwards we left together but went our separate ways. The excitement of the past 24 hours had taken it's toll and the only place I was fit for was the couch/bed. Still, what a way to celebrate a week of not drinking!

Now away with ye...

Don't go breaking my heart - Karaoke!

After witnessing the thrashing of Glasgow by Leinster I headed for a bus. It was Ali's girlfriend Leonard's birthday and we were celebrating with all you can eat Mongolian BBQ followed by Karaoke. The meeting time was 9pm which was far too later for me to go without a drink and so I met Fi at 7.45 for a few pre-pints. We headed for a couple in the Porter House where we had a serious discussion about life and our future together as travelling buddies. Around 9 it was on to the Mongolian BBQ we went. Everybody else was already there and it was just then I regretted eating before going out. Everyone else was up getting all you can eat and I was left sitting there on my own like a tit. I had to order a couple of samosas to make up for it. After some food, discussion and a 1L Stellas (and wisecracks directed at Ali's haircut or lack thereof) we went on to the Karaoke bar on Exchequer st. We were about an hour earlier for our booked slot at midnight and so availed of the cheap Spanish wine on sale. This was the turning point of the night for Fi and I and I'm still trying to determine if it was in fact a sensible idea. Shortly after midnight we headed down to our pre-booked booth where we were hijacked by a group of middle-aged English tourists. Adopting a sort of "embrace the foreginers" policy we welcomed them with open arms. However, a few minutes later the novelty wore off and we laid it down like it was. One more song then they had to piss off. So out came Mack the Knife and a bloody good version of it too. As soon as he was finished though he was booted out faster than you can say cheesy 50's crooner. Once we had the booth to ourselves we let loose with a rip roaring tribute to 80's and 90's music. Featured songs included Total eclipse of the heart, Boom shake the room, Wake me up before you go go, Bohemian Rhapsody, Copa Cobana and several others. The time flew and after a few calls up to the bar via the wall mounted phone for more cheap wine and that elusive "4th book" it was suddenly 2am. Standing on the street in high spirits we decided to split up with Myself, Fi, Eleanor and Wigs heading for 4 Dame Lane and the others back to Ailbhe's. The memory becomes slightly sketchy from here on in. We managed to make it into 4 Dame Lane even with the unwieldy wine cooler I had pinched from the Karaoke bar. Myself and Fi decided to continue the night's theme of cheap bad wine however after half a glass I realised this wasn't happening for me and abandoned that idea in favour of a reassuring guinness. Fi was slightly displeased at this although she made light work of the entire bottle minus the half glass I had already drunk. Of course after leaving 4 Dame Lane the only logical destination was Iskanders. The kebab went down well and the four of us headed for a nightlink. Three of us made it to Fiona's with Wigs reneging. Shortly after alighting the nightlink in Stillorgan, Fi slipped, fell and cut her knee 5 year old style! It was a proper graze and it hurt Fi as she reminded us again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again! Back at Fi's we ploughed into a few more Heinekens while Fi continuously complained about her sore knee. After suggesting that she clean her knee for the umpteenth time Fi finally took my advice on board. But she didn't clean in the conventional go-to-the-bathroom-wash-it-with-a-piece-of-cotton-wool-and-antiseptic way. No our Fi had to adopt her own drunken method of first aid. This involved standing in her kitchen with one foot in the sink and the other on the ground in her skirt while running the tap over the wound! I can't describe how funny and random this looked. Anyway shortly after that Maria came in from 92 and I had good fun slagging her about her inebriated state from the night before. After a few more beers we crawled into bed around 6.30. The next day saw the best hangover day ever. After Eleanor left myself and Fi headed up to Stillorgan for dvds, MacDonalds, Chips and dip. Arriving back we rooted ourselves firmly underneath a big duvet on Fi's couch with a pint of Coca Cola each. We started watching the first DVD (Guess who starring Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac) but it soon became clear this was not a good film. We decided to embrace it and give it the benefit of the doubt by finding something funny about it but 15 minutes later it was obvious this was not going to happen. The film was shocking and apalling and not even bad enough to laugh at. It was downright miserable and I found myself apologising profusely to Fi for my poor choice of film for the second time this week. Just then Sarah and Nik arrived and so we decided to shlap on the second film - How to lose a guy in 10 days. A chick flick that I'm sorry to say I found surprisingly entertaining and fun. :-$ I was disappointed to have to leave half way through and as such never got to find out the ending. So I headed for the bus with a mild headache and a wine cooler tucked firmly under my arm in anticipation of another long week of college.

Now away with ye...

Castres 9 - 46 Munster

College had finished at 3pm today (Friday 13th Jan) and I was hanging around the computer rooms working on my final year project. Despite getting quite a bit of work done I couldn't help the feeling of impending doom at the back of my mind due to an important Heineken Cup group match between Castres and Munster falling on a Friday 13th. I had plans to watch the match in the Woolshed Baa and Grill with the German (I was there with Louise the previous night and noted they were showing it) but he cancelled on me mid afternoon. BASTAD! So in between bits of my project I was texting people to try and find a match watching partner without sounding too desparate. Thankfully good old Emsy came to my rescue. She said she would meet me at 7.30 in the bar which was 10 minutes before kick off. At 7 I headed up to Parnell st to scout out a good spot in front of the big screen. It was just after arriving that a text from Ems informed me she would be at least 15 mins late. No matter. I was comfortable on my stool with a pint of guinness, clothed in a brand shiny new Munster jersey betwixt two other alcoholic loners, each with a similar fanatical devotion to the Munster rugby as me. It was half time before Ems turned up with her American cousin Anna-Rose or some ship sounding name. The score at this stage was Castres 9 - 13 Munster. Dodgy considering Castres were playing at home and within a try of taking the lead. However fears were laid to rest when Munster came back after the break with guns blazing which led to a stomping 46-9 victory! 7 tries meaning almost 2 bonus points for Munster. This means the match against Sale next Saturday is of utmost importance and will decide who gets home advantage in the quarter finals. So shortly after the match finished Colleee arrived and we watched the very worst of Aussie rules while waiting for Clare to pick us up in her car. Recent texting with Claire established she was in Doyles with Lisa and so we went there to meet them. A few pints later it was approaching midnight and I had to nip over to college to rescue my bike lest I not be able to cycle home later. It was while doing so that I bumped into a rather inebriated Maria Swan. She invited me to a shindig at chez swan on Sunday and insisted that she was the smartest, hottest Swan sister, a claim that Fi incessantly refutes. Back at Doyles, the girls and Colleee were waiting for me outside. It was decided that a pokey little place called Hartigans on Leeson st was to be our next port of call. The reason? A guy Emsy fancies sometimes goes there! It was a long shot but nevertheless we headed up. Clare, Colleee, Ems and Anna-Rose by car and me on two wheels. I was cycling up and down the street for some time looking for Hartigans when it suddenly dawned on me that I was on Baggot St! For some reason I had got the two streets mixed up. I still managed to arrive at Hartigans earlier than the others albeit a lot wetter! Hartigans was gas! Four ridiculously bright fluorescent lights provided illumination for the pub and the barman was less than impressed with the American we had in tow. Needless to say we only stayed for one - partly due to the pub's imminent closure. Turfed out on our ears we wandered for miles while trying to decide where to go next. After a few showers later, the Odeon was chosen. Just inside were the toilets which were welcomed by all especially Clare (I'm surprised she managed to keep it in this time ;-) actually I'm sure I commented as such at the time.) Being blokes, myself and Col were out in record time and while waiting for the girls my Munster jersey was met with some slight hostility. It was then I heard a crash and turning I noticed a girl had dropped a glass and was trying to pick it up. When she stood up I couldn't help notice her height. She was a giant! After complementing her on her height we struck up a conversation in which I ascertained her height to be 6'2" or 6'4" with the boots she was wearing. Well I never! I found myself incredibly attracted to her and was about to make my move when her drunken boss appeared on the scene who was less than impressed with my Munster jersey. He started asking me to talk to the tall girl because he couldn't. I jokingly told him to tell me what he wanted to say and I would tell her to which he replied with a completely straight face "What?" I repeated my statement which sounded less funny the second time and received the same reply but with a more hostile face. I was getting slightly worried at this stage and anticipating a scene. He must have noticed this for he suddenly smiled and insisted he was just messing with me. That was fine but he playfully punched me thrice in the stomach which winded me and destroyed any chances I had with the tall girl. I notice Col and the girls had abandoned me (thanks guys) and so I headed up the stairs to find them. One thing I couldn't help noticing was the amount of hot and tall girls in the place. Where had the Odeon been all my life?! We found a few comfortable seats although it wasn't long before the girls were up dancing. General craic was had and we left after a few hours in search of some kebabs. As before I cycled down to Iskanders followed closely by Clare and her crew in the car. I had to wait outside Iskanders for ages for them to arrive and had already finished m'garlic fries by the time they did. Several kebabs were ordered and swiftly eaten although in Emsy's case it was Humous. It was 3.30am or thereabouts and so I bid my pals adieu. The cycle home was tough with a strong wind against me and a heavy laptop on my back. A welcome shower after I got home sent me into a deep welome sleep.

Now away with ye...

Alright guys. Here's the full 4-6-6!

It's been a while. 10 days in fact. I guess I felt nothing particularly special worth writing about had occurred but that's not the point. Lemme see... I'm 100 big ones poorer but at the gain of a guaranteed spot on a 14 day trip of carnage to Bodrum, Turkey on September 17th. I apologise in advance to anyone not coming on the trip for the in-jokes that will result. There have already been a few! But it's your own fault for not coming and I'm damn well not gonna not engage in reminiscing when we come back just beacuase you can't scrape together a couple of quid and come to Turkey and have babies with me. Actually the day we paid the deposit was one of the craziest days I have been involved in. Largely due to the fact that Clare was on some sort of performance enhancing drugs and the pre holiday excitement that gripped us all didn't help. While shopping for lunch to be eaten at Clare's Emsy came out with another quality one liner: "I'm so easily pleased. Ooh! Sugar Puffs!" - emma doyle, 6/1/06 14:30 Thanks to Clare I was reimbursed for the raw bloody chicken olive I was sold in Spar. Arriving at Karen's to pick up hers and Colleeeeees deposits I was promptly sexually assaulted by the powerpoint's dog with his large member.

There was a further incident in the car on the way to the powerpoint's house the heart of which Clare was at. Unfortunately the details can only be known by the Turkey 6. Noone else can know unless annual subs of €466 are paid ;-) Emsy's Naive little world was torn apart when she learned the horrid truth that Happy Apartments is just a name and the place is not in fact invulnerable to the bird flu. This really is a shocking entry. No real substance or depth to it. Largely due to a hangover and lack of sleep. Bah... I'm just gonna publish it now and maybe add to it at a later date. I can't do this right now!

Now away with ye...

Just Friends

Met Fi at front arch of Trinity at 5.45 pm to head over to Cineworld (formerly UGC) for a Monday evening flick. Little did I know of the pub crawl that the night would turn into. Walking up to Parnell St a heated debate began over which film to see. It was Match Point versus Just Friends. I really wanted to see the latter but suspect that had something to do with the casting of a certain Ms Smart as the girl. So I finally won Fi over using my boyish charm since we were a tad early we stopped in McDonalds for some sustanance(??!!). It was here, over a big mac meal, that Fi recalled all the gory details of her week of debauchery in Edinburgh for new year's. Sounded like quite the messy one. Next it was into the film. I received looks of intense "I told you so" from Fi throughout the film and as such apologised to her after for not going to see match point. Still the night was young and throats were dry so we headed to the venue of a previous night many years ago - Madigan's drinking emporium. That's a laugh! It's an old man's pub on O'Connell st hyped up by the name to be a social venue that it clearly isn't. Still the old manness of it is part of the attraction and we had the craic gossiping over a couple of Britney Spears. After swapping our respective new year's eve stories we headed for the Porter House, calling in the services of the German on the way. He arrived shortly with two other Germans and a Frenchman. "I've just come from the cinema", he declared. "We saw match point. It was brilliant!" Ouch! I felt the glare from Fi pierce through my body before I even lookby manipulating color and value. So, pictures to come as the project gets further along and more picture worthy, all I have right now is wet fabric in buckets.

Yarn Harlot has proposed a knitting olympics, and I am extremely tempted to participate, against my better judgement of course. I don't know when I'll have time to knit, or you know, sleep, eat, breathe. I want to knit the skating queen skirt from Knitty for my sister's birthday. I haven't officially joined yet, because I am afraid to commit to something and then come February, not have time to knit it and then feel obligated to knit instead of do physics homework, or instead of working on textiles or something else important. And, the most exciting use of my time is... drum roll... Chris Roberts Antieau has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe. u has commissioned me to dye fabric for her work! That is the most exciting thing ever!!! I still have to make up some samples for her and give her a price quote. So if all goes well, that is what I'll probably be spending my weekends doing.

As for my sock, I am past the heel, working on the knit around section until I get to start decreasing for the toe.

Ok for some reason some randomers blog has become merged with mine. I'd love to know if the randomer has the end of my blog because it took me feckin ages! Still reckon I'll leave it in coz it's kinda random and funny and besides I can't be arsed writing any more.

Now away with ye...

New Year's Eve 05/06

Met Colleeeeee outside The Graduate at 7.20 or thereabouts. We headed to the recently re-named EuroSpar to stock up on booze for the night. For some reason I had it in my head that I had to drink Malibu and nothing was going to change my mind. It soon became clear that the only bottles of Malibu sold in EuroSpar were the midgety 20cl ones. Clearly not enough! After much consideration, I almost decided to settle for some bacardi, a poor substitution for the seriously easy going taste of Malibu. It was just then that I spotted it. The reassuring white neck of a 70cl bottle of Malibu standing tall and proud like a soldier cleverly hidden behind a bottle of Pimms. I knew I would eventually find Malibu and promptly bought it. As it happens, it was worth looking for as the bottle was accompanied by a free promotional Shaggy mini cd. This was slightly worrying as it probably meant the bottle was dangerously out of date however I reasoned with myself that being out of date would probably add to the seriously easy going experience. So content with the Malibu and two subsequently acquired cartons of tropical juice (there was no pineapple juice), Colleeee and I headed back out to the Graduate to wait for Joanne to pick us up. She arrived 5 minutes later in Mark's car and as we got in the car I was given a stern talking to by Mark for sitting in the front. People just don't appreciate the torture associated with long legged people sitting in the back of cars. On our way back to Joanne's via Karine's, I became concerned that Joanne's freezer would not contain enough ice for the several dozen malibu and tropical juices I was planning on drinking. My solution was to call Emsy who was due to arrive in Joanne's house soon and put in an order for several boxes of ice cubes. As it turns out Joanne's fridge was more than adequately stocked with ice and Emsy arrived with enough ice to freeze an army. Ah well, you can never have enough ice! I also discovered that ice has more than one use when I got an enjoyable reaction from skillfully throwing an ice cube betwixed Emsy's breasts. Several glasses of malibu and an uncountable number of renditions of KT Toadstool's Black Horse and a Cherry Tree later, we travelled to Cakes' through the medium of Joanne's, Clare's and Al's respective cars. I accompanied Karine and Lombard in Jo's car and as always insisted on travelling with the roof off.

From the moment I arrived at Cakes' there was an unbearable pressure on me to score Karine. People seemed a little too disappointed at our lack of public displays of affection but I'm sorry. I just can't work under those kind of conditions! Soon after arriving at Cakes' we attempted a dangerous stunt that could have potentially ended in several broken backs. Lucky Karine was too chicken to go through with it and therefore probably saved us all from spending the rest of our lives drinking dinner through a straw. Having not bought any beer due to my earlier mission to drink malibu, I found myself at a bit of a loose end. I was suffering from serious beer withdrawl symptoms and the sickly sweet taste of malibu was not agreeing with me. I made up with beer and promised it I would never leave it again. The only problem was I had none! I spotted a near full crate of MGD on the table that blatantly wasn't mine. I was too sober to have a small enough conscience to steal one myself and so sent Emsy on a special mission to test her courage and stamina. She passed the mission which resulted in a nice cool MGD in my hand.

Midnight passed without any major incidents. Don't remember much after that. Apparently myself and Karine tried to make babies while fully clothed. Also I remember calling Stef from Colleee's phone pretending to be Col but have no idea what I said to her :-/As always photos/memories from the night would be most welcome.

Now away with ye...

Christmas Eve Eve drinks

Hi! What's the craic? Just a quick rundown on tonight before I head to bed. Linton Ice Tea was the star of the night. A great quote from Emsy the other night as well. "I wish I was born in the eighties!!!!" Erm... Ok Ems! Keep up the good work! Anyway there's a lot more to say. Keep watching the skies! Btw what is the plural of ski? And what's the plural of sky? If they are both the same and somebody says "keep watching the skies" then how is anybody suposed to differentiate the two long flat things from the big blue cloudy thing??!!!!??

The previous paragraph was written at the height of drunkeness after returning from the punchbowl. Thought I'd better leave it in for completion.

So anyway there we were, three handsome young twenty-somethings, each armed with a secret santa pressie, strolling into Wong's of Monkstown at 6pm for a nice romantic meal. As we were shown to our seats, we were subjected to a bout of harsh slagging from the hostess who cruelly made fun of us being 3 men at dinner together on Christmas eve eve all holding presents. Deciding on what to order was tricky. We couldn't decide whether to have duck, duck or duck. In the end we went with duck. Good duck. After the meal we strolled to Monkstown dart station but not before stopping in spar to admire the scantily clad Orlaith from BB6 on the cover of In Dublin. Just before arriving at the dart station, a call from the hostess at Wong's informed us of my misplaced jumper. Frankly I think the walk back to Wong's to get it did us good although the grumblings of Ali and Wig would suggest they did not share my feelings on this matter.

When we finally arrived at Ye Olde Punchbowl, the misplaced jumper no longer mattered. We were the first to arrive anyway and ordered our pints with great enthusiasm. Eventually more showed up and we invaded an entire section of the pub. This didn't matter as the rest of the pub was relatively quiet and the waiting staff were more than happy to tend to our every need and take our generous tips. Once all the participants in the Secret Santa had arrived, Sam the Bastad Santa handed us our gifts. Overall people were pretty pleased with what they got. I was delighted with my t-shirt that quiet aptly describes me in 3 wonderful adjectives. (Thanks Karine!!! We never got around to scoring though...) Arguably the most contraversial yet popular gift was Ali's stuffed 'wog. I think everyone at some stage got to spend some quality time with Linton and when he wasn't being sociable, he was being lynched from a high shelf. There was a great turnout at the Punchbowl that night with people from all walks of life. Even the gay community were represented with their most prominent ambasssador - Alard! The conversation was magic and I seem to remember enlisting the persuasive skills of Col and Danny to convey the beauty of Lost to my bro. Another conversation that sticks in my head was a lengthy one with Trish R.E. Aideen. Don't remember what exactly what was said apart from a mild hostility to news that she has a new boyfriend.

The Punchbowl stayed open till around 2.30, possibly for our benefit although not entirely sure. Upon leaving, several of us made use of an 8-seater taxi to bring us to Abrekebabra, Dun Laoghaire. On the way, the driver was treated to the extended mix of the definitive drunken version of Fairytale of New York, a capella! As we approached Abrakebabra, we noticed two rather large black bouncers outside. It was then Ali realised with horror the stuffed toy contained within his hand. The coal black face, the round white eyes, the fat red lips! There was only one thing to do. Linton was savagely stuffed up Ali's coat just in time. Sitting down eating our food, I loudly insisted that Ali whip out the 'wog under his jacket. Turning bright red he mumbled something about not knowing what I was talking about and resumed eating his "food", no doubt willing me to shut the hell up! Thankfully I did and turned my attention to stabbing Col with plastic cutlery. Such was the force of the stabbing attack that every individual stab snapped the piece of cutlery into several pieces. This eventually led to a shard of white plastic becoming lodged in my right pinky. That was the end of that little game! We left Abrakebabra without further incident and headed for Marine Rd to grab a taxi or two. To my outrage, the girls took the first taxi that came and I vaguely remember voicing my outrage to anyone who would listen for quite a while after that. When another taxi arrived I forgot all about it and I accompanied my brother, Alard and Col to home.

Arriving home, I encountered my mother in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Apparently I was adament that my mum have the best night's sleep EVER and insisted to her that she do several million times before she returned to bed. A great night out but I want to know one thing. How did I end up with Stef's USIT card in my wallet??!! Perhaps I can use it to bribe her into giving me a kiss on the lips next time I see her.

Now away with ye...

Emsy's 21st

Phew! What a night. It all began around 5pm on Saturday evening when Joris and Lenny arrived at my gaff. We settled down with a few beers to watch Munster V Newport. A close match in the end that could have gone either way for a while. Concrete Colleeee arrived half way through and afterwards we watched some music dvds until the taxi arrived to take us to the 40ft. After a couple of creamy pints with the boy and his girl, we hijacked another taxi to take us up to Ems'. The place looked amazing! A large marquee took up the entire courtyard and had cool Christmassy lights in the celing and loads of balloons everywhere. Everyone was dressed up to the nines and I thought I was looking particularly dashing. Most importantly, there were 2 kegs of Heineken and a keg of Guinness in the corner which I became well acquainted with throughout the course of the night. A delicious Thai green curry was served. The seconds tasted even better and the thirds even better again! At some stage throughout the night, Aily decided she had had enough of Alard's Busted hairstyle and boldly walked right up to him and chopped a piece off while Col was distracting him. She consequently wore it round her neck for good luck.

There was big drama as Alard was leaving when he couldn't find his camera. Relief followed when he found it but in fairness to him it was well hidden. I mean, how many people would think to look in their own pockets?! For some reason everybody kept mistaking Col for Byron (Poor Byron!!!) and earned Col the nickname for the night: Byron with the blazer! Some people also spent a little longer in the toilets than they perhaps would have liked to. A nice dip in the freezing cold Irish sea the next morning helped clear up any traces of a headache. Anyone else got any pics/anecdotes?

Now away with ye...

Christmas dinner with Lin and Lis

HOYYYYYYYY! How is everybody! Or is it how are everybody? No I think the first one. So anyway on Tuesday I had Christmas dinner with Luscious Lin and Lavish Lisa. Chicken and sprouts were the Lin's reponsibility, Lisa got mushy peas, mashed potato and stuffing while I was landed with roast potatoes, carrots and parsenips. I made a delicious mixed carrot and parsenip mash and enough roast spuds to feed an army. They were as crispy as er... crisps. So anyway while I was blasting the shite out of them in the oven I took out a plastic container in which to place them upon conclusion of their roasting. Not realising I hadn't turned off one of the gas hobs from when I was boiling the carrots/parsenips, I put the container down right on top of a naked flame. By the time the sickly smell of molten plastic reached my nostrils it was too late. The container was ruined and once I turned off the gas, the plastic instantly cooled and the hob became encrusted with a layer of clear plastic. Being in a rush I hastily scrawled a warning note for my family lest they cook with that hob later on and contract a mild case of plastic poisoning.

So then I left my gaff for college to finish off my SDD code review then it was on to work to work for two hours for Alban who couldn't make it in till 6. As soon as he arrived at 6, I hot footed it over to Lin's quicker than you could say soggy roast potatoes which funnily enough was the status off the roast potatoes I had previously made. Determined not to let that spoil our evening, we proceeded to eat the dinner along with a very dodgy lumpy gravy. Kudos to Mrs. Lisa on the stuffing! Afterwards, we were honoured with the company of Lenny (Yes! Lenny Von Scheel! The drummer from score!) A few cans of tuborg and some highly dodgy, potentially illegal, cheap Aldi wine later, we were headed for Voodoo Lounge to a charity gig Belinda's friends had organised as part of her masters. Walking through Trinity whilst consuming cans of Tuborg got us in trouble with campus security. Once out of Trinity, we decided to get a taxi on account of it being 1 degree. Due to the close proximity of Voodoo, the first taxi driver refuse to take us. The second driver entertained us all the way there with stories of how the first taxi driver's loss was his gain and how it's illegal to refuse customers who on the basis of their journey being too short.

Voodoo was pretty dead but we were there for a good case so in we went purchasing 5 raffle tickets each on the way. (I bought 10) Had a guinness or two and along came the raffle. Does anybody else think it's typical that I bought 10 raffle tickets and won sod all while the German won 2 prizes with his 5 measly tickets?! Bah. I wouldn't want a €25 Golden Discs voucher or a shower radio anyway! Once the raffle was finished the DJ kicked up and as we looked around we realised with bemusement that everyone was gone except for us! So we quietly slipped out and headed for somewhere guaranteed to be fun. Doyles. Turned out to be another UN convention in Doyles again with people from far and wide in attendance. Guinness was drunk and banter was had. At the end of the night, we were kicked out and to my horror I realised I coudn't remember for the life of me where I had left my bag. Not too concerned with the bag but more with the iPod inside it I began to freak out. Lenny, being the gentleman that he is, went back inside and somehow emerged 5 minutes later with the bag and a smug grin. Phew!

So on back to try and sneak into Goldsmith hall we went as I hadn't been signed in. But not before stopping on the way for a sweet chilli chicken baguette courtesy of burger king. We stopped outside Goldsmith and concocted a crazy story about me being an immigrant from Sligo and needing a bed for the night. Much time was spent synchronising stories and all for nothing! The security guard, the git, wasn't at his desk. Hoorah! So in we went and drank water while talking apparently quite loudly in Lenny's common area. One final, surreal part to the night was the head of a golliwog hanging from the curtain rail! Lenny, reading my disbelieving expression, explained that his flatmate Richard tends to develop violent tendancies when drunk, the most recent occurence being racially motivated and resulting in a decapitated wog. Richard for president!

















I put that last pic in because I think I look damn sexy

Now away with ye...

Queen Ali

Will fill more in here in due course but just had to pay immediate tribute to the drunken (gay) boy that is Ali. Good work dude! Keep it up!

So basically we were at a Queen tribute band in the buttery and Alard turned up smashed! "Take your knickers off!", he roared at a passing security guard. It was only half way through the support band's third song that Ali smelled a rat. "Grum!", he yelled. "I thought this was supposed to be a Queen tribute band!" Nice one dude. Finally, when the Queen band did start and "Freddie" walked out into the middle of the floor while singing a song, Ali jumped up to take a photo up close. But as he got there, "Freddie" walked back to the stage leaving Ali standing in the middle of the floor armed with a digital camera before scurrying back to his seat.

The band were actually deadly too. Much beer was spilt and many balances lost.

Now away with ye...

Law Soc Party in the Vaults

Not good. (Nicht einfach klasse)

Now away with ye... (Gehen Sie nach Hause)

Clare's gaff & turks head

After Froddo Baggins' induction into present arms, an affair that spanned six cans of quality Dutch lager, I met Lenny outside TBMC. We strolled up Dame street with Clare and Mark's apartment as our destination. I don't know how but I left TBMC carrying all my gear and by the time we arrived at Clare's (via a dodgy off license for more quality Dutch lager) Lenny was carrying all the gear. Still no better man for the job and I took advantage of him struggling to put down the gear by running to the toilet ahead of him. I emerged from the toilet one metal pole the richer and placed myself firmly on a comfy cushion with a cool can of Tuborg. The Late Late Show Toy Show was on and I found myself having a long in depth conversation with Clare's sister Judy about Jamiroquai. The room was set up perfect for a soiree. Everything was there - beer, pringles, right down to the big bowl of condoms on the table! Clare explained she got them free from work. Sure Clare! We believe you! Share the wealth, that's what I say. Disecting mine and Hazel's relationship with Goong was another highlight. Eventually Clare managed to round us up to head out. But where to? The Palace was suggested and as soon as Clare heard there would be 17 year olds there she reacted appropriately by screaming "Go on 17 year olds!" Thankfully some other people were more together and we ended up walking to the Mezz.

On the way down, Lombard Direct and Goong went into Number 1 shop for credit and God knows what else. While waiting outside for them, I heard a strange grating sound eminating from the little Thai girl beside me. "oighsdaoiagasdoig" she said. "ZXCXCXCVXOVOFOSF!!" What the fudge was going on?! She was trying to tell me something and I eventually made out that she was telling me that she was coughing and pissing at the same time! Well I had never seen or heard anything like that before and frankly the whole thing freaked me out a little. It was then I realised that thanks to aforementioned quality Dutch lager I may not remember this unique moment in my life the following day. One carefully placed call to Colleee sorted that out and I continued on my merry way. Upon arriving at The Mezz, we discovered to our dismay that the place was closed till next week. Shite. It being quite late, I remembered that the Viper Room stayed open late on weekends. The others weren't too happy about wandering round looking for the Viper room so I volunteered to be the scout party. After 5 minutes of intense searching I drew a blank and decided to return to the others. Upon my return, they had come across a lost light weight New York chick who was asleep on a bollard. Every attempt was made to locate her hostel and just as we found a taxi who knew where her hostel was, Colleee received the following text message:

"The number you requested for "JACOBS INN" is "018555660". Thank you for calling 11811."

It was then that an executive decision was made to go to Turks Head. My what a treat lay in store for us there! As many free postcards as we could eat! (Sample postcard on right) The logical thing, of course, was to locate a pen and write drunken postcards to friends who couldn't attend the evening - and some who were there! We soon realised that our efforts were futile as we had no stamps until... Graham opens his wallet and what falls out? 5 x 48c stamps!!! What are the odds? So out came the tongue, on go the stamps and into the back pocket for postage later. Then it was up for some fairly dodgy drunken dancing. It being the time of year that it is, the music finished with a couple of classic Christmas songs. Forced out onto the cold hard streets of Temple Bar by the bouncers, we proceeded to the only logical destination - Iskanders! After getting outside of a juicy lamb kebab, I felt the need to re-christen Colleee as Concrete Colleee. This is a tribute to the Specials song Concrete Jungle. My next memory is of me and the newly named Concrete Colleee singing the lyrics to concrete jungle at the top of our voices - "You're going home in a fucking amblance. You're gonna get your fucking heads kicked in!" The only problem is Collee swears he wasn't there when I did that which begs the question - who was the bloke I had my arm around and singing with??!! :-/

Apparently Concrete Colleee's journey home was not without its entertainment. The ambulance on the left is the aforementioned one from the Specials song that I was seemingly destined to go home in. His walk over to the northside saw a girl outside Spirit snorting coke from an ATM card! And I'm not talking about the high caffeine, high sugar carbonated drink kids. It was about now that I left the others for my faithful nightlink stop where I waited listening to Jamiroquai. BANG! Something had crashed into me and I didn't know what it was! Looking down I saw a man on the ground who had obviously run straight into me. He was scrabbling to get up quick but the more he scrabbled the more he slipped and fell down again. He finally managed to get up and resume running when BANG! the drunken fool crashes straight into a bus stop! This was met by howls of derisive laugher from innocent bystanders. The poor sod tried to get up but was met with the same problem of the scrabbling/slipping trade off as before. As he finally managed to get up and ran round the corner out of my life forever (hopefully) I felt a strange sense of pity for him. Just then my nightlink turned up and I boarded the vomit comet bound for home. Once home, I turned on my laptop to keep a date I had made earlier in the evening with Colleee to chat to him on MSN. In Col's true drunken thievery that we all love him for, he managed to swipe several thousand postcards from the pub. Not sure what he's gonna do with them all mind. Perhaps he could go about proving my much debated postcard theory. Not getting much response out of Col, I then attempted to chat up a hot 31 year old chick on a dating site. Suffice to say I haven't heard from her yet.

A great night out that would not be complete without mentioning a certain explicit text message intended for Ali but sent to Concrete Colleee. The content of this message will remain locked inside my brain and can only be unlocked using a special key (Any form of alcohol will do really...)

Now away with ye...